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Should an Army specialist (and single mom) be punished for missing her deployment flight to Afghanistan in order to care for her 10-month-old son? That's what might happen to Alexis Hutchinson.

Hutchinson, 21, was arrested at Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, GA for missing the flight, and was briefly jailed. Her attorney stated that Hutchinson refused her orders when her only family—her mother—became unable to care for the child while she was away. A superior officer allegedly told Hutchinson that she would have to deploy anyway and that her son would be put into foster care.

Our Military Wives board has been buzzing about this story. Most expressed compassion for Hutchinson's situation, but some thought that she should deploy anyway.

Here's a sampling of their comments:

"She wasn't trying to get out of a deployment. She had a care plan. It fell through and she needed time to figure out another one. Telling her she has to deploy on schedule and that her child will go into foster care is asinine."
—cl-amermae

"The soldier simply asked for more time to find someone to care for her child. Who knows why the baby's father can't or won't care for the child? Maybe he's unable to or unfit. She needs to be given more time and not be charged with anything. She wasn't trying to get out of deploying and she didn't go AWOL. She remained at her base trying to find care for her child.

"I say give her a break. She wasn't trying to avoid duty. She just needed a little extra time to fulfill her obligations to her child and to the Army."
—t09w

"There are single moms (and probably dads) out there who use kids as an excuse to never deploy. I see a lot of ridiculous waivers for guys on my husband's ship that allow them out of deployments. However, I think this case might be different. The article states that the grandma took the baby in October for two weeks and this is when she told her daughter she could not handle the situation. Up until that point, I think the daughter thought she had a care plan in place. If her commander did tell her [that her child might go into foster care], then someone needs to really look at that situation. You cannot tell a mother something like that and then expect her to just hand her kid over. I hope they really check all the facts in this one before they bring a judgment here."
—momranhan

"This is a very sad situation. She should have never joined the military if she did not have several relatives or friends who would step up and help her during a deployment. My husband was in charge of compiling the SRP (soldiers readiness processing) plans for his unit. There had to be indications of her irresponsibility prior to this. 'At risk' soldiers should be identified and calls should be made well in advance of deployments to verify that the soldier has a real plan.

"The bottom line is that she has got to go. No excuses."
—debtfreefirstofficer

"I think that the Army was wrong to force her to deploy without a proper care plan for her child. I know Brad has to fill out a mountain of paperwork and risk assessments just to take a weekend of leave, so you would think they would require the proper paperwork in this situation.

"I do, however, think that it was her responsibility to figure something out in this situation. Most deployments these days are announced far enough in advance that you can take care of stuff like this. I know that her mother said she would take care of the baby, but then later in the article she talks about her mother being ill and caring for other ill family members. Shouldn't that have been a warning sign earlier on that she wouldn't be able to care for the baby?"
—bradsarmybride

Compiled by Laura Motta

Do you think Hutchinson should be punished—or forced to deploy? Or do you think the Army should give her a break? Share your comments below.

President Barack Obama shares how he and his wife Michelle balance work and family responsibilities, and offers some advice to new husbands on how to "negotiate" changing family roles.

 

Are you and your partner still "negotiating" your familial roles? For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

If you find yourself searching for that perfect one-of-a-kind gift for a child's upcoming birthday, have we got just the thing for you! Forget those dolls that say "mama" or require diaper changes, how about one that your child can use to mimic breastfeeding? It's nothing new that little tykes often mimic their mothers who breastfeed, often trying to place stuffed animals or baby dolls to their chests in an attempt to "feed" them, but a Spanish toy company has created a doll that takes this all one step further. Berujan's "Bebe Gloton" is designed to promote breastfeeding as a natural part of motherhood, but some wonder if it's a little over the top. Bebe Gloton comes complete with a tie on "apron" for your child to wear -- the bra-like top has flower-like "nipples" to activate the doll's sucking sounds and movements. While we're all for breastfeeding, some in the iVillage community agree that the doll may veer too much into the "weird" department:

That is taking things a little too far. I will be glad if that thing never hits the US. I don't have any problem with breastfeeding, heck I'll do it right there in front of anyone. But it is not right to go to such lengths with dolls. It should all start at home.  -- angelbabies2008

Very weird! I wouldn't buy it and I would not want it as a gift either. -- xmansmama4l

I'm definitely pro-breastfeeding but it is sort of strange. I could understand not wanting to supply every baby sold at Walmart with a plastic bottle to come with it (having little girls make the connection of baby = bottle). -- eseirup

