Recently in weighty issues Category

It’s no secret that thin is in, and overweight people have long felt condemned because of their size. Now, a new study from Yale University confirms that weight discrimination, or “fatism,” is indeed rampant in America. The researchers found that discrimination based on weight occurs frequently in both professional and social settings.

Not surprisingly, the study opened a floodgate of perspectives and emotions within the iVillage community. Many members welcomed a scientific acknowledgement that the discrimination they feel in their daily lives is not a figment of their imagination. Member ladyirish317 shared her experience, “People who wouldn't dream of putting me down for my religion, age or gender think nothing of trampling on me for my weight … I had a little girl tell me once, ‘You're not my friend; you're fat!’ Guys in cars have sped past me yelling insults. Once a boy on a city bus leaned out of the window and shouted at me that I should lose weight because ‘You really are ugly.’ I've been turned down for jobs because of my weight, too, though it's never phrased that way.” Another member, mom_rileymm, who has been thin as well as heavy, agreed. “I do notice a difference in how people treat me; it is night and day. One time I got a flat tire, and I had 4 people stop and help. Another time I was crying waiting for AAA for 45 minutes on the side of the road without a single person stopping. Guess what? The second time I was heavy.” Interestingly, mom_rileymm goes on to admit that not only has she experienced weight discrimination, but she herself has also judged overweight people harshly, “And I have to say that I’m even guilty of [weight discrimination, too] when I’m skinny.”

But she’s not the only one. Many members say that they look at heavy people differently than thin people. While member upanddownunder believes that cruelty towards overweight people is wrong in a social environment, she believes that sometimes employers should consider a potential hire’s weight. “In the job market there are definitely grounds for discriminating against fat people, and by that I mean obese people. There are many health problems related to obesity, which can mean that a fat person will need to take time off work or be unable to do their job to the highest level—putting a strain on the employer's business.”

Member jenl703 writes that she also judges people by their size. “I will admit that I DO judge people before I know them based on their appearance (weight, cleanliness and clothes). I am not proud of it, but I know I do it. I have many friends who are very overweight, and it doesn't bother me with them at all.... I don't even notice it. However, if I see someone I don't know and notice that they are very overweight, my first thought is that they probably eat the wrong food and don't exercise.” Several members acknowledged that, like jenl703, they have heavyset friends who they’d never judge, but they don’t hesitate to be critical of overweight strangers. Member esita writes, “I do get annoyed when I see someone who is obviously overweight, gorging on greasy takeaway. I get annoyed when a fat person sits next to me on the train, and I'm squished against the window … I certainly don't hate fat people. I mean, I have a couple 'fat' friends. I don't see them as fat, though. I just see them as my friends.”

Weight discrimination appears to be acceptable in part because many believe that heavy people are choosing to be fat. Member leeya98 says, “I think it sucks that someone could potentially not get hired because of her weight, but like my grandmother used to say, ‘Don’t give people a stick to crack you over the head with!’ Very few people that struggle with weight do so because of medical conditions; usually, it’s a choice!” Member lv2breathe feels similarly, “It is something you can do something about, and it's a reflection of your values and lifestyle. It can be a reflection of eating too much and not exercising. These things aren’t appealing and so no one should be surprised if others don't react positively to them [because they are unfit].” Member mama_lah, however, disagrees. “I totally think that there’s a huge problem with weight-ism in America. I am overweight, and … I think the thing people need to understand is that people don't want to be overweight. It is an eating disorder, just like anorexia or bulimia.”

What do you think? Do you believe that weight discrimination is a problem? Have you experienced it or seen it  happen to someone else? Share your thoughts.

As if keeping off the pounds wasn't already hard enough!

A new study from Purdue University has found that rats fed artificially sweetened yogurt were more likely to pack on the pounds than those that were fed yogurt sweetened with glucose. While it's true that foods and beverages containing aspartame, such as many diet sodas, are low in calories, they may also lead to overeating or less physical activity. When a sweet taste is not followed by a large number of calories, the body may get confused and consume far more calories than it needs or burn less energy than normal. Some specialists, however, aren't convinced these findings are scientifically sound and are dubious about drawing conclusions.

