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It's no secret that the poor economy is doing a number on most all of us -- but after years of struggling for equality in the workplace, the realization that women are suffering from layoffs, downsizing, outsourcing and poor wages in much the same way as men is disheartening. What's more concerning is that according to a recent study from the Joint Economic Committee of Congress women are also dropping out of the workforce as a response to these tough times.  While some women have opted to stay at home to raise the kids or for other family reasons, the study showed that many are taking a break from work because they are unable to find jobs comparable to the ones they've lost, impacting not only their bottom line, but likely their emotional well-being, too.

Throughout the iVillage community we are seeing women struggle with the choice of working to earn money for their family -- or staying at home to avoid the rising cost of childcare.  This has definitely been a hot topic on our Stay at Home vs. Work debate message board, where some moms are saying the income from their jobs and the price of daycare is practically a wash. Member mm05 offers some details:

"In June I quit my job. After returning to work from [maternity] leave and having to pay $600 every two weeks for 3 children, I said NO WAY! My pay cheque was only $645-$650 every 2 weeks. That left me with $50. It made absolutly no sense."

In a recent poll, 56% of iVillage users felt that childcare should be a benefit offered by employers.

In other cases, we're seeing women from our communities decide to go back to work -- even if only part-time, to help the family's bottom line.

How are you coping with the poor economy -- both financially and emotionally? Have you suffered from a layoff or pay cut -- or are you sensing your job is in jeopardy? 

While the Notorious B.I.G. may have sang about "Mo' Money, Mo' Problems", I am not so sure the rest of us are feeling like more money would be such a problem right about now. Consumer confidence is at its lowest in several years and the general outlook on the economic future for most people seems dismal thanks to rising food and gas prices, inflation, a sluggish job market and the ongoing housing crisis. Housing prices have bottomed out in many cities across the US and now the Illinois attorney general has filed a suit against embattled lender Countrywide alleging that the company engaged in "unfair and deceptive" practices that resulted in many homeowners taking out risky mortgages beyond what they could realistically afford. Some have countered that everyone has their own personal responsibility to borrow responsibly, but others wonder if lending companies and the glut of easy credit card offers are only preying on desperate consumers. On the In the News message board, this debate is in full swing, with even a few great tips and not-so-obvious facts about credit thrown in. rtmom07 sees both sides of the debate, saying:

"...the ultimate responsibility lands with those who take out those mortgages, or use the credit cards. However, I stick with my vulture analogy - they don't necessarily kill the animal - but once it is down, they pick at it mercilessly." 

Regardless of where the fault lies, the fact is many people are feeling the squeeze of financial strain and those that were already in trouble are sometimes having to make really tough choices.  And we're not just talking about foregoing the daily latte at Starbucks or skipping movie night. iVillagers are struggling to make ends meet and cover basic necessities due to cost of living increases, job loss and stagnant wages.

  

The Cost of Health 

On our Migraines and Headaches message board, ifrog7 is suffering from migraines, but cringes at the thought of an increased dosage in her medicine: 

"I called my Neuro, he wants to see me tomorrow at 8am. I am sure he will want to up my Topamax from 300 to 400. Which I can't afford to buy." 

Others are finding themselves in the same situation -- unable to afford the treatments that they need to even be able to continue their normal routines. Several on the Antidepressant Medication message board are finding that even with insurance, the co-pays alone can be difficult to manage.    

 

Financing Fido: Pets or Fuel?

As much as our pets are part of the family, they are an added expense and when push comes to shove, are they too much on the household budget? The ladies on the Family Fitness board are discussing several recent articles about an increase of animals being taken to shelters due to owners' inability to pay for their care. Most couldn't imagine giving up their furry companions, but ginger.cookie offers another point of view:

"Sadly, I think it's a lot more complicated than just either/or.  Hopefully people would make cuts where they can before resorting to giving up on pets, but one can only cut so much."