The bra thing kind of weirds me out a little... but then again, I really don't like dolls that 'DO' much of anything. I've had to do a lot of searching on the toy shelves to find a doll that doesn't talk/cry/pee/poop/move/etc. I much prefer that [my daughter] uses her imagination instead.  -- caremore37

One word: creepy. I understand the concept, it's just a little much. I would not buy something like this. -- tryin2understand

Other moms applaud the idea and might be potential buyers if the doll becomes available outside of Spain:

I think it's great! If they end up selling it in Canada, I'll for sure buy it. It's cute, and I love the whole concept. -- asheo

I think it is great that there is finally a doll that doesn't come equipped with a bottle or a pacifier. My kiddo breastfeeds his stuffed animals though so I do not see a point in purchasing it, other than simply supporting the idea but anything that promotes breastfeeding as normal in our society is a good thing.  -- lovemymunkaman

iVillager cathimac's comment sums up what many are saying about Bebe Gloton:

Remember the days when you could just strip down and walk around naked like it was no big deal? No, I'm not talking about your college experience or the trip you took to that music festival, I mean the uninhibited freedom of being a toddler! Ok, maybe the memories are fuzzy now, but it's no secret that there are some kids that just love to spend their days in the buff.  A lot of moms use this to their advantage during the potty training stage, but when do baby bums strutting around the house (and beyond) become a no-no? A recent article from the New York Times takes a peek at how some parents deal with their children's penchant for nudity -- and the reactions that it can elicit from family and friends.

The topic of nudity and kids has also been a subject of debate on our message boards, from concerns over "how old is too old?" and whether nudity in children is more acceptable for boys than girls. Some moms share their observations:

I think you will be able to tell when your child is becoming conscious of their body and is embarrassed by what you are doing. As for Jacob, he would be content to run around naked outside and in public all day - I have trouble keeping clothes on him.  -- cl-babyjakes

I think that once kids start walking, being naked in public isn't OK anymore. Aside from the quick diaper change, that is. I usually try to keep [my daughter] out of eyesight when I have to change her in public, too. And even when we are at home and she wants to go to the back yard naked or in her panties I make her put clothes on. -- bellabunnysmama

[My son] spends a lot of time naked due to [potty training], but when someone comes over that isn't a very close friend, we put something on him. In ones home is completely different than in public imho. -- christinaone

 . 
Since it is beach and pool season, some moms are also concerned about privacy, as tots often make any beach a nude beach. This iVillager makes an interesting point about a more public world:

I see little ones buck naked on the beach all the time, I think if my kids were babies again, I would not do it in a public beach.  Home in the backyard yes! We didn't grow up with YouTube or electronic porn, so now you have to be proactive in protecting yourself.  -- michiganmotormom

Another mom shares her "been there, done that" experience:

All I can say is that it is a good thing that I don't have a problem with small children being naked.  [My daughter], at age 3, stripped naked at a friend's birthday party because they had a kiddie pool there and she didn't have a swimsuit. 

That said, I have had to make a rule about them being naked in the backyard.  I think [my daughter] was about 7 years old when I started telling her not to be naked in the backyard, but really got firm about it by the time she was 8. She's completely comfortable in her own skin and just has no idea that anyone could look at her in an inappropriate way but certainly, at age 9, it's more than time for her to start understanding modesty. -- elisedf

The seemingly simple act of being naked brings up a lot of questions in the parenting realm -- namely, how do we encourage our kids to be comfortable with their bodies while protecting their privacy and making sure they don't perform their latest striptease in the middle of the mall food court? Are we as a society too freaked out by nudity in general? We'd love to hear your thoughts on these little streakers -- especially if you have one at home! Do you think it's something to worry about or really no big deal?

Last fall we saw a lot of confusion and concern over the chemical BPA, its inclusion in plastic items like baby bottles and other children's products and the FDA's conflicting advice about its safety. Last week the largest manufacturers of baby bottles in the US announced that they will stop selling bottles that contain bisphenol-A, a chemical that is used to harden plastics. Our Expecting Club and Playgroup moms react to the news:

 

 "I've noticed many bottles stamped BPA free. There also seems to be a LOT of glass bottles out that I don't remember seeing before." -- gapeachpc

"Last year when the scandal came out a lot of companies were super fast to respond to the new demand for the BPA-free bottles. Babies R Us wouldn't even carry bottles that contained it. I think it's great that companies are really taking stuff like this seriously."  -- eeyorezchick 

