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It's no secret that the poor economy is doing a number on most all of us -- but after years of struggling for equality in the workplace, the realization that women are suffering from layoffs, downsizing, outsourcing and flatlining wages in much the same way as men is disheartening. What's more concerning is that according to a recent study from the Joint Economic Committee of Congress women are also dropping out of the workforce as a response to these tough times.  While some women have opted to stay at home to raise the kids or for other family reasons, the study showed that many are taking a break from work because they are unable to find jobs comparable to the ones they've lost, impacting not only their bottom line, but likely their emotional well-being, too.

In most of the stories posted on our message boards, it seems that iVillage women find it necessary to take part-time jobs or freelance work to supplement their income while they look for another job. For some, this may be a long-term solution as they try to wait out the economic downturn. After reading through the comments from our users, I'm not sure that leaving the workforce altogether is a practical option for many women, especially those who are the sole provider for the family and those who are single with no other source of income. Many families are also finding themselves in debt and seek out advice from our Debt Support Group, where colomom99's story is becoming a frighteningly common refrain:  

"I am a journalist and newspapers have lost thousands and thousands of very talented people in the past year who have nowhere to go. My lay off was not completely unexpected -- we knew it was a remote possibility -- but that did not make it any easier when I got the tap on my shoulder the day we returned from vacation. 

Our family is really struggling, losing money every month but still hanging on. We have a terrifying amount of debt which I am trying to tackle as I can. I write from home now and have had some luck in freelancing but it is sporadic and nowhere near what I was making before. The scary thing is my husband is also a journalist. His job is secure for now but who knows."

Throughout the iVillage community many women are struggling with the choice of working to earn money for their family -- or staying at home to avoid the rising cost of childcare. This is not an entirely new conundrum, but in light of has raised this conversation to a new level our Stay at Home vs. Work Debate message board, where some moms are saying the income from their jobs and the price of daycare is practically a wash. Member mm05 shares her experience:

"In June I quit my job. After returning to work from [maternity] leave and having to pay $600 every two weeks for 3 children, I said NO WAY! My pay cheque was only $645-$650 every 2 weeks. That left me with $50. It made absolutely no sense."

In a recent poll, 56% of iVillage users felt that childcare should be a benefit offered by employers. With more families facing hard choices, it may be critical for many companies to work with their employees to come up with a solution that works for everyone. 

Still, in other cases, women from our communities are deciding to go back to work -- even if only part-time, to help the family's bottom line -- either due to rising costs or, unfortunately, due to a partner's loss of work.  

While the Congressional study of women in the workforce has uncovered an interesting trend, the reality for many women (and men) is much more complicated than just "dropping out".  How are you coping with the poor economy -- both financially and emotionally? Have you suffered from a layoff or pay cut -- or are you sensing your job is in jeopardy? 

Is opting to be a stay at home mom a risky business? Of course there are the day to day struggles and the dangers of being eternally exhausted - not to mention ending up on the receiving end of projectile vomit, stray Legos and mountains of laundry. But are there bigger issues lurking under the surface for women who put their careers on hold for motherhood? Just when you think there couldn't be more to add to this long-running debate, enter The Feminine Mistake. Ostensibly a sardonic twist on Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique, The Feminine Mistake offers a grave warning to moms who leave the breadwinning up to dad: by choosing to shelve your career, you are also shelving your ability to provide financially for your children in the event of being widowed or divorced. Author Leslie Bennetts discussed her book last week on the Today Show, and as you can probably imagine, it's stirred up quite a bit of discussion on our message boards.

Of course they're talking about this on the Feminism Today board. There's no shortage of opinions or side debates here:

"I'm so happy to see someone brave enough to publish this information. I've been saying this for years, it's a very unpopular position. I think every woman should know the economic risks to both herself and her children should she choose to be a stay at home parent."

"I think both parents ought to be capable of caring for their child(ren) (financially, physically, emotionally, etc.) on one's own should the other spouse suddenly be out of the picture for whatever reason."

"I'm grateful that my mother continued working so she could fund my college education, and so she could retire at age 57 and care for my ailing father, rather than having to continue to work and putting him in a nursing home. I'm failing to see how funding one's children's education and preparing for retirement so one's children don't need to support their parents in their old age can be considered selfish. If my mother had chosen to SAH, I certainly would have paid the price -- literally."

"Too many kids are being raised by outside forces such as daycare programs and after care. Kids end up away from home more than they are in it. If this can be avoided society as a whole will benefit. Kids are worth the risk and sacrifice. "

The responses on the Current Debates board tend to be less forgiving to Bennetts, but the reactions vary:

"As far as what I've read so far in that book, I find it very fear based and "what if" based and I don't think that's anyway to live your life. There are many benefits to staying at home and although she might cringe at the idea it works well for a lot of families."