 

Wedding Bill Blues

It's no secret that weddings are big business -- and a big chunk out of the wallet for most. Even simple ones can rack up hefty bills. Brides on our 2008 and 2009 Weddings communities are talking about how they'll be able to afford a celebration without straining their bank accounts. cl-liamattra is worried about how travel costs will impact her guests, but has come up with a few ideas: 

"I think we're going to talk to all of our out of town guests, and see if we can't plan some sort of carpool for the trip. Even if we only get four to a car, that's still saving quite a bit of money. For those who might have to fly, or want to fly, we plan on monitoring the airlines for seat sales, so we can let them know when a deal comes up. It seems like the least we can do for our family and friends who want to be here."   

 

Cutting Back 

With all the misery that seems to be out there, there is some hint of a silver lining. We've seen a lot of interesting tips and sharing of ideas from a ton of users on how they're managing in tough times. libraone asks the In the News crowd, "What are you cutting back on to cope with rising prices? " and received a lot of interesting replies. While most haven't found the need to take any drastic measures just yet, people consistently are cutting back on their entertainment, minimizing their driving time and retooling their grocery lists. We obviously have seen a ton of sticker shock at the gas pumps, and now we're really starting to see that fuel price impact other goods.

 

Not-so-expensive Tastes 

You may be able to cut back on your entertainment budget, luxury items or even how much you drive, but everyone needs to eat. So how are iVillagers minding their money at the supermarket? We recently highlighted some great tips from our users on how to save money at the grocery store and in the past several weeks, we've seen hundreds more being posted as everyone is looking to get and share their advice on what works for them -- and what doesn't. On the Budgeting message board, melz128 lets us in on her food bill secrets; while on the Frugal Living board many are noticing their eating habits are actually changing, with several users reporting that expensive convenience foods and meat have been the first to go. For those that aren't willing to give up meat just yet, GardenWeb's Cooking forum offers up some tips for buying local and in bulk to save money.

On the Cooking 101 message board, cl-k_roni asks: "My question of the day is...how can $195 in groceries only take 4 trips from car to kitchen?" Of course she also shares some of her grocery list and some interesting price comparisons. In the same discussion, tallgirlcolo relates what she's doing differently:

"As for groceries, I have almost completely stopped shopping at the health-food stores and I have really cut back on what I buy at the regular store. I only buy certain things on sale (chicken breasts, seafood, frozen blueberries, fresh fruit) and I am becoming a madwoman with the weekly grocery circulars. I will hit all three major stores to save money on whatever they have on sale.

I am also making more one-pot or one-dish meals with leftovers in mind. I'm trying to stretch ingredients into more meals. "

 

Finally, no matter how dire the situation, I can usually find at least one member who can find the humor in it all. This time it's a quote from happysj56 on our 100 Pounds or More to Go community, in a discussion about rising gas prices and saving money she relates:

"I live in the city so already walk most places.  I'm telling everyone that I'm afraid the price of shoe leather is going up, so I'm stocking up on shoes - every time I go to Marshall's, I buy another pair!"

Well that's one way to justify a shoe habit.

How is the current state of the economy affecting you? Are you feeling the pinch and cutting back? Do you feel you'll have to make some tough decisions in order to keep your budget afloat? Chime in and share your story -- as well as what you're doing to get by.  

There's nothing like a little controversy over teen pregnancy to get the iVillage community buzzing with their reaction -- just look at our coverage of sex ed, teen maternity leave and middle school birth control. The latest story that has our members shocked and outraged is the report that a sharp increase in the teen pregnancy rate for one Massachusetts town may have resulted from a "pregnancy pact" among girls who vowed to get pregnant together. Even though the town officials are now backing away from this story, there has been a firestorm of disbelief and attempts at explaining what most would argue to be a baffling choice (to say the least...) for the girls, many 16 and younger. Whether or not there is any truth to the story of the pact, the notion of teen girls getting pregnant on purpose (and the general concern over teen pregnancy rates) has iVillage message boards such as In the News and Current Debates in a frenzy. Recently the Troubled Teens board also wrestled with this issue and the alarming attitudes teens had about pregnancy epidemics in their own towns.

Many are wondering what on Earth a young girl would be thinking and the whereabouts of the parents. iVillager poppigirl06 from the June 2006 Playgroup echoes the sentiments of many on our boards, saying:

"Wow! Where are these girls parents'? The school and community are talking about making contraceptives available but where are the girls' parents in all of this?!"