"I wonder if other brands in other countries will follow as well. I was in Switzerland last July and watching a consumer rights show and there was something about baby bottles, and not a SINGLE one available on the market in Switzerland is Bisphenol free! The only one that passed the test were glass bottles but glass isn't always convenient to carry around." -- cynhaller

"With my daughter there was no mention about BPA, so we have regular Avent bottles. But that was 2 1/2 years ago and I personally feel better with the BPA-free bottles. I just don't want to take any chances." -- laurspt01

Some moms, though, are wondering how we've survived so far using plastics with the now-verboten chemical. Are we being overly-cautious or better safe than sorry? Sound off here and let us know how concerned you are about plastics and chemicals in your home. 

Related content:

Controversial Chemical Lingers in Body
Message board: Bottlefeeding

One Ohio mom took the concept of "doing it all" to the extreme last week: breastfeeding her baby while talking on her cell phone as she drove her other kids to school. Local police cited her for violating child restraint laws and child endangerment, but Genine Compton of Dayton says she'd do it again if she felt it was necessary! Of course iVillage moms had a lot to say about this story but mrst_plus_nute from the September 2008 Playgroup offered up my favorite quote:

"I follow the 'Britney Spears' rule as I call it, which basically means if it sounds similar to something she has done then I'm not doing it!"

For more chatter on this outrageous parenting stunt, join us on the Breastmilk vs. Formula Debate message board.

It's often said that education is a good investment, but with budget cuts happening at steady pace in light of the economic turmoil, many are wondering when our schools, teachers and students will find relief. Recently the Frugal Families community discussed a proposal in Florida that would allow districts to shorten the school week to four days in an effort to save operating costs. Saving money is one thing, but how does this impact the children and their families? These moms offer their reactions:

"As it is, there are all sorts of other budget cuts, but this possible new schedule is beginning to flash in neon lights. The kids are in school about 6 hours a day ,if the 4 day schedule goes through they would be in school an additional 1 hour and 15 minutes."  -- jennebryan

"I could see how this could cause huge problems for families that don't have the flexibility that we have. It could be a drain on finances and add stress to those that need to arrange child care. I don't have a problem with it, but I also think if changes like that are to be implemented, more after-school care needs to be provided or employers need to pick up the slack. We need to improve that sector of American society." -- kw135705

"Parents are going to need to find child care. The kids who are older have more time to get into trouble. There are kids hanging [out] with nothing to do. My kids would probably just veg but some kids would be home alone. It can only be a bad thing. -- lisa19712003

"As a teacher, I am not in favor of it. My day is already long enough, and I don't know how I would get through the additional hour or two everyday. I give my students my all for 5 hours a day (plus I have 2 hours of planning/duty), and it would be very difficult to provide meaningful instruction for an additional 1-2 hours a day. I also believe my students (low level) would have trouble focusing and learning.  I believe it's the students who will suffer in the end.  Anyone who lives in this state knows that we need to ADD money, resources, and programs - not take away." -- lovingmytwoboys

"Moving to a 4 day week bothers me a lot. The day would be way too long for elementary kids. Plus, that is a huge burden on parents who work. Where are they supposed to find all day care for their kids just on Fridays? How is a working class parent supposed to pay for that?" -- addieandclairesmom

 

While some iVillagers are mystified about how the stimulus package recently signed by President Obama will work, the US auto industry is looking for more assistance as the economic outlook continues to be bleak. But GM and Chrysler will have a little competition in the bailout department because there's someone else who's also seeking a little help to get by: none other than Nadya "Octomom" Suleman. The now-infamous mom of 14 (including the octuplets born January 26) is ready to accept donations from the public on her website. It's no surprise that the story of the octuplets, the circumstances of their conception, Suleman's existing number of children, her uncanny resemblance to Angelina Jolie and a multitude of other angles to this story have caused an uproar across our community, but the question of who is paying for all of this has tipped some over the edge into disbelief and outrage. iVillagers from the Debt Support Group (where we may see Suleman posting someday soon...) weigh in on whether or not they would donate to the Octomom fund:

"Never in a million years! I feel awful for those children of hers because there is no way that a single parent can provide the love, support, psychological/physiological needs that those children need. I'm sorry to say, the taxpayers of California where she lives will have to pick up the bill like they probably have started to already, seeing the cost of having those kids is in the millions."  -- lulu1231

 

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