"After seeing the interview with Ann Curry, I have no doubt author Bennetts is simply trying to hit the best-seller list. She has to be aggressive and closed-minded to SAHMs."

"Every mother has to make those kinds of choices for themselves and if you are happy working outside the home then do it, if you want to be a SAHM and can make it work, that's wonderful. To say that Motherhood is a Feminine Mistake is very offensive to me."

"Even women who choose to stay home should know the possible consequences, and take steps to minimize their impact on their families, and their own future lives. Unfortunately it has become taboo to bring up any possible negative consequences of choosing to stay home. It's "an attack on the family"."

Family finances are a big topic on the Frugal Living message board and the moms there offer their own experiences and worries regarding staying at home and planning a future:

"I think everyone must take into account her own goals. I agree that completely relying on a husband (or anyone) to take care of you forever is a mistake."

"I think ultimately it's extremely difficult when divorce, death or disability happens and it doesn't matter whether you are at home or working full-time."

"Don't come into being a SAHM or an adult for that matter without a plan for the things in life that can take us by surprise."

"I think every mom needs a back up plan. I have a graduate degree and I worked full time before my daughter was born. The plan was for me to stay home full time. Then our financial situation changed and I had to go back to work part time when our daughter was 18 months old. A short time later DH and I separated and I had to go back to work full time. It's not what I planned."

For even more on the book and the debate, you can catch an exclusive interview with Bennetts right here on iVillage. What are your thoughts? Is The Feminine Mistake an important wake-up call for moms? Or just a superfluous missive of doom and gloom? Chime in here with your reactions and share your own experiences on this issue.

Back in college (ages ago), I collected a lot of those quirky buttons ... you know, the kind with sassy little sayings that you could pin to your backpack. One of my favorites was the one with big goofy red letters that read "LOVE IT! (love your job!)" I really appreciated the random sarcasm held in its 1 1/2 inch diameter. I was working at the bookstore just off campus and while I did love the textbook discount, I most certainly did not love my job. Then again, there's a big difference in working a part time job for party money -- I mean -- laundry money during college and working 40 some odd hours a week in your career. Sometimes, though, it can be a lo-oong 40 hours. We've all been there, no matter how great your job is ... work can be a lot of ... well, erm ... work. If you really love your job, it can ease the pinch of the workweek but should you necessarily have a hot burning passion for what you do? Or is making ends meet (and maybe then some) enough? How does this factor in when college students are selecting a field on their parents' dime -- should the parent push them towards a steady, lucrative career -- or should the kid just be allowed to follow his or her passion? These same questions sparked a flurry of responses on the Stay at Home vs. Work board when one iVillager asked, "isn't it okay for a student or employee to like, but not love, one's chosen field, and reserve his or her passion for relationships, hobbies, faith or other non-income earning activity?" Check out some of the responses:

"I don't have a passion for what I do, I have a passion for living and this job lets me do that by providing a roof over my head and food to eat."

"I am never going to be rich being a vet tech, but I LOVE the job. I could make a lot more money doing something else, and cry less too I'm sure but I could never leave it. As long as the bills are paid I can do without a lot of extras if I love what I'm doing."

"I flat out could not work at a job I just "liked" ...but that's just ME ...and the way I was raised. I love the theater even though it means I scrape by and I do without."

"I am not sure my older son will be ready for college as soon as he graduates high school, which means that I am not willing to pay for an education for somebody who isn't going to benefit from it or appreciate it."

"You can do whatever you want with your passion, but if, for example, my child has a passion for writing and he wants to pursue that as a career, I would never think of telling him that I'll only pay his tuition if he pursues a degree in business. Personally, I think life is way too short to spend it doing something you hate instead of pursuing what you love."

"The whole thing about having a passion, especially wrt college-age kids, is nothing more than a trite cliche, imo, especially when it appears to cover everything from a keen interest in collecting bottle caps to laying one's life on the line through something like Medecins Sans Frontiers. Just yuppie media hyperbole. God forbid an 18yo should say he/she wants a career in accountancy because it's a steady job."

Yowch.

What about you? Are you doing what you love? Loving what you do? Let's face it, some of us are doing good just to get to the end of the week in one piece. (Not me, of course, because I! love! my! job!! PS: My boss is reading this.) But seriously, what do you think? Should a person have a real passion for their jobs to be happy or to be good at what they do? Should this factor into a kid's college tuition deal? Tell me what you really think, and don't worry, I won't tell your boss...