On our Pregnant After a Loss message board wannabesteph shares her concerns:

"I agree these girls must not have much in the way of parental guidance, or who knows - maybe they do and this is just the new "in" thing to do. When I was in high school it was smoking cigarettes, kwim? Is this the new cool thing? Scares the crap out of me especially since I have a daughter (actually almost TWO!) that I hope and pray I can raise to be responsible adults and fight the urge to follow the pact."

candybonesx from the September 2008 Expecting Club offers a different perspective on the issue of parental involvement and I think she may have a point here:

"Maybe I am a little biased because I'm a pregnant teen. But it's kind of dumb to ask where their mothers are. I didn't ask my mom for permission to have sex and I'm sure you don't either."

Touché.

In an effort to explain what would drive a child to want a child, hightopsfrom the Trying to Conceive - 6+ months messsage board offers:

"The girls did it because it is the one thing they can control in their lives. You have a baby, you get an apartment and checks and foodstamps, etc. So, it probably looked like a good deal to them."

navygal06 from the Military Wives community chimes in on a similar discussion:

"I have a friend who volunteers at the crisis pregnancy center. The majority of pregnancy tests they perform are on teenage girls who are trying to have a baby. The usual response they give when asked why is either "to have someone to love" or "so my boyfriend won't leave me"."

The September 2008 Expecting Club gals had several more great quotes on the topic, witness:

From mom_camilled: "And you know who's going to end up paying for all of those babies? Not the father! All of the taxpayers. How stupid can you be to purposely get pregnant like that?"

From sungoddessoxox: "It really does seem to be an "epidemic" of sorts. My sister is 19 and I would say that between 10-15 or her girl friends either have babies or are pregnant (not to mention the ones who are trying for one). Most of her friends had them or got pregnant at much younger than 19 though. Mostly 15-17. I mean if you really stop to think about it...that's a LOT of girls in high school with babies."

And while some are pointing fingers at movies like Juno for glamorizing teen pregnancy, thistlemchays (also a September 2008 expecting mom) objects:

"I guess what sticks out here, to me, is that they are blaming the movie "Juno" as one possible influence on these girls to get PG at such a young age. I have heard this before, in reference to the "teen PG epidemic" of late. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't think "Juno" glamorized teen pregnancy in any way at all. Have you seen the movie? I found it to be kind of sad, actually ... It always puzzles me when I see the movie being blamed for teens getting PG because I just didn't see anything glamorous about it at all. "

mama_lah from the March 2007 Playgroup concurs:

"Wow....I am seriously a little speechless.... no wait here it goes. First of all I think it is ridiculous to say that movies like Juno or Knocked up made being pregnant look glamorous."

Of course for all the speculating on the who, what and whys of the situation, the fact remains that the small New England town of Gloucester will be experiencing a teen baby boom in the coming months, and if the pact scenario is true, there may not have been much that could have been done to prevent it. While parents, school officials and experts are lamenting over preventing more teen pregnancies, it will be interesting to see how the community changes, for better or worse, and how these young mothers will be received, if not supported, after a furor of media scrutiny over the past several days.

What do you think? Is there any one specific thing to blame for teen pregnancy rates climbing in some local communities? Are we doing a poor job of educating and offering our teens other options? Share your thoughts and comments on this story with us. 

It’s no secret that thin is in, and overweight people have long felt condemned because of their size. Now, a new study from Yale University confirms that weight discrimination, or “fatism,” is indeed rampant in America. The researchers found that discrimination based on weight occurs frequently in both professional and social settings.

