iVillage - Beehive tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2007-11-30:/ivillage/6 2009-11-17T21:15:57Z Movable Type Enterprise 4.21-en Army Mom Skips Deployment to Care for Baby, Gets Arrested tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.91334 2009-11-17T20:44:45Z 2009-11-17T21:15:57Z Should an Army specialist (and single mom) be punished for missing her deployment flight to Afghanistan in order to care for her 10-month-old son? That's what might happen to Alexis Hutchinson. Hutchinson, 21, was arrested at Hunter Army Airfield in... Jennifer Merritt Should an Army specialist (and single mom) be punished for missing her deployment flight to Afghanistan in order to care for her 10-month-old son? That's what might happen to Alexis Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 21, was arrested at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, GA for missing the flight, and was briefly jailed. Her attorney stated that Hutchinson refused her orders when her only family—her mother—became unable to care for the child while she was away. A superior officer allegedly told Hutchinson that she would have to deploy anyway and that her son would be put into foster care.

Our Military Wives board has been buzzing about this story. Most expressed compassion for Hutchinson's situation, but some thought that she should deploy anyway.

Here's a sampling of their comments:

"She wasn't trying to get out of a deployment. She had a care plan. It fell through and she needed time to figure out another one. Telling her she has to deploy on schedule and that her child will go into foster care is asinine."
—cl-amermae

"The soldier simply asked for more time to find someone to care for her child. Who knows why the baby's father can't or won't care for the child? Maybe he's unable to or unfit. She needs to be given more time and not be charged with anything. She wasn't trying to get out of deploying and she didn't go AWOL. She remained at her base trying to find care for her child.

"I say give her a break. She wasn't trying to avoid duty. She just needed a little extra time to fulfill her obligations to her child and to the Army."
—t09w

"There are single moms (and probably dads) out there who use kids as an excuse to never deploy. I see a lot of ridiculous waivers for guys on my husband's ship that allow them out of deployments. However, I think this case might be different. The article states that the grandma took the baby in October for two weeks and this is when she told her daughter she could not handle the situation. Up until that point, I think the daughter thought she had a care plan in place. If her commander did tell her [that her child might go into foster care], then someone needs to really look at that situation. You cannot tell a mother something like that and then expect her to just hand her kid over. I hope they really check all the facts in this one before they bring a judgment here."
—momranhan

"This is a very sad situation. She should have never joined the military if she did not have several relatives or friends who would step up and help her during a deployment. My husband was in charge of compiling the SRP (soldiers readiness processing) plans for his unit. There had to be indications of her irresponsibility prior to this. 'At risk' soldiers should be identified and calls should be made well in advance of deployments to verify that the soldier has a real plan.

"The bottom line is that she has got to go. No excuses."
—debtfreefirstofficer

"I think that the Army was wrong to force her to deploy without a proper care plan for her child. I know Brad has to fill out a mountain of paperwork and risk assessments just to take a weekend of leave, so you would think they would require the proper paperwork in this situation.

"I do, however, think that it was her responsibility to figure something out in this situation. Most deployments these days are announced far enough in advance that you can take care of stuff like this. I know that her mother said she would take care of the baby, but then later in the article she talks about her mother being ill and caring for other ill family members. Shouldn't that have been a warning sign earlier on that she wouldn't be able to care for the baby?"
—bradsarmybride

Compiled by Laura Motta

Do you think Hutchinson should be punished—or forced to deploy? Or do you think the Army should give her a break? Share your comments below.

]]> Watch The Women's Conference, Live tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.88404 2009-10-26T18:30:48Z 2009-10-26T19:17:03Z Jennifer Merritt From 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. PT, you can see the live Webcast of The Women's Conference 2009 here. Click here to view the schedule. To find out more about The Women's Conference, click here. For more from iVillage and Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation," click here.

]]> Empowering Women to Get Ahead tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.88334 2009-10-26T14:41:15Z 2009-10-26T14:49:26Z Jennifer Merritt NBC Nightly News explores how Bea Stotzer, one of the founders of New Economics for Women (NEW), is helping Latino women succeed.

 

What has been the key to your success? Tell us in the comments below.

For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

]]> Exploring Gender Differences in the Workplace tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.88134 2009-10-23T14:42:32Z 2009-10-23T14:52:07Z Jennifer Merritt It's no secret that men and women communicate differently, but how does that affect workplace dynamics?

 

Do you find it hard to communicate with men at work? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here. ]]> The Increasing Important Role of the Female Caregiver tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87964 2009-10-22T17:18:55Z 2009-10-22T17:24:16Z Jennifer Merritt Despite gains, Dr. Nancy Snyderman says that the bulk of family responsibility falls to women. On Nightly News with Brian Williams, Dr. Nancy discusses how women who are primary caregivers sacrifice their own health.

 

Do you feel like you're always putting other people's needs ahead of your own? For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here. ]]> Pres. Obama: "Today's Obama Family Is Not Typical" tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87954 2009-10-22T16:45:51Z 2009-10-22T16:55:28Z Jennifer Merritt President Barack Obama shares how he and his wife Michelle balance work and family responsibilities, and offers some advice to new husbands on how to "negotiate" changing family roles.

