October 2008 Archives

My colleagues from Women@NBCU recently shared findings of a survey that aimed to paint a picture of the current political attitudes of women this election season. The results, which you can read here, show that women are looking past gender as a barometer for their political choices. Of course we know from listening to the iVillage community over the past year that while women's unique experiences and perspectives as mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, teachers, business owners and more, definitely play into their political beliefs and the issues they consider important; but attempting to consider women as a solid voting bloc is not only overly simplistic, but, well, downright wrong. But I don't need to tell you that, do I?

Women Influencing Others?  

Our Women@NBCU survey found that women feel that the amount of influence they have on political decisions with friends, family and colleagues lessens with age. Asked about their influence on others' votes, iVillagers were evenly split between feeling like they were the most informed and outspoken of their social and family groups, but in many cases were unsure if they impacted others' voting decisions. It's interesting to note that many of the responses to this question showed that women were less concerned about influencing others' opinions and focused more on a "teaching approach," being more apt to provide factual information and resources.

"I talk about what I believe and why, but expect most have usually formed their own opinions and I am fine with that, we can agree to disagree." -- char1105

"I don't feel it's my place to convince others *how* to vote. But I do believe it's important they are basing their voting decision on facts that are free of partisan bias so I'm always happy to offer factual input when asked. They can come to their own conclusions." -- mommy2max111805

"Most of my friends who I am close enough to discuss politics are in agreement with my values and views. We tend to reinforce each others' views." -- halsgal2008

"I do not try to influence my friends' votes. I believe we all need to research the candidates on our own and come to our own decision." -- mama_lah

"I think I have had some influence but I cannot say how much. I have done a lot of research and helped point people in right direction to find balanced information." -- bmcmommy

Second in Command

From our Women@NBCU poll we learned that should something happen to the commander in chief while in office, more women are comfortable with Joe Biden serving as president than Sarah Palin. We asked the same question on our Moms & Politics message board and of the respondants, the results were much the same, but for many it wasn't just a simple either/or choice:

"I could live with Biden but I'm not thrilled with him. Palin is not qualified." -- bmcmommy

"I would feel very comfortable if Biden was president.  He has tons of experience and knowledge on a variety of topics." -- lm77mom

"I believe Sarah Palin has a better grasp on what the people of this nation want and need, because she's been there, done that.  Joe Biden has NEVER been there, done that despite what he tries to protray with his show of 'riding the train to work every day', give me a break..." -- onebusyredhead

"Sarah Palin.  She has shown a clear record of not allowing her party affiliation to cloud what is right.  Biden is too liberal to lead this country." -- hockeymom017

"I definitely would be comfortable with Joe Biden." -- pionjw

"Hands down Biden. I just don't think she was a good choice at all. She just isn't qualified." -- victoriaalise23

Halloween is right around the corner and whether you're just a casual trick-or-treater or a ghoul gone wild, chances are you've got plans that just might involve dressing up as an otherworldly being and overload on candy. You're certainly not alone, and I took a spin around the boards to find out what our users are planning for All Hallows Eve.

-- The moms on the Halloween message board are discussing their trick-or-treat plans and last-minute costume preparations. If you have a Halloween emergency or need some quick tips, be sure to stop by.

Speaking of costumes...

-- iVillager pennygirl2006 shows off her two cuties in our Happy Halloween photo gallery, where you can view a ton of great Halloween photos of costumes, decor and more. While you're there, go ahead and upload a few pictures of your own. You know you want to.

-- On the Weight Watchers Followers board trick-or-treating is on the brain, but the ladies are looking for ways to avoid the tricks of the treats, so to speak. Some are just not buying candy this year to avoid temptation, while others are only buying the stuff they personally can't stand. This would totally not work for me, unless there is some sort of chocolate-covered mushroom candy that I'm not aware of.

-- On the California board, iVillager elc11 is on to us!  "... what really bugs me are the parents not in any costume holding out a bag 'for' an infant or toddler. Presumably they're not going to give all of that candy to that little one so they must be begging for candy for themselves."