The study has nonetheless generated a great deal of conversation on our message boards. Many iVillagers, although aware of the controversy, are too attached to their daily diet cola fix to consider healthier alternatives like water and tea. Member dandm116 on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board says, "Diet Coke is like my booze!"

And she's hardly alone. Member mindyk1978 also active on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board adds that she drinks ... "diet caffeine free [soda]. I know there are mixed reviews about aspartame and carbonation, but I just don't know if I can kick it!"

Others on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board, however, are far more leery of artificial sweeteners. Member emilysmom2007 tries to avoid it. "I generally stay away from anything diet ... I just feel like the more 'natural' the foods you eat/drink, even real sugar, the healthier." Member lucifies2girls finds fake sugar just as unsettling. "I don't drink diet soda ... aspartame just seems so artificial to me."

Well, she's right about that; aspartame is definitely artificial!

Interestingly, member meghanmck of the Get Fit Moms board has no problem regularly drinking diet soda, but she doesn't think it's safe to let her kids have it. "I continue to drink my diet coke ...  [but] I wouldn't give [artificial sweeteners] to my kids."

But some do take a much stronger stance against diet soda. Member catherinet on a GardenWeb discussion believes that all "... soda should be outlawed! OK, I'm not really serious, but I think it's a big health issue in this country. I also wouldn't substitute sugar-free sodas for the sugar ones, since I think sugar substitutes have their own set of problems."

No matter how you feel about aspartame and diet soda, it is important to know what you're putting in your body. What exactly are the ingredients in that can of Pepsi or that mug of root beer? Find out what's really lurking in your soft drink. Of course, once you know what you're drinking, you might want to get the lowdown on all those artificial sweeteners, too. Be sure and also check out what health expert Amy Hendel has to say about diet soda. And if you feel like going al naturale for a change, discover 10 simple ways you can cut back on sugar.

What do you think? Do you drink diet soda and use artificial sweeteners? If not, are there other, natural, sweeteners you prefer? Share your thoughts and ideas.

A new study conducted by a recent graduate of the Harvard School of Public Health has found that adolescent girls who view themselves as unpopular are 69% more likely to put on weight than girls who see themselves as more popular. Researchers believe the study helps demonstrate that winning the battle against obesity, which has been on the rise among children as well as adults, is not only about physical health. It’s also about mental health. Unfortunately, there is usually very little that parents can do to increase their child’s popularity or prevent bullying. But parents are still a powerful force in their children’s lives, and they have a large influence on their kids’ self-esteem and ability to manage stress in social situations with their peers. This topic has touched a nerve on the iVillage boards, and members have been quick to respond with suggestions to help kids who are struggling socially and with their weight.

Member 3_lil_monkeys keeps it straightforward by writing, “Keep reminding your [daughter] that she's a wonderful person with a lot of great attributes. Really play up her positives and praise her constantly.” Member mags_66 agrees, “I have told [my daughter] that being different isn’t bad … you shouldn’t have to try to be someone you are not, and if [the other kids] don’t like you, then it’s not worth even talking to those kids.”

Other members offer more specific advice. Member turtletime1 says, “I'd get [your daughter] into some interest-based activities that have their own culture and are known for accepting kids who are different. If the school situation can't be fixed, I'd consider moving her to a new school for the rest of the year. She may do well in an alternative type of school like a charter or magnet. Help her embrace her weirdness. When kids take pride in being different, they are no longer easy targets!” While member weberdns0 suggests reaching out to some of the friendlier girls in the class and organizing play dates outside of school and away from bullies. She also suggests acting out plausible scenarios. “You need to roll play activities on how your daughter will approach problems and bullies. This will help her find ways of dealing with [them]. My son found that humor was eventually the best way to deal with bullies in school.”

Member cl-emmas.mom even recommends a book that she found particularly valuable. “The only thing I can add to this conversation is to say that I found reading Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls to be very insightful … It includes chapters on how to deal with the schools and what to say/not say to help your [daughter].”

Even some teens have joined the conversation. 13-year-old member prudhommejames writes about her struggles, “I get picked on mercifully at school and made fun of because of my weight problem. I want to go on a diet, but I have no one to help me with it.” Member freelancemomma responds, “Could your parents help you with a diet? If not, perhaps a relative or family friend? Talk to your doctor to get started … You're at the most difficult social age. Kids your age can be mercilessly cruel. But it will get better, whether you lose the weight or not. Whatever you do, don't give up. There are marvelous, unique qualities inside you, just like there are in other people. Don't let some extra weight stop you from discovering who you are and from experiencing happiness. I promise you it's within your grasp.”

