October 2009 Archives

From 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. PT, you can see the live Webcast of The Women's Conference 2009 here. Click here to view the schedule. To find out more about The Women's Conference, click here. For more from iVillage and Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation," click here.

NBC Nightly News explores how Bea Stotzer, one of the founders of New Economics for Women (NEW), is helping Latino women succeed.

 

What has been the key to your success? Tell us in the comments below.

For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

It's no secret that men and women communicate differently, but how does that affect workplace dynamics?

 

Do you find it hard to communicate with men at work? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

Despite gains, Dr. Nancy Snyderman says that the bulk of family responsibility falls to women. On Nightly News with Brian Williams, Dr. Nancy discusses how women who are primary caregivers sacrifice their own health.

 

Do you feel like you're always putting other people's needs ahead of your own? For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

President Barack Obama shares how he and his wife Michelle balance work and family responsibilities, and offers some advice to new husbands on how to "negotiate" changing family roles.

 

Are you and your partner still "negotiating" your familial roles? For more from "A Woman's Nation," click here.

In a hectic world, has spirituality taken a backseat to other concerns -- or has it created more of a need to be connected to one's faith? As we examine the balance of women's lives this week, we asked iVillagers how spirituality and religion fits into the mix as they juggle family, work and more:

To me, faith and family and totally intertwined.  It is something the family does together.  So, to "find the balance between faith and family" is a concept that doesn't even connect for me.  They are not two things competing for limited resources, where we have to choose one over the other. -- merimom96

My faith is such an important part of my life that I don't see it as something that I have to find time for. It's a part of who I am. Faith and practice of faith comes first in our home. Everything else is secondary.  -- ma2connor

I don't know that what I do, I would call balance, but I try to tackle the more pressing things as they come. I do feel my faith is most important. When I know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to, I don't spend my time worrying and wondering. -- harkness

Read more in our Religion Debate community and find out about how women are really keeping balance in their lives in our Woman's Nation coverage.

Men who grew up thinking that it was a man's world, "whose doors were just going to open because we have a Y chromosome," as one male interviewee said, are now grappling with women's increasing presence in the workplace.

 

Do you find this new power struggle confusing, as the men Maria Shriver interviewed do?

For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

Maria Shriver's "A Woman's Nation" explores the increasing role of women in church and other religious institutions.

 

Between work, family and other obligations, do you have time for religion or spiritualism in your life? Tell us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

On Nightly News with Brian Williams, Maria Shriver takes a look at the changing roles of men and women in the workplace. Are you the primary breadwinner in your family? Share your experience with us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

Maria Shriver talks with men about the revolution at home and asks, "Who's in charge?"

 

Do you and your partner struggle over who's in charge in your home? Tell us in the comments below. For more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

 

It's no secret that many women would love to have a little more help around the house. Whether it's washing the dishes or picking up after the kids, sharing the family chores is definitely a welcome relief, but can it also be a turn-on? According to a recent survey, husbands that get busy in the laundry room are more likely to be getting busy in the bedroom as well. The women of iVillage are willing to vouch for these findings:

I think it's a combination of (1) having more energy, (2) feeling more attractive myself (when I get a little break from housekeeping and parenting), and (3) feeling deep affection for DH when he shows through action that he loves and respects our family and our home. -- penn_girl

It's easier to focus on what's at hand if the house is picked up, and you're not tripping on your way to the bedroom, or thinking you have to change laundry afterward, before falling asleep so you  have clothes for the next day. -- rasbet1999

When my [husband] helps more, there is less stress, resentment and fatigue on my part.  It also makes me feel more loved and more than willing to reciprocate.  -- lucita2k

While I don't consciously connect sex with housework, I am much more likely to be in the mood if the house is clean-- even better if I haven't been the one cleaning it. -- geschichtsgal

Some men, though, seem to be catching on:

[My husband] swears his extra help lately is just enlightened self-interest. If I nap while he does dishes, he figures then I have more energy for... uh... other priorities. He's a dreadful tease, but yes, I find the extra help to be a sign of love and what's sexier than a man who adores you? -- just_elsa

So obviously it's about more than just a clean house. How has this played out in your household? Have you been able to balance the household duties as well as time for romance? Or are you just too tired after juggling it all to even think about doing anything else in the bedroom besides catching up on sleep? 

Read more of our community's reaction: Why housework and sex are connected and find out about the real lives of women in the workplace in our Woman's Nation coverage.

Referring to the research conducted by Maria Shriver for "A Woman's Nation," David Gregory asks, "When will poltics reflect the change that we're seeing in this report?"

 

Do you think women have enough representation in politics?

To see more from "A Woman's Nation" click here.

