Recently in relationships Category
We all know about the common first-date no-nos: being late, talking about exes, talking on your cell phone for most of the meal. But a recent post on the 20-Something Hangout got some members all riled up about one particular dating "don't"—asking about your date’s finances.
Member rebainmi asked: “I had a first date with a guy tonight and somehow we got to talking about the Suze Orman show, 401k, and he [started asking] me questions like ‘What's your credit score?’ and ‘What's your credit limit?’ … Thoughts?
Not surprisingly, more than 90% of poll-taking iVillagers responded that the questions were downright rude, and that rebainmi's financial info is none of the guy’s business. “Asking about your credit score and credit limit is completely inappropriate,” says member u_grad_lady. “He's got some nerve.”
Member smartypantz81 agrees: “I think that is just wrong! I could [understand] if you guys were in a serious relationship and talking about a future together… but on a first date? BUZZER! Maybe he is a gold digger?”
Smartypantsz81 was not the only one questioning the guy’s motives. Member wishful78, who’s had a similar experience, says: “I had a first date similar to yours and he went as far as to ask me how much money I make annually. I didn't tell him, of course. I [found] out later that he had horrible credit and was filing bankruptcy against his credit cards… I'm not dumb and I knew what he was after. You ain't living off of me buddy! ”
Member completelyuncalled4 offers some additional insight--and a warning: “He probably asks that of all his first dates… He's ‘fishing’ for something, probably some woman with good credit that he can use in the long run to co-sign for things like a cell phone, a car, etc. You might think 'It won't be me' now, but when you deal with a professional manipulator, you never see it coming until it's too late.”
Some iVillagers, such as loriannedz, however, were willing to give the nosey date the benefit of the doubt: “I personally would never ask someone this kind of stuff even after the 10th date … [but] maybe he was just nervous and trying to make conversation and since the topic of the evening was finances and mortgages, he thought, for some reason, it would be appropriate to ask that.”
Rebainmi (the original poster), ended up not answering her date’s prying questions but she did come to an important realization at the end of the night: “I hate dating.”
Share your thoughts on this awkward dating situation. What would you have said? And share your own first-date turn-offs and tales of first dates gone wrong.
Member katrina789 recently had to vent on the Relationships in Our 20s board when her boyfriend suggested (albeit drunkenly) that he was better looking than her. Gasp! iVillage members, as always, gave katrina789 some great advice. Member ajiamarillo said it best when she reassured her by saying, "just because his head is inflated doesn't mean you're any less [beautiful]". So true, ajiamarillo, so true.
The post, however, reminded me of a TIME article published back in April about "interfacial relationships", when one person is noticeably more attractive than their significant other. Now, this is not something new. We've seen the Donald/Melania Trump and Salman Rushdie/Padma Lakshmi pairings of the world. But why do people think that the hot guy/not-so-hot girl combo is so... strange? It's perfectly normal for girls to marry guys for their financial status, but guys can't like girls purely for their... um, humor and wit?
Tell us your stories! Have you ever dated someone hotter than you? Does your S.O think he's the hot one in the relationship?