-- While I'm not pilfering my own candy stash or stealing some from my daughter's haul, I am enjoying one of my favorite grains -- candy corn. (Yes, my name is Caryn and I have a problem.) I can't imagine who *doesn't* like candy corn, honestly, but apparently there are a few of you out there. Check out this poll from Holiday Decorating & Crafts:

-- While Halloween can be a fun event, for some it's just another opportunity to bring out the family drama. How do you reconcile your trick-or-treat plans with an active and maybe a bit overbearing family? The tough love comes out on this debate in our Parenting Issues Debate community.

-- For other families, though, Halloween is definitely a family celebration. iVillager j_o_brown on the Fantasies board is sharing details about his daughter's upcoming Halloween wedding.

No matter what your plans, I hope you have a fun and safe evening. Share your Halloween traditions and stories here with us -- and of course, your favorite fun-sized treat.

Senator Barack Obama's much-anticipated "infomercial" debuted in primetime on Wednesday night and of course the iVillage community had their two cents ready to toss into the mix. Was it everything they expected or was it just pre-empting their favorite shows? Did Ron Popeil show up with a food dehydrator as part of the economics plan? We turn to our ever-faithful Politics Today community for a temperature check:

"I did watch it and IMHO it was depressing. I just felt bad for the families he had on that were struggling with job loss, groceries, just getting by day by day. It was done by Davis Guggenheim who did Al Gore's 'An Inconvenient Truth'. I think that it goes back to the message that 'it's not about me, it's about you'. It was very moving. I don't think it will change anyone's views though." -- strawberrymom22

"I thought it was good. I was already voting for Obama, so it doesn't change anything for me, but it did confirm for my why I think he is the best candidate." -- janetheteacher

"A waste of millions and millions of dollars that could have gone to help those poor people instead of making spectacles of them." -- mileaimn

"It was very hopeful, and he looked presidential. It won't convince Republicans to vote for him, but it will solidify his Democratic supporters and might convince some undecideds that he isn't a nasty commie terrorist sympathizer."  -- sopall1953

Too Flashy or Just Right?

Some were discussing the presentation from the standpoint of whether it was really a waste of time and/or money to shell out millions for the primetime slots less than a week before Election Day: 

"I think it's a little over the top, too much money and arrogant." -- britt1283

"I don't see a problem with it. It's something that both candidates are within their right to do. They want to win votes, and this is a fair way to do it. It's a lot of money to spend, but Obama's campaign raised that money - millions of people contributed to it so that they could do whatever they needed to do to get votes." -- solush80

"I watched part of the infomercial and I thought it seemed well done. Frankly, I don't know 'why' Obama did it. He is far ahead in the polls. If I were him, I would not be doing ANYTHING right now to potentially jeopardize my spot in the polls. Although, after watching part of it, I don't think it's really going to move him back or forward in the polls" -- loriannedz

"It is his prerogative to do this. Ross Perot did a similar presentation. Whether this will help his showing next Tuesday is a matter to be seen."  -- sopall1953

"By this time in the election, most minds are made up... I personally think it is a big waste of money. Those who are interested have watched the debates, have seen way too many commercials, interviews and newscasts... even IF I was a supporter I cannot imagine why I would watch." -- susandimi

Like "silky water" and Britney Spears

Possibly the most poetic review of the ad came to us in the following quote: 

"Wouldn't have missed it for anything. It flowed like silky water, and he was able to reiterate his plans and have it written down at the bottom as he said them, which I liked." -- whatever-girl

But on the other side of the fence, some are feeling like Obama is too much of a pop icon and not providing enough substance:

 "Well I guess if Britney Spears can be a pop star, Obama can be President. They both do well on camera, right?" -- puppy-mom

"I was watching while watching and chatting with my liberal sister. I asked her if she got the feeling that at any moment the screen was going to flash "\'and for only 29.99 if you call in the next 10 minutes'."  -- mr_work

Harsh! But also very funny. I know I can always count on the iVillage community to really call it like they see it.

What did you think? Did you watch and did it change your mind or just reiterate what you already knew? Is there anyone out there left sitting on the fence still? Share your take on the Obama commercial, the McCain follow-up statement and what's going on in your minds these last few days before the election. 

