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Mom Implanted With Wrong Embryo
You're pregnant! Two words all couples who are trying to conceive dream about hearing. But for the Savage family, their good news had a caveat. It was not their child. Carolyn Savage had been implanted with another couple's embryos.
Rather than terminate the pregnancy, the Savages have decided to act as a surrogate. The other couple, Shannon and Paul Morell, who are parents of 2-and-a-half-year-old twin girls, were considering having a third child using their frozen embryos. Then the clinic called.
"It's just the oddest feeling to have somebody else carrying your child because, as a parent, you want to do everything possible to protect your child," Shannon Morell said during an interview Wednesday on the Today show. "We were totally powerless and out of control. Even though we were grateful, it was just a terrible feeling."
Of course, this shocking story struck a chord and raised lots of questions among those in our community who are trying to conceive. Could you be as courageous as the Savages and give up the child? Some said no.
"This is going to be a very unpopular opinion, but depending on how early in my pregnancy I found out, I would actually terminate and have IVF repeated. I know I couldn't handle giving up a child I'd carried to term and I also know that it wouldn't be right to keep these people's bio-child if it were going to cause the other couple strife." -- smiling2007
"Why do they have to give it back? It is not their error; it's the clinic's... I applaud their honesty and courage but if this happened to me, I'm not sure I would just hand the baby over." -- dolcib
The Savages, who have three children, were trying for a fourth. This swayed some opinions:
"I can't even put myself into their shoes. The only thing that can even slightly make the situation better (and I mean only a fraction of a percentage) is at least they already have three children. If this happened to one of us [TTC - Your First Child] than it would be worse [in my opinion]. When I initially heard the situation I thought how horrible for them to have to give up this child, but then I had to put myself in the shoes of the real parents. They could be any one of us just praying for their first child, and somewhere along the line fate stepped in and brought them their child via surrogate." -- cheshireliz
"It was bad that this mistake happened. But I find myself not feeling as bad for the pregnant woman as I thought I'd be. After all, she has all the kids she wants; she just feels that she can't just discard the remaining embryos." -- witzz
And many simply applauded the couple for their decision:
"I found the couple so inspiring. They are taking a nightmare of a situation and dealing with such grace and compassion. I so hope she can get pregnant with a gestational carrier. It will never change what happened, but man, they deserve it!" -- adav75
"I can't begin to imagine how upsetting that must have been to discover. I admire them for deciding to act as a surrogate for the other couple." -- sweetsoil
What would you do? Terminate the pregnancy? Fight for joint custody? Hand over the baby?
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To be honest I don't know how I would really feel about it. I mean in all honesty I would feel bad if I had a termination on the basis that it wasnt my biological child I was carrying, but then theres the thoughts for the other family caught up in all of this. This could be their one and only chance of having a child, but unfortunately the embrio is in some one else.
Its a very sensitive subject. But the base line in my opinion is that there should be more strict checks to make sure this doesnt happen again.
Thy heart goes out to you on your decision. I too would do thy same so do not feel bad about thy life of thy embrio.
I wish thee many blessings in life for what ever you decide to do as it is thee that is thee one that did not make the mistake. Make a stand and sue the provider that did this harm to thee for this will be and is causing unde emoition harm to thee.
I may get a few raised eyebrows about this, but I believe everything happens for a reason! She had a successful pregnancy. I have not been able to conceive myself and perhaps this is what it would of taken to get a child of my own? I am a foster mother currently of four wonderful children and it is almost as if I am a surrogate over and over again. Hopefully the couple who is surrogating for the other couple will allow them to be in the child's life. Sometimes it truly does take a village to raise a child! Perhaps this child is destined for greatness?
I feel sadened for the woman who wanted to get pregnant with their child. However, I applaud the courageousness of the pregnant woman who with all that she has is willing to carry this baby to term and be a serrogate to the couple who could not get pregnant. I think that God has stepped in an altered the course of fate. Have you ever heard the old saying, " Do you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans". Who knows, maybe the only chance this couple has to have their own child is in this fashion. I reaffirm that this woman and her husband who are carrying this baby to term even though it was a mistake that the Dr.s made is truly blessed as all who surround her. God Bless you and your truly unselfish act.
How could anyone even conceive of terminating the pregnancy just based on the fact that they couldn't "handle" carrying someone else's baby and having to hand it over? What a completely selfish, self-serving, awful, cowardly answer to this problem. That is still a baby...with 10 fingers and 10 toes, a heartbeat, a developing brain and a beautiful body forming inside a womb. That baby is still a miracle who deserves the chance to be born and have a life. It wasn't this "embryos" fault that it ended up in the wrong body. You should really be ashamed of yourself.
no one can say what we would do in this situation, i mean, honestly you would kill a baby just cuz its not yours? you loved it the second you found out your were pregnant and then when you find out you were given the wrong embryos you find enuf hate to kill the baby?
I doubt that anyone who has been trying for a baby long enuf and desperate enuf to go thru the emotional and financial stress of IVF would be able to do that.
Not saying that i would be happy to hand over the baby but when you are trying to conceive and not able to you form a unspoken bond with other ladies in the same boat as you. Spoken from exp, i know that i can bond with another lady who has had awful experiences like i have just by knowing that she is struggling just like I am.
I have been thru 4 miscarraiges, 2 years of infertilty drugs and treatments and 2 rounds of IVF and still dont have the baby that hubby and i dream of.
I cant even imagine what either of these ladies (and families) are going thru but i know that both of them are angels. How do you give up a child that you want so badly? And how do you thank that woman who carried your child as if it was your own? Wow, deep..... these ladies are tied for life and we could learn a lot from their actions!
no one can say what we would do in this situation, i mean, honestly you would kill a baby just cuz its not yours? you loved it the second you found out your were pregnant and then when you find out you were given the wrong embryos you find enuf hate to kill the baby?
I doubt that anyone who has been trying for a baby long enuf and desperate enuf to go thru the emotional and financial stress of IVF would be able to do that.
Not saying that i would be happy to hand over the baby but when you are trying to conceive and not able to you form a unspoken bond with other ladies in the same boat as you. Spoken from exp, i know that i can bond with another lady who has had awful experiences like i have just by knowing that she is struggling just like I am.
I have been thru 4 miscarraiges, 2 years of infertilty drugs and treatments and 2 rounds of IVF and still dont have the baby that hubby and i dream of.
I cant even imagine what either of these ladies (and families) are going thru but i know that both of them are angels. How do you give up a child that you want so badly? And how do you thank that woman who carried your child as if it was your own? Wow, deep..... these ladies are tied for life and we could learn a lot from their actions!