Not surprisingly, the study opened a floodgate of perspectives and emotions within the iVillage community. Many members welcomed a scientific acknowledgement that the discrimination they feel in their daily lives is not a figment of their imagination. Member ladyirish317 shared her experience, “People who wouldn't dream of putting me down for my religion, age or gender think nothing of trampling on me for my weight … I had a little girl tell me once, ‘You're not my friend; you're fat!’ Guys in cars have sped past me yelling insults. Once a boy on a city bus leaned out of the window and shouted at me that I should lose weight because ‘You really are ugly.’ I've been turned down for jobs because of my weight, too, though it's never phrased that way.” Another member, mom_rileymm, who has been thin as well as heavy, agreed. “I do notice a difference in how people treat me; it is night and day. One time I got a flat tire, and I had 4 people stop and help. Another time I was crying waiting for AAA for 45 minutes on the side of the road without a single person stopping. Guess what? The second time I was heavy.” Interestingly, mom_rileymm goes on to admit that not only has she experienced weight discrimination, but she herself has also judged overweight people harshly, “And I have to say that I’m even guilty of [weight discrimination, too] when I’m skinny.”

But she’s not the only one. Many members say that they look at heavy people differently than thin people. While member upanddownunder believes that cruelty towards overweight people is wrong in a social environment, she believes that sometimes employers should consider a potential hire’s weight. “In the job market there are definitely grounds for discriminating against fat people, and by that I mean obese people. There are many health problems related to obesity, which can mean that a fat person will need to take time off work or be unable to do their job to the highest level—putting a strain on the employer's business.”

Member jenl703 writes that she also judges people by their size. “I will admit that I DO judge people before I know them based on their appearance (weight, cleanliness and clothes). I am not proud of it, but I know I do it. I have many friends who are very overweight, and it doesn't bother me with them at all.... I don't even notice it. However, if I see someone I don't know and notice that they are very overweight, my first thought is that they probably eat the wrong food and don't exercise.” Several members acknowledged that, like jenl703, they have heavyset friends who they’d never judge, but they don’t hesitate to be critical of overweight strangers. Member esita writes, “I do get annoyed when I see someone who is obviously overweight, gorging on greasy takeaway. I get annoyed when a fat person sits next to me on the train, and I'm squished against the window … I certainly don't hate fat people. I mean, I have a couple 'fat' friends. I don't see them as fat, though. I just see them as my friends.”

Weight discrimination appears to be acceptable in part because many believe that heavy people are choosing to be fat. Member leeya98 says, “I think it sucks that someone could potentially not get hired because of her weight, but like my grandmother used to say, ‘Don’t give people a stick to crack you over the head with!’ Very few people that struggle with weight do so because of medical conditions; usually, it’s a choice!” Member lv2breathe feels similarly, “It is something you can do something about, and it's a reflection of your values and lifestyle. It can be a reflection of eating too much and not exercising. These things aren’t appealing and so no one should be surprised if others don't react positively to them [because they are unfit].” Member mama_lah, however, disagrees. “I totally think that there’s a huge problem with weight-ism in America. I am overweight, and … I think the thing people need to understand is that people don't want to be overweight. It is an eating disorder, just like anorexia or bulimia.”

What do you think? Do you believe that weight discrimination is a problem? Have you experienced it or seen it  happen to someone else? Share your thoughts.

News that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has spent thousands of dollars on a high-priced prostitution service had the iVillage message boards buzzing with expressions of shock, outrage and disappointment.

Now, there's another revelation that has the community talking: "new" New York governor David Paterson admits he had marital affairs with several women, one a state employee.

Spitzer's Successor: Also a Cheater?

Gov. David Paterson's confession came a day after he took over from former Gov. Eliot Spitzer. Paterson said the affairs happened during a rough patch in his marriage, and that the employee did not work for him. He insisted that no campaign or state money was spent on the affairs.

An Beehive commenter has this to say: "Watching this thing unfold I'm beginning to think that ALL men cheat. But why? Why marry the woman, pledge to her your faithfulness and then cheat?" But cl-nwtreehugger think more people should applaud Gov. Paterson and his wife: "This couple learned from their mistakes. They went for counseling and saved their marriage."

Member mkatherine thinks he did the right thing by admitting his affairs: "I think he did the smart thing... admit to what happened and get it done with. He didn't abuse power, he didn't break any laws, he had a difficult marriage and they both went astray and found their way back."

Honesty may be the best policy in the new governor's case, but if you cheated would you tell your significant other even if the admission tears you apart?