While the idea that women can choose to either stay at home with their children or be a part of the workforce is a perfectly wonderful concept, when you get down to reality, the fact is most women don't have the luxury of that choice, based on their financial situation or family structure. Of course this is a hotly-debated topic and one where we see moms facing off to defend their own choices -- or in most cases -- their basic realities. Is the whole idea that women today can "opt out" a myth? Here's what iVillage women (some moms, some not) are saying about the economics of opting out:

We need for me to work full time with the economy and [my husband's] job is in sales and not doing well at all.  We are barely getting by and my hours are being cut at work from 20 hrs per week to about 12. Bad situation. So, reluctantly, we made the decision for me to go back FT.  -- turkeybaster

It's really a necessity [for me to work]. I worked full time for a few years after my first son was born. [My husband] is a teacher, so we couldn't really pay the bills on his salary. After a few years of going green and living simply, I was able to quit my full time job and take on something part time so that I could spend more time with the kids. -- cl-kellie0901

Like so many women, there were financial obligations. Not returning was never an option. -- cl-ijanis51

Others feel that most women have a choice, it's just a matter of what sacrifices they're willing to make:

I think moms say (and feel) that they "have" to work because it assuages the guilt they feel about leaving their child in the hands of another. Well, I refuse to feel guilty for working, even though I could choose to stay at home. I wish we would all embrace our choices, stop feeling like victims of our circumstances, and, above all things, stop judging the choices of others. 

And if you really feel like you have no other choice than to work (that you need the money), I encourage you to really explore whether this is true. You may be thinking, "If I don't work, we can't afford our mortgage. My kids can't go to camp. We can't go on vacations." Well, this is a choice. You could choose to move into a smaller house or a cheaper city or town. You could send your kids to public school; vacation at the lake instead of the beach, give up the Starbucks, etc. Heck, even if you are a single-mom, many choose to go on welfare rather than work. I'm not advocating either way, just saying there is always a choice, although I fully acknowledge that sometimes the alternatives are really unappealing. -- penn_girl

 

Another mom offers her take on the idea that choosing to work means not choosing your child:

I don't think that desiring help with infant care while I continued working was reason enough to not have had a child, or desiring to return to work and university after [my son] is in school is indicative of me choosing myself over him. [My husband] knows that he would not be able to handle spending all day at home, so he's never considered being a stay at home dad - yet I rarely hear dads being criticized for choosing their career over their child in the way that moms are. In our case, it isn't about choosing anything over our child, it's about being honest about our limitations and finding a solution that works for our family's best interest. There are always costs and benefits to analyze, but it is possible to strike a good balance between being parents and being individuals with roles outside the home. It's an issue that doesn't have to be all one way or the other, but one that people can adapt to work for their family as their needs change over the years, and that's something that the black and white debate misses out on. I think feeling that it has to be all or nothing contributes to so many families feeling stuck, rather than finding solutions and working toward them so that everyone involved benefits in some way. -- indgglow

 

Do you believe that opting out of work is a choice for all women? Regardless of income, is having a stay-at-home parent always the best scenario? How does this play out in your own life? We'd love to hear your comments on women in the workplace and your own experiences -- sound off below!

For more on how women are really balancing work, family, sex and home, visit A Woman's Nation.   

Even though more and more women are becoming the primary or equal breadwinners in the workplace and for their families, does the rest of their life fall into such an equal balance? We asked iVillage women their work status compares to their ability to still do it all. Do women and men have an equal share of work when it comes to taking care of the household or the kids?

[My husband is] better than he used to be, but I still carry the load of the household chores and childcare.  Even when I'm working at night or on weekends I still have to do the cooking and cleaning for the most part. -- shmear

My going back to work honestly doesn't make much of a difference with household duties. We both struggle to get them done because we're both very busy. I do more because I work less ... he works full time and when he is home has a part time job on top of that -- cl-yukonjoe

I work 40+ hours per week, have three kids and another one on the way.  My husband also works too much. I handle most everything kid related and household-related (shopping/bills/etc.), but he steps in when I need him and he does the outside stuff,  maintenance on cars and the house, etc. I handle homework and school-related stuff.  We share bath duties & we both do bedtime (although his contribution is the last kiss & snuggle).  He does morning duty and I go to work early, so I'm done when the kids get off school.  It works, but we are exhausted most of the time! -- kelseys_mom1999

[My husband] and I definitely have some "defined" roles -- he does most of the "outdoor" work and I do more of the "indoor" work so to speak. It's just what works for us. Neither of us really complains about, it's just what we do. -- cl-foxies_lady

 

How do you balance work and home duty in your household? Do you feel things are equal? We'd love to hear your experience on this topic -- chime in below!

Find out more about A Woman's Nation: a groundbreaking study on women, work and family.