Is your child having at difficult time at school or with her weight? Did you struggle when you were an adolescent? Share your advice and experiences.

It's definitely time for a staph meeting. The message boards have been buzzing about the recent outbreak of MRSA infections in schools, with most people wondering: How worried should we be, exactly? Is this a "hit panic button now" situation, or more of a "wash your hands often" type thing?

First, a little background: A Virginia high school senior died recently after contracting methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, an antibiotic-resistant staph infection. Since then students in school districts in at least six states have been infected with MRSA, and three of the children have died. Many schools have shut down temporarily for cleaning, since the infection tends to spread fastest in gyms, locker rooms, hospitals, and other places where people tend to share equipment, linens and personal items.

cl-pt40 pointed out on the Getting Fit in Your 40s board that misleading information about the recent outbreaks is spreading like, well, an infection: "A local TV station somehow got the wrong info and reported our school systems as being closed until further notice."

But that doesn't mean the risk isn't real. Staph has hit close to home for several iVillagers, and most seem to be on the mend, thank goodness. cl-lissa_88, for instance, has seen the enemy come a little too close for comfort, writing on the Tone Up Your Body board that "[p]ersonally, this scares me. I had a staph infection on my leg back in February, and we really are unsure how I got it. I've told my kids to really wash their hands and to be careful, but I have to admit, my 4 year old worries me."

And ginaegg, a mom on the January '03 Jitterbugs board, has a brave little patient at home whose experience may raise some red flags for other moms of school-aged kids:

"Poor thing, she just can't win for losing. She showed me a spot on her leg on Saturday night, high on her thigh. 'This spot hurts, Mommy.' I put hydrogen peroxide on it and it was starting to look a little angry, so I dabbed some Bactroban on it. By this afternoon it was a *really pissed off* area -- significantly larger, about as wide as my hand. A friend of mine at church is a RN, I had her look at it and asked, 'ER?' She said, 'No, but definitely an after-hours clinic. That's staph.' The doctor in the AHC agreed that it is most likely CA-MRSA, which they're seeing a lot in children. He wrote her a script for Septra and she has to stay out of school until she's had a full day of antibiotics. :( She **flipped out** when they took a culture of it. That was pretty much hell. So, we're doing warm compresses, warm baths, ibuprofen for pain and will be on antibiotics tomorrow morning. Our hand washing would make Detective Monk proud. :P So, if your kids get a little sore that suddenly flares up REALLY ugly -- hie thee to the doctor **immediately**."

Good advice, ginaegg (and give that little one a big get-well-soon squeeze from Da Village).

It's hard not to feel freaked out when so many stories are written about a scary infectious disease in schools within a week or so. And many more iVillagers are reporting that they've been affected directly or indirectly by MRSA.

But as sparkysarah, a registered nurse who knows whereof she speaks, writes on the Frugal Families board:

"I personally don't stress over these infections. Maintain good handwashing and get any skin wounds that don't improve after a couple of days inspected by a doctor. You can't live your life scared, but it's good to be informed so you know what to look for."

If you're a mom of school-aged kids who's worried about the news, you could also follow the good example of squeeks2001 on the Acne, Eczema and Skin Conditions board, who made sure to talk to her kids about MRSA (and helpfully posted a few visual aids, too).

Has the recent staph outbreak affected you or someone you love? Do you think the media is overreacting, or do you think our schools may be underreacting?

Following the success of its viral video "Evolution", Dove recently launched a new ad that could be a wake-up call to parents everywhere. "Onslaught" features a young girl being bombarded with images from the beauty industry's "ugly side": gyrating dancers, sales pitches for diet pills, a bulimic woman throwing up, cosmetic surgery procedures. And finally, the message: "Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does."

The ad has received thousands of views on YouTube since its launch, and it also had the iVillage boards buzzing as well.