Reactions to the Spitzer Scandal

The whole scandal still leaves a bad taste in many iVillagers' mouths. Members, such as raskolnikov_pliskin, have harsh words for the former governor—a staunch advocate of ethics reform—calling him a disgrace and a hypocrite. "I hope he is prosecuted for breaking the law and has to live with the consequences like any other John." Member susandoris also expresses her disappointment over the actions of Spitzer, a 48-year-old married man with three teenage daughters: "I'm sad for his family and disappointed by his own lack of responsibility towards me and all New Yorkers."

Members are also commenting on the governor's wife, Silda Wall Spitzer. Her appearance by her husband's side as he made his apology on Monday launched dozens of conversations. Why is she there? Should she be there? Several members, such as navygal06, don't think she should be at her husband's side. "I don't see how you could stand next to your husband while he apologizes for cheating on his family. In reality he's really only sorry because he got caught."

Member pamela.r.simpson also wonders why Sptizer's wife is standing by him. "I just wonder why political wives go along with it so consistently ... to save her [husband's] career, I suppose. Only, I wonder why there aren't more wives who decide that hubby—and his career—can go jump in the lake at that point."

Why do betrayed political wives stand by their man? Member fallenstar2005 thinks it's part of the "business arrangement" that constitutes most political marriages: "It's supposed to be sort of subliminal. See? He isn't so bad. His spouse is still supporting him. If she can forgive him why can't the voters? I really don't know how the spouses stand up to the pressure." She adds: "Actually, I do. When you first find out you have been betrayed, you are enveloped in a numbing confusion. My husband confessed to me on the morning of my son's graduation. I had to sit next to the man I loved and hated more than anything else in the world and deal with friends and family and the appearance of a normal happy event. You become numb. You know you are in no state to make any decisions, yet, and you just live minute by minute. It's horrible."

cl-vahalla31z from the Betrayed Spouses board says she would give Silda Wall Spitzer the same advice she gives on the support group: "[I'll tell her] to make sure she is putting herself and her children first. To think about what she wants out of life, a partner, and a marriage, and then look at her husband to see if she believes he is willing and able to give that to he. If she wants to remain married, then she should be looking to see if he is showing true remorse for the pain he has caused her, if he is taking full and complete responsibility for his choice to cheat, if he is showing through his actions that he will make changes in himself and his lifestyle, and that he will put in a lot of effort into working on the marriage."

Share you thoughts on the governor's resignation and fall from power. Should his wife Silda stand by him? Leave your comments below and watch the video: what to tell your children when a parent cheats.

Homeschooling has always been a hot topic in the iVillage community, but a recent California Court of Appeal ruling that says parents now need teaching credentials to homeschool their kids really had the message boards buzzing.

The ruling—which would make California the strictest on homeschooling—stemmed from a case involving a Los Angeles-area couple who homeschooled their eight children. One of the children claimed the father was physically abusive.

Not surprisingly, many iVillagers and homeschool advocates, such as member summerbaby99 are angry about the ruling, calling it flat-out wrong: "This is wrong on so many levels, I just can't believe that a judge, let alone a panel of three judges, have come to this decision. I fail to see how having a child taught by a credentialed teacher would protect them from abuse."

Member is_it_christmas_yet from the December 2006 Playgroup agrees, calling the ruling ridiculous: "Personally, I find it completely offensive that any state would force a parent to have a teaching certificate to teach their OWN child. What's next? A [psychology] degree before you can counsel your kid? A medical degree before you can stick on a Band-Aid? I would petition this law, and I would move if I had to. It's ridiculous to think that teachers know the best way to teach ... No one is better equipped to make decisions on a child than that child's parents."

Does the ruling actually intrude on parental rights? Many seem to think so. leoandnatesmom from the March 2006 Playgroup says: "People who choose to homeschool do so because some aspect of the public school system does not meet their needs. Maybe it is substance and maybe it is the quality of the teachers or the environment or some combination of these and many other factors. To require these parents to have the same credentials as public school teachers, which I presume is cost-prohibitive, is akin to outlawing homeschooling... On a more fundamental level, private school teachers don't have to have teaching degrees, so why should parents who homeschool?"