Unfortunately in these tough economic times the propsects of debt, bankruptcy and foreclosure are becoming an all-too-real nightmare for some. Navigating these challenges can be difficult, but CNBC's Carmen Wong Ulrich offers some insight for these iVillagers' questions:

 

We are filing Chapter 7 next week. We have a mortgage and equity loan with two different companies and the total of those balances is now over what our home value is by about $30K. Should we think about adjusting our mortgage to either what the value really is or at least change the ARM to fixed? Our ARM changes in a year and a half and when that happens we won't be able to pay it! Our mortgage [payments] are currently 45% of our gross income. Even with filing Chapter 7 we will barely be able to get by, but we don't want to give the house up. -- desertrat4

So I hear there's this election coming up...  Allegations of fraudulent registrations and concerns about voting equipment have been hot topics in our community over the past few weeks, resulting in a lot of anxiety and skepticism about election results. Early voters in some states have already met long lines and confusion at their polling places, fueling concerns that we could be in for a very long night on November 4 -- and probably a lingering post-election hangover.

Concerns about ACORN and reported voter registration fraud on both sides has women on our Moms & Politics message board talking:

 

"I do think both candidates should come out loud and clear denouncing voter registration fraud. I don't understand why either of them would be opposed to that?" -- willitfloat

"Either way, voter fraud does not equal registration fraud. It is manipulative of politicians and pundits to try and convince you that they are the same thing when they know good and well that they are not. Do I agree with ACORN's registration policy regarding fraudulent or repeat registrations? Of course not. Do I think purging voter registration files based on dubiously accurate state records is the right thing to do - NO! That will only lead to voter disenfranchisement." -- goobersnot1

For some in our In the News community, having an alternate option for casting their ballot has been a source of peace of mind: 

"I'm glad that in my area, we have the option of a paper ballot or an electronic ballot. When I went in for the primary, the person manning our precinct desk asked which I wanted. I opted for the paper ballot.  When I was done, I stopped back by the desk & asked if anyone at that point (which was late afternoon) had chosen the electronic ballot in our precinct. She said not one person had chosen it during the 6 hours she'd been there. Keep in mind, we're a pretty tech savvy area & very 'wired' but there are just some things that we don't trust 'technology' with & this is one of them - at least at this time." -- cl-nwtreehugger

 

With the election less than two weeks away, are you feeling nervous about election day? Are you concerned about voter registration fraud or mishandled ballots? Are you voting early to avoid the forecasted heavy turnout on election day? Let your pre-election jitters out here with other concerned iVillagers -- we'll consider it our own version of group therapy.  

After weeks of criticism over the broad language of the safe haven law largely intended to protect infants, Nebraska legislators agreed to amend the policy to only cover infants up to three days old. This comes after officials were left dealing with the abandonment of children as old as 17 and the alarming stories of parents coming from as far as Iowa and Michigan to drop off their children. While many iVillagers were shocked at the abandonment of older children, others wonder if changing the law is a bad move:

 

"Perhaps there should be some age restrictions but why limit it to just infants? I am heartbroken by the many stories of toddlers beaten to death by their caregivers. I always think, 'Why didn't they just give the kid away?!' Is it difficult to give away your child? Surely it is more difficult than just driving up to a hospital and putting them out of the car. Requiring more than that must be costing lives." -- lastminutemama

"At what point does a child stop needing assistance? When they're no longer cute and cuddly? Why put the kids in the position where something horrible has to happen before they can legally be removed from the home?" -- babyofmine714

What do you think about this change to Nebraska's safe haven law? Do you feel that the laws should be limited to solely cover the abandonment of infants? Do you think safe haven laws could provide needed protection for older children or only does this only allow for abuse of the system? Sound off with your thoughts here and share your state's policy. 

