Results tagged “adultery” from iVillage - Beehive

News that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has spent thousands of dollars on a high-priced prostitution service had the iVillage message boards buzzing with expressions of shock, outrage and disappointment.

Now, there's another revelation that has the community talking: "new" New York governor David Paterson admits he had marital affairs with several women, one a state employee.

Spitzer's Successor: Also a Cheater?

Gov. David Paterson's confession came a day after he took over from former Gov. Eliot Spitzer. Paterson said the affairs happened during a rough patch in his marriage, and that the employee did not work for him. He insisted that no campaign or state money was spent on the affairs.

An Beehive commenter has this to say: "Watching this thing unfold I'm beginning to think that ALL men cheat. But why? Why marry the woman, pledge to her your faithfulness and then cheat?" But cl-nwtreehugger think more people should applaud Gov. Paterson and his wife: "This couple learned from their mistakes. They went for counseling and saved their marriage."

Member mkatherine thinks he did the right thing by admitting his affairs: "I think he did the smart thing... admit to what happened and get it done with. He didn't abuse power, he didn't break any laws, he had a difficult marriage and they both went astray and found their way back."

Honesty may be the best policy in the new governor's case, but if you cheated would you tell your significant other even if the admission tears you apart?

Reactions to the Spitzer Scandal

The whole scandal still leaves a bad taste in many iVillagers' mouths. Members, such as raskolnikov_pliskin, have harsh words for the former governor—a staunch advocate of ethics reform—calling him a disgrace and a hypocrite. "I hope he is prosecuted for breaking the law and has to live with the consequences like any other John." Member susandoris also expresses her disappointment over the actions of Spitzer, a 48-year-old married man with three teenage daughters: "I'm sad for his family and disappointed by his own lack of responsibility towards me and all New Yorkers."

Members are also commenting on the governor's wife, Silda Wall Spitzer. Her appearance by her husband's side as he made his apology on Monday launched dozens of conversations. Why is she there? Should she be there? Several members, such as navygal06, don't think she should be at her husband's side. "I don't see how you could stand next to your husband while he apologizes for cheating on his family. In reality he's really only sorry because he got caught."

Member pamela.r.simpson also wonders why Sptizer's wife is standing by him. "I just wonder why political wives go along with it so consistently ... to save her [husband's] career, I suppose. Only, I wonder why there aren't more wives who decide that hubby—and his career—can go jump in the lake at that point."

Why do betrayed political wives stand by their man? Member fallenstar2005 thinks it's part of the "business arrangement" that constitutes most political marriages: "It's supposed to be sort of subliminal. See? He isn't so bad. His spouse is still supporting him. If she can forgive him why can't the voters? I really don't know how the spouses stand up to the pressure." She adds: "Actually, I do. When you first find out you have been betrayed, you are enveloped in a numbing confusion. My husband confessed to me on the morning of my son's graduation. I had to sit next to the man I loved and hated more than anything else in the world and deal with friends and family and the appearance of a normal happy event. You become numb. You know you are in no state to make any decisions, yet, and you just live minute by minute. It's horrible."

cl-vahalla31z from the Betrayed Spouses board says she would give Silda Wall Spitzer the same advice she gives on the support group: "[I'll tell her] to make sure she is putting herself and her children first. To think about what she wants out of life, a partner, and a marriage, and then look at her husband to see if she believes he is willing and able to give that to he. If she wants to remain married, then she should be looking to see if he is showing true remorse for the pain he has caused her, if he is taking full and complete responsibility for his choice to cheat, if he is showing through his actions that he will make changes in himself and his lifestyle, and that he will put in a lot of effort into working on the marriage."

Share you thoughts on the governor's resignation and fall from power. Should his wife Silda stand by him? Leave your comments below and watch the video: what to tell your children when a parent cheats.