Some iVillagers, however, such as certified teacher dcnanny, agree with the ruling: "I have often wondered about so many children being homeschooled by parents who are wonderfully well-intentioned and loving, but not up to the challenge that is an inherent part of strong teaching. I worry about the rigor of home programs, I worry about the socialization, I worry about lags that students have shown when they come into my very own classroom after being homeschooled."

Member addieandclairesmom from the January 2007 Playgroup see the benefit in having standards (though not necessarily teaching credentials) followed for homeschooling: "I do support standards for homeschooled kids, making sure they are learning what they are supposed to [be learning] ... Despite the best intentions of homeschooling, parents just aren't capable of teaching their children. Sad but true. As a teacher, I've seen kids come back to public school after being homeschooled. Some have been ahead academically but a few were way behind. No parent sets out to do a bad job homeschooling, but it happens. I'm sure most homeschooling parents do their research, but some dont. And really, if you're not a teacher, how would you know what math skills a third-grader is supposed to know? If you dont research it to find out, or use a preplanned curriculum, how would you know?"

What are your thoughts on this issue? Do you think parents need teaching credentials to homeschool their children? Leave your commments below.

Over the last few weeks the iVillage community has been buzzing quite a bit about teen pregnancy and it's not too surprising that this topic is on the minds of iVillagers, as teen pregnancy rates are on the rise. News of teen star Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy is also sparking fears that there will only be more teens following in her footsteps, as is the film Juno, which some fear portrays the idea of a pregnant teen as cool.

In several of our message board communities moms are talking about a recent move in Denver high schools that would allow up to four weeks of maternity leave for new teen moms. This coming after many teen mothers were forced to return to school immediately after being discharged from the hospital or face truancy violations. Moms and medical professionals alike agree that new mom aftercare is critical to not only the health of the mother and child, but key in forming the relationship of the new family -- in whatever form that emerges. Shouldn't we give the same consideration to teen moms or is this only condoning teen pregnancy altogether?

On the Feminism Today board, deutche_mama recently posted "I can't see anything negative with schools helping out young mothers.  By securing their education these girls are making huge advances for their future.  How can that be bad???

By allowing these girls time off to heal, mentally and physically from birth, is a step in the right direction.  They can then return to school and truly concentrate on their studies." 

However, ginnyinnc countered with her opinion: "The fact is teenage mothers consciously make the decision to become parents. I believe we need to show them that it's not the BEST idea for them or for the child. We should not encourage it or pat them on the head when it happens. It's a bad idea that will forever alter their lives."

In a discussion on the Parents of Ten- to Fourteen-Year Olds message board janetis40 isn't on board with this plan just yet, either: "The cold hard facts are ... schools are not put into place to work around teenage Mothers ... they are there to educate children." There does seem to be some fear that giving teen moms more opportunity to settle in to their new roles may make teen pregnancy less off-putting. Others would argue that not helping these young moms adjust only increases their likelihood of dropping out of school. 

Member bradleyteach offers her thoughts: "I believe that these young women should be able to have a doctors note excusing them for an appropriate period of time postpartum.  Or, they can be excused from school the rest of the school year and re=enroll for the next school year but treating them as truancy cases is inappropriate.  They've got enough going against them to be a teenager and have a baby, but to make it so that they must choose between abandoning their baby to the care of someone else before their milk even comes in and then come home to HS level homework - it is the baby who will suffer - and dropping out so that their chances of making a decent living for themselves and their babies is just not in anyone's best interest."

tamtamm agrees, saying, "Childbirth is a major medical event. I can't imagine anyone going back to work/school 2 days after giving birth. I agree that a doctor's note should be sufficient in excusing the child from school for a period of time."