What do iVillagers have to say? Many members, such as miiraclle, applaud Dove for exposing the media’s role in perpetuating an unattainable standard of beauty: “I am glad that the media is being ‘called out’ [for] pushing these unrealistic [beauty] standards and that someone is helping parents help their children love themselves. It is very frustrating trying to keep up with the thin, young and beautiful images you see all around you.”

iVillage moms, especially those with young daughters of their own, such as cl-mom2emandmaddie, found the ad enlightening: “Watching the ad was eye-opening for me. I usually don’t pay attention to [ads from the beauty industry], but I’ve noticed my [daughter] asking me how much she weighs, etc. It makes me pay a lot more attention to what she watches and reads. It reminds me to constantly praise her and let her know her body is beautiful no matter what.” iVillage member littlebird74 agrees: “[The video] is quite disturbing … But I'm glad there is a large corporation that is helping us fight this issue. It made me want to hug my daughter. I don’t want her to ever think she is not good enough.”

Some can’t help wonder, however, if the ad is just a tad hypocritical. Dove itself is part of the beauty industry it attacks (they sell a skin-firming/cellulite-reducing lotion), and its parent company, Unilever, also manufactures Axe (whose commercials feature guys attracting sexy women) and Slim-Fast.

But many iVillagers still feel that the message—not the company behind it—is what’s more important. Says member mikaismommy: “Of course [Dove] will gain from this in a financial manner, but I think the message is the most important [issue]. Women need to accept themselves for who they truly are, and not for what the media portrays. I think that this type of conversation is essential to women of any age. I'm totally for this new awareness of the issues surrounding body image and self image in the media.”

Others, however, were a bit disturbed by Dove's approach. Member sara_ou says: “It seems a little extreme to me. I guess I wasn't raised in front of the TV… because we lived way out in the middle of nowhere. We were outside a lot, we played games, we read books. And my parents always supported us and said that we could be whatever we wanted to be.”

Some iVillage parents, such as cl-cavegirl75, also feel that the ad should have addressed the fact that body image issues affect both girls and boys. “I'm troubled that people seem to ignore that the issue isn't JUST a girl issue. Boys may have lower rates of eating disorders and self-mutilation, but that doesn't mean they're unaffected.” And, as mommasboyz points out, boys can also be part of the problem.

Moms who have struggled with their own body image issues, such as kmattfield, think that aside from the media, a parent’s own behavior can also have a big impact on their daughter’s self-esteem: “Speaking as someone who has dealt with eating disorders for the last 22 years, I think [an ad like this] is well overdue. We are always striving for perfection in our society and it's not going to happen … When I found out my second child was a girl, I cried. Not tears of joy, but frightened tears … I was/am so afraid of my daughter learning this behavior from me.”

And that’s why many iVillagers agree that the campaign tagline asking moms to talk to their daughters about beauty pressures is one that should be heeded. Member carketch says: “Parents should take an active role in building their children’s self-esteem. There is little question that the pervasive marketing of beauty and diet products, and the glamorization of stick-thin celebrities can have a detrimental effect on a little girl's self-image. The child IS going to be exposed to that imagery, we can't stop that. But we can do our best to counteract it, if we talk to them about it.”

What do you think about Dove’s latest ad? Is it effective, or does it go too far? Do you talk to your kids about body issues?

Will using more precise terms to describe a kid's weight issue help docs address the growing problem of childhood obesity? That's the latest recommendation by a panel backed by the American Medical Association. By using the more medically correct term of "obese" when talking to families about this serious health issue, the medical community hopes to get their point across that being overweight is a serious health issue for children of any age. While the announcement admits that seemingly blunt terms may not be right to use in all situations and directly to the child, it does seem that trying to issue warm fuzzies when addressing weight issues isn't always the right approach. What do you think -- is this just calling it like it is and much ado about nothing or is it insensitive to a probably already embarrassed child? For more on this story and related iVillage resources, be sure to check out our featured news page and our new hot topic message board Weight Discrimination.