 

Are you and your partner still "negotiating" your familial roles? For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here. ]]> The Modern Woman and Spirituality tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87854 2009-10-21T19:48:40Z 2009-10-22T01:51:07Z In a hectic world, has spirituality taken a backseat to other concerns -- or has it created more of a need to be connected to one's faith? As we examine the balance of women's lives this week, we asked iVillagers... Caryn Stein http://beehive.ivillage.com In a hectic world, has spirituality taken a backseat to other concerns -- or has it created more of a need to be connected to one's faith? As we examine the balance of women's lives this week, we asked iVillagers how spirituality and religion fits into the mix as they juggle family, work and more:

To me, faith and family and totally intertwined.  It is something the family does together.  So, to "find the balance between faith and family" is a concept that doesn't even connect for me.  They are not two things competing for limited resources, where we have to choose one over the other. -- merimom96

My faith is such an important part of my life that I don't see it as something that I have to find time for. It's a part of who I am. Faith and practice of faith comes first in our home. Everything else is secondary.  -- ma2connor

I don't know that what I do, I would call balance, but I try to tackle the more pressing things as they come. I do feel my faith is most important. When I know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to, I don't spend my time worrying and wondering. -- harkness

Read more in our Religion Debate community and find out about how women are really keeping balance in their lives in our Woman's Nation coverage.

]]> Is There an Identity Crisis Going on with Men? tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87734 2009-10-21T15:01:01Z 2009-10-21T15:11:49Z Jennifer Merritt Men who grew up thinking that it was a man's world, "whose doors were just going to open because we have a Y chromosome," as one male interviewee said, are now grappling with women's increasing presence in the workplace.

 

Do you find this new power struggle confusing, as the men Maria Shriver interviewed do?

For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

]]> Women Strike Balance Between Faith & Family tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87724 2009-10-21T14:48:25Z 2009-10-21T14:59:16Z Jennifer Merritt Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation" explores the increasing role of women in church and other religious institutions.

 

Between work, family and other obligations, do you have time for religion or spiritualism in your life? Tell us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here. ]]> Job Loss Leaves Gender Roles Up for Grabs tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87514 2009-10-20T15:17:52Z 2009-10-20T15:22:38Z On Nightly News with Brian Williams, Maria Shriver takes a look at the changing roles of men and women in the workplace. Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Are you the primary breadwinner in... Jennifer Merritt Nightly News with Brian Williams, Maria Shriver takes a look at the changing roles of men and women in the workplace. Are you the primary breadwinner in your family? Share your experience with us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here. ]]> Discussing the Dynamic of the Sexes at Home tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87504 2009-10-20T15:08:44Z 2009-10-20T15:16:40Z Jennifer Merritt Maria Shriver talks with men about the revolution at home and asks, "Who's in charge?"

 

Do you and your partner struggle over who's in charge in your home? Tell us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

 

]]> Housework Is Sexy? tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87424 2009-10-19T16:02:15Z 2009-10-20T02:49:29Z Caryn Stein http://beehive.ivillage.com It's no secret that many women would love to have a little more help around the house. Whether it's washing the dishes or picking up after the kids, sharing the family chores is definitely a welcome relief, but can it also be a turn-on? According to a recent survey, husbands that get busy in the laundry room are more likely to be getting busy in the bedroom as well. The women of iVillage are willing to vouch for these findings:

I think it's a combination of (1) having more energy, (2) feeling more attractive myself (when I get a little break from housekeeping and parenting), and (3) feeling deep affection for DH when he shows through action that he loves and respects our family and our home. -- penn_girl

It's easier to focus on what's at hand if the house is picked up, and you're not tripping on your way to the bedroom, or thinking you have to change laundry afterward, before falling asleep so you  have clothes for the next day. -- rasbet1999

When my [husband] helps more, there is less stress, resentment and fatigue on my part.  It also makes me feel more loved and more than willing to reciprocate.  -- lucita2k

While I don't consciously connect sex with housework, I am much more likely to be in the mood if the house is clean-- even better if I haven't been the one cleaning it. -- geschichtsgal

Some men, though, seem to be catching on:

[My husband] swears his extra help lately is just enlightened self-interest. If I nap while he does dishes, he figures then I have more energy for... uh... other priorities. He's a dreadful tease, but yes, I find the extra help to be a sign of love and what's sexier than a man who adores you? -- just_elsa

So obviously it's about more than just a clean house. How has this played out in your household? Have you been able to balance the household duties as well as time for romance? Or are you just too tired after juggling it all to even think about doing anything else in the bedroom besides catching up on sleep? 

Read more of our community's reaction: Why housework and sex are connected and find out about the real lives of women in the workplace in our Woman's Nation coverage.

]]> Life As a Stay-at-Home Dad tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87344 2009-10-19T15:30:13Z 2009-10-19T15:36:45Z Jennifer Merritt Men discuss the challenges of being a stay-at-home dad.

 

Do you think it's more challenging to be a stay-at-home dad?

To see more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

]]> Politics Needs to Catch Up with the Number of Women in the Workplace tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87334 2009-10-19T15:04:54Z 2009-10-20T15:07:25Z Jennifer Merritt Referring to the research conducted by Maria Shriver for "A Woman's Nation," David Gregory asks, "When will poltics reflect the change that we're seeing in this report?"

 

Do you think women have enough representation in politics?

To see more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

]]> More Women Becoming Breadwinners tag:beehive.ivillage.com,2009:/ivillage//6.87324 2009-10-19T14:39:48Z 2009-10-19T15:35:23Z Jennifer Merritt Maria Shriver spends a day with Michigan's first female governor, Jennifer Granholm, to see how she navigates being her family's primary breadwinner.

 

Are you your family's primary breadwinner?  Share your experience with us in the comments below.

To see more from Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation" click here.

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