A school's involvement in what happens well before teens give birth is also stirring up controversy. A Howard County Maryland school board has approved a written policy that requires staff to inform parents of their pregnant daughter's status. This news has fueled a discussion over privacy, parental rights and more.  thefeministbreeder says, "I don't think a teenager has any right to privacy in this way.  I'm glad they make cell phones with GPS in them now so when my kids are teenagers, I'll be able to track their every movement.  Kids have poor judgment, and do stupid things.  Even kids raised in the best environments."

iblondie2004 doesn't see this as a completely black and white topic: "I'm torn on this issue. The right thing to do wars with my personal beliefs. Unfortunately, I just don't think its practical to require that parents will be notified. It will deter teenagers from receiving the services they so desperately need. Although I do have a HUGE problem with minors receiving medical services of any kind without parents approval and knowledge."

While everyone seems to feel it would be best if more parents had better relationships with their teens that would result in them coming forward on their own or help to avoid the situation altogether, many fear that this policy will only result in more teens in trouble not getting any help or support at all. Looking at this debate from the perspective of a mom, you can't help but feel anything that would connect the parent to what is really happening would only help, but as acacia_verain points out, no matter how difficult it might be, we have to also look at this from the view of the teen: "I think there are many instances where it is better for the parent not to know.  If I had become pregnant when I was a minor, I would have done anything to keep that from my parents to the point of risking or sacrificing my own life.  Teenagers filled with desperation and recklessness are capable of many terrible things.  I remember what that felt like....having no freedom....that feelings of helplessness. You couldn't pay me to go through that again.  This is part of the reason I feel it is vitally important for a teenager to have access the confidential medical treatment."

What do you think about these issues? Should teens have access to a school-approved maternity leave? Are schools obligated to notify a parent about a teen's pregnancy? Share your thoughts on these stories and let us know how you feel. 

It's a bird, it's a weekday -- no, it's ... Super Tuesday! While I'm not sure that Super Tuesday is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, it does guarantee Super Buzz in the iVillage community. Politics are always fair game for frank and sometimes heated conversations on our debate and issues boards, but election season has everyone sharing their feelings on this year's candidates. From our expecting clubs and playgroups to our Home & Garden message boards, women are sounding off on what's important to them and how they're planning to vote. Even on our Remodel & Renovate community, there are some definite plans for remodeling and renovating the White House, and we're not talking interior design. A lot of women are trying to cut through the campaign rhetoric and plan to send a message to the candidates that they not only want a change in policy, but a change in the process; cl-thatyank sums up her thoughts on this year's crop of negative campaign tricks by saying, "negative television ads tend to make me angry at the person who approved the ad."  In the same discussion, cl-joshndansmom echoes what we're seeing on many of our boards: "There are so many issues, but right now I think the biggest one is getting our soldiers out of Iraq safely." 

So is Iraq the big issue for this election, when many voters are looking for a change in domestic policy as well as foreign affairs? The war in Iraq is always a hot subject of discussion on the Current Debates board and in many of our military communities, this issue hits closer to home than many of us can fathom. Although Iraq is a hot-button issue for many, the state of the U.S. healthcare system and the struggling economy have definitely become top of mind issues for many iVillage members, who feel the pinch of these for their families on a daily basis. On our Hot Topics in Health message board, member clear_victory laments:

"Health care seems to have slipped below the radar, all of a sudden it's "about the economy, stupid", you know? If we can't stay healthy, the economy has little meaning. I'm so sick of seeing overcrowded ERs because so many have no health insurance." 

Campaigning at a café in New Hampshire on Monday, January 7 Hillary Clinton’s voice cracked when she answered a voter’s question about how she gets through each hectic day. The incident has caused quite the commotion in the media and among voters. Some reporters are calling it Clinton’s “Muskie moment,” referring to former Senator Edmund Muskie whose presidential aspirations withered in 1972 when it was reported that he may have gotten teary-eyed on the campaign trail. The question now is whether or not this episode helped Clinton secure victory in New Hampshire, and whether it will help or hinder her as the campaign continues. Within the iVillage community responses have been heated with little sympathy for Clinton.

Member chellygotabelly isn’t cutting the senator any slack. She wrote, “Come on, girls, who hasn't cried once or twice to get a little sympathy? Oldest trick in the book. Mrs. Clinton, you need to up your game; [you’re] running with the big dogs now.”