In related news, Kellogg announced they would be increasing the nutritional value of their popular cereals and snacks -- or stop marketing them to children. (Cereal just can't catch a break lately, it seems!) This comes after pressure from consumer and health advocacy groups ... and rumblings of a lawsuit, of course. The main concern is, again, childhood obesity, but is this marketing really the root of the problem? Most kids I know aren't out buying their own Pop-Tarts. Moms from the October 2006 Playgroup share their thoughts:

"We had ads for junk cereal when I was a kid 25-30 yrs ago. My mom didn't buy the cereal. We also went outside and rode bikes, swam at the pool or in the lake, played 4 square, basketball, tag, & a million other games. We didn't have air conditioning or video games. We weren't allowed to sit on the couch all day! I think all the efforts that are focused on children are a great idea, but pretty useless since they aren't (or at least shouldn't be) the ones making the decisions in their house!"

"While I do definitely think that it's the parents who need the most work when it comes to having healthy kids, the lack of advertising is at least a step in the right direction. It certainly couldn't hurt to stop it."

What do you think? Are you seeing evidence of the childhood obesity problem in your community? What are you doing to avoid it? Are food manufacturers and marketing to blame -- or is this solely a parenting issue?

The near epidemic of childhood obesity has hit the headlines several times in recent weeks, including a recent study that linked pregnancy weight to an increased risk of having an overweight toddler. Even outside of the womb, how do the health habits and weight of the parent affect the child, genetics notwithstanding? On the 100 Pounds or More to Go message board, they're discussing how you may not even have to give birth to your child to have your weight become a factor:

"Not that long ago China changed their adoption laws to exclude foreigners with a BMI of 40 or above. How does that strike you? I found that it really challenged my own perspectives in many areas."

"I don't necessarily think that it is discrimination. Most adoption agencies (both foreign and local) have criteria that prospective parents have to meet, not just weight requirements."

What if it went a step further? cl-pghannie speculates:

"Now, suppose a new law passed saying that child welfare agencies in your country could place children in foster care if their parent or parents had a BMI of over 40?"

What do you think? Is this BMI (body-mass index) restriction discriminatory or a good practice for health concerns? Does this prevent children from finding a loving and stable home with parents who are ready, willing and able? Sound off with your take and share your experiences with us.

Wanna know the REAL INSIDER'S TOP SECRET WAY to stay in shape?!

Well, of course you do, and of course you already know: diet and exercise, exercise and diet, yes, of course, what a snooze. But what about when that just plain doesn't work? Lots of women swear by the Fat Flush diet, which involves juice fasts and detoxing to drop pounds fast. Oprah? Not one of those women.

On the Diet and Fitness Fat Flush board, Variede writes, "Has anyone else read the August edition of The Oprah Magazine? They had experts review six hot diets of today. The Fat Flush did not receive a good review. In fact it goes on to say that the science behind it is sketchy. It also says that weight loss doesn't have to be this complicated."

sl-hoppole shoots back, "In the ideal world we'd all watch what we put in our mouths and never get fat in the first place....but life isn't like that for a lot of us....is it? I was a two time gold Weight Watcher member....each time it all went back and more. I felt a failure...These critics are in a veiled way hinting that it is fat people's own fault they are fat...they are actually saying that fat people are pigs and lazy lumps."

And trust me, it just gets more heated from there.

Would you go on a diet that promised significant weight loss in a matter of days? Do you feel that critics of so-called fad diets are in fact implying that overweight people just need to buck up, that being overweight is their own fault? What has your experience been with Fat Flush or other trendy diets? Do you find it odd that Oprah is on the cover of her own magazine every month? Join the conversation.

You know a thread is going to be good when it begins, “I just have to rant a bit.”

And rant they do – about the extremely rant-worthy topic of women “starving to be thin.” The latest epidemic of skeletal celebs has women starving themselves in imitation, and, most disturbingly, has teens and preteens hating their bodies. We’ve heard it again and again – women, and even (increasingly) little girls, feeling like they have to be Nicole Ritchie-thin (see also: the gruesome cover of this week’s In Touch), which is in no way healthy. (Sorry, Nicole.) The more celebs get crazy-skinny, the harder it will be to figure out “what normal means” – for us and for young girls.

So cl-shywon starts us off: “I have two colleagues/friends who are on this near-starvation diet at the moment, and it's really getting to me. It's really just the one "friend" because she's doing it to lose THREE pounds. THREE!!! She's admitted it's not about health, it's about the number on the scale…. I guess I'm just frustrated at all the pressure there is to be that "right" size or weight.”