Recently in sex Category

While I couldn't pass up a chance to reference Madonna, I also couldn't help but do a double take when I saw this discussion about hymenoplasty on our message boards. What's hymenoplasty, you ask? Well ... simply put it's a surgical procedure that restores the hymen to give a woman the illusion of virginity. No, I'm not kidding. Really. Before you all jump on the "That's CRAZY!" boat, I should also point out that this procedure is often done for women in cultures where the stigma of not being a virgin when married can lead to very dire consequences. It seems that some docs in France are now calling for an end to this practice, as they say it "denigrates women and gives in to Muslim fundamentalism." So beyond a medical procedure, this quickly becomes a tangled mess of policy, society and religion. The take from the Current Debates message board:

"Makes me think of the saying, two wrongs don't make a right. In this case... the family/societal need for virginal women and the shame induced surgery."

"Once you have done the deed once you aren't a virgin anymore. there is no going back."

"...if women have the right to have other forms of plastic surgery, they should have the right to this one. I find it a little scary that the medical community can dictate what medical procedures women can access on the basis of their social opinions."

"It doesn't make you a virgin again, it gives the illusion of virginity. That women feel they have to do that at least borders on tragic, but given that there are still cultures that practice honor killings, I wouldn't dare deny it to someone."

Does this come down to the question of what's worse -- having the surgery or feeling like you have to in the first place? Or is this issue now more about the dictation of medical policy? Let me know what you think and never let it be said that we don't truly cover it all.

While September still has that new-school-year smell to it, I thought we might take a moment to consider an aspect of going back to school that most of us don’t consider until it’s too late: the SAT. No, no, not the college admissions test. Of course I am referring to the dreaded Sexually Active Teen.

So, here’s the situation: one iVillager’s “14 year old daughter just came back from sleepover camp and while doing her laundry and putting her things away, I came across letters that a boy she just met this year and has been friends with sent to her. I was shocked to see the language and to read that they have been having oral sex and vaginal sex. My dilemma is do I tell her I read the letters and I know everything? Should I tell her I read the letters and know everything? I know she will hate me but I am so scared she will get pregnant or get an STD.”

This starts off as a discussion about privacy, and how much privacy a teen living under your roof needs/deserves/ought to have. As kristens_mom points out, “Yes, she might be mad at me, but better that than a mother at 14. Also maybe subconsciously she wanted the letter found, she can still be outraged at the invasion of privacy but it saves face and she's not forced to admit to her parents that she needs help or guidance.”

Other moms second this sentiment.cl-weberdns0 writes, “Sorry......I'm a parent and not a friend.” Who cares if the teen is mad at her mother? The outcome of an open discussion about sex and birth control is worth the passing annoyance.

jaydasmom2002 agrees: “I would also take her to the doctor and get her on birth control and have a talk with her about safe sex. You can't really tell your teenager NOT to have sex, because if they're going to do it then they're going to do it.”

Then a teenaged mother chimes in, offering a unique point of view…read more after the jump.

Does going to a strip club count as cheating? Okay, even if he’s only “there to look,” or swears he just thinks it’s funny, or is simply doing it to go along with the guys… (well, if the guys jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, etc!) if there’s something about him going that makes you feel skeevy, something about the whole sitch that just feels wrong, isn’t that a kind of cheating?

When tink_dharma’s fiancé went to an all-nude (?!) strip club recently... "He got a lap dance from a woman there…I feel so down, I cannot even explain it. He even touched her. I guess I should be glad that he came clean with me, but I feel like he cheated. Isn't that cheating though?”

sdino11234 responds, “I wouldn't say he cheated, just used very poor judgment.” (Need I mention that sdino11234 is a guy?)

intuition_girl0727 says, “Plain and simple he lied before he went and got a lap dance anyway and even groped her!”

twoscoops76 agrees. “Not only did he cheat physically by touching this woman, he is also cheating in his mind and heart, which is just as bad.”

But you know what? I really think ohiob2b's statement takes the cake. "Prior to my H cheating [with a stripper], I was very open to the idea of going to strip clubs with him.”

Youch.

Is getting a lap dance cheating? Is stripping always bad? Would you ever go to a strip club? Are you reading this from a strip club at this very moment? Join the conversation.

Yesterday the FDA approved the morning-after contraception pill, or Plan B. An AP report says, "Women may buy the morning-after pill without a prescription -- but only with proof they're 18 or older, federal health officials ruled Thursday, capping a contentious 3-year effort to ease access to the emergency contraceptive." On the In the News thread, shalom-steph notes, "It is projected that this will reduce unintended pregnancies by up to 80%, which will also reduce abortions. It is a good first step."

Of course the first question that comes up is, well, won't there be pharmacies (ahem, Wal-Marts in the south, mayhaps?) who will refuse to carry the pill?

Dr. Z’s got the mismatched libidos boards fired up again. She writes: “OK, everyone, help out ole Dr. Zoldbrod here. Please help me understand why people (that means you!!) are so afraid to get professional help when things are beginning to look pretty tense in your couple relationship.” Look, Dr. Z. These women aren’t having a whole lot of sex. They might not be in best moods. Don’t provoke them.

Thethinker2day shoots back: “I'm just going to tell it like it is. Plenty of us don't really believe that having taken college courses, earned advanced degrees, even gone through the rigors of residency, training etc. really gives you a whole lot more insight than we might have into our own situations or that we might be able to get by talking to a variety of non-degreed people. I mean, you're at least as good as the next person to ask, but many of us really don't put a lot of stock into your training and experience. Sorry.” (Take that, Dr. Z.) It really is an insightful point -- sex is the kind of thing most women discuss with their closest friends (if anyone!) -- and feels like one of those things that everyone knows about, in one way or another.