Member trishst also believes that Clinton should be tougher, “I don’t need my candidates choked up because their campaign went sour and the pressure is getting to them. If they can’t take the pressure of a campaign, then I don’t want them leading my country.”

Many others agree. Member amyolsen22 added, “She is crying during caucuses?? How on earth will she be able to hold up with real issues in office? This country needs strength, and crying during such an early stage is ridiculous.”

But some members don’t think crying is necessarily a bad thing. Member glitter_girl_5000 feels that “…crying, particularly in public, can actually be a very powerful display of strength. Crying is not a manifestation of weakness; it’s the manifestation of being human.” However, glitter_girl_5000, also wonders if the public is being manipulated by the media, Clinton or both. Consequently, she concludes, “I don't know whether Hillary's tears were genuine or not, but I think it's best to be skeptical when it comes to emotional sound bites and instead stick to the issues.”

Member cl-libraone, who argues that Clinton only choked up and didn’t actually cry, agrees, writing, “It’s silly the media has picked up this item.”

While Member mountainlaurel2005 thinks that “Bush should have choked up more over the deaths of our troops!”

What do you think? After watching the clip, do you think Senator Clinton was genuinely upset? And if so, is that a bad thing? Share your thoughts.

A MySpace hoax that ended with the suicide of a 13-year-old Missouri girl has sparked outrage across the country—and across the iVillage community. Reactions to the story were those of shock, disgust, and anger—anger at the parents involved in the hoax, and anger over the fact that no charges have been filed.

Megan Meier hanged herself in October of last year, just minutes after receiving mean messages on the social networking Web site. Her parents learned a few weeks after her death that their daughter, who thought she was communicating online with a 16-year-old boy, was being deceived. The "boy" was created by a mother down the street who wanted to know what Megan was saying about her own daughter, who had had a falling out with Megan.

Although authorities could not find a crime to charge anyone in Megan’s case, many iVillagers, such as snafu2007, believe the perpetrators of the hoax should be held responsible: “The parents who set up the fake MySpace account are criminals and should be punished for their crime against that girl. Since they created the circumstances by which that girl killed herself they are an accessory to that death. I am surprised that there are no statutes on the books in their state that covers this type of situation. This was no 'joke' or 'prank'. This was done to that girl with malice."

Member jamieandlukesmom agrees: "This parent should be held accountable. I agree with what [Megan's] parents said. It's just like this parent put the gun in her hand and had shot her herself. Parents just need to mind their own business when it comes to female squabbles in high school, unless they get out of control."

A number of iVillagers, however, point out that those involved in the hoax may not be criminally liable. Member uk_momof2 weighs in: "I am really on the fence on [the question of whether criminal charges should be filed], since you can't judge a person's conduct solely on the outcome— if the child had laughed it off, would her behavior have been criminal? The courts have been fairly strict in the definition of "intentional infliction of emotional distress" (which I am assuming this would fall under) to separate it from mere bad manners and hurt feelings. Certainly, the parents behavior goes beyond bad manners, but does it rise to the level of criminal?"

Should there be reforms in existing law related to child endangerment and Internet harassment? Many think so. skybroken, who works with teens with depression and ADD, remarked, "The law needs to catch up to technology. For the adults that knew her, and knew her condition, to do that... they should have to bear some responsibility for their cruelty." Member mommagemma agrees: "This is despicable. Cyber harassment should be a crime, because after all, making prank phone calls is a crime; the only difference is the technology that is being used."

For some parents, the tragedy brings up once again the issue of child safety on the Internet. cl-tchav7 says, " I think it's deplorable that there are young children on [sites like MySpace] and there are no checks and balances to keep up with that. I honestly think that, if it has to exist, the age limit should be 18, and the age should be verified by using a credit card number (not necessarily charging the card, but validating the person's age)."

In the subject of bullying, mandeesita offers some thoughtful advice for parents: "I think, as parents, it's our responsibility to teach our kids, not only to not say mean things about others, but that other people are going to try and say hurtful things about us, and it's important to not let it get overwhelming."

What do you think? Should charges be against the adults involved in the hoax? What precautions do you take to keep your child safe online?