Getting your financial world in order is never easy, but with recent chaos of the economy, it's even harder to know what the right approach might be. Carmen Wong Ulrich of CNBC's On the Money is here to answer iVillagers' concerns about their personal finance questions. One thing we're all wondering about is retirement. Carmen shares some great insight on whether or not we should worry:

"I have 20 yrs or so till retirement, but since both mine and my husband's retirement funds are in 401k's, is that enough time for the market to recover and to recoup the money that we have lost already?" - txneece

What if retirement's a long way off and you're just starting out? What about those who have managed to set aside some money and are now looking to grow that nest egg? Carmen tackles this question from another iVillager:

On the Moms & Politics board mocha4u has me wondering how many of us are feeling a little too tuned in to all the election coverage:

"How many of you have election fatigue? I have to be honest I have never paid as much attention to an election as much as I have this one. I voted but barely paid attention to the 2000 and 2004 elections. I watch CNN, MSNBC, and Fox constantly. I check these two electoral maps daily: http://www.pollster.com/ http://www.electoral-vote.com/

I watch Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow every night. In effect, I have driven myself crazy by staying so tuned in. I early voted yesterday. I have seen and heard everything I need to know. Even a 'surprise' wouldn't have changed my vote. This seems like the longest election in history."

 

Of course she's not alone, but most are mainly fed up with the campaign tactics and divisiveness that seem to come with the territory:

"I'm not so much fatigued as I am just plan old sick and tired of all the BS. I'm especially sick of McCain/Palin's negative campaigning and I just can't wait until the election is over so that we can be done with that." -- heavenly1127

"Yes, our election process is way too long." -- halsgal2008

"I've paid attention to the last 3 major elections but with this one... I definitly am getting fatigued!" -- janetis40

"I actually watched Project Runway last night (and switched over to the debate for commercials). I can't believe it, but I've reached the point where I figured I've heard it all from the candidates, and at least Korto's collection would be something new." -- amd1427

For some, the election fatigue is turning into frustration and bewilderment -- are we setting ourselves up for disappointment either way? iVillager carketch wonders, in her post titled "Ugh, does it even matter?" 

"Here we all are, debating the merits of our favourite candidates, when in reality, neither of them is going to be an effective president... It's just disheartening, really, since no matter what they want to do for this country, they are going to be severely handicapped and unlikely to fulfill their campaign promises.

Such a shame. Just when we need a strong leader the most. Of course, you still have to go with the candidate that you think will start us in the best direction... but we are fooling ourselves if we really think they are going to be able to effect much change."

 

Although both candidates seem to have their definite fans across our community (based on the signature lines and blinkie images alone!), I've seen carketch's feelings echoed not only in our boards but among friends and family. For many, though, there are definitely differentiating factors: 

"I agree neither candidate is ideal, however, I know one is totally unacceptable for me at least, but no one is here to have their minds changed." -- luvchocolateinnv

 

So how about you? Are you feeling election season overload or are you one of those who just can't get enough of it? Is election fatigue just part of it or have we reached an oversaturation point? No matter which side you're on, tell me how you're feeling these few weeks away from election day and what your hopes are for the outcome. 

For the final presidential face-off, it seems like the gloves may actually have come off during the debate held last night at Hofstra University in New York. Maybe just a smidgen. Can we all at least agree it was a bit more lively than the last one? But between the back and forth did you get the answers you wanted to hear? Who do you think came out on top in this round? And are Joe the Plumber and Joe Six Pack one and the same? For reaction to these burning questions and more, we turn to our ever-faithful Moms & Politics community:

"I liked how Obama said 'here is why' and went into specifics. It seemed like McCain was just talking about how Obama was wrong and not explaining what he was going to do about our problems." -- dopeone

"I LOVED the debate. I thought McCain started off strong and I was a little worried for Obama but my fears dissipated as Obama remained cool, calm, and collected while McCain seemed desperate and was reaching at just about every question. McCain spent his time attacking instead of putting out his own ideas. 

This was a great format and I really enjoyed the tough questions." -- cara2178

"I felt Obama won hands down. He stayed cool and collected and stood fast against the attack politics. John McCain had a few good moments... but I felt he looked slightly ruffled the whole time." -- cl-miyaka2007

"I thought that Obama looked ruffled. McCain finally put him in his place. To me Obama just talks in circles. He never makes sense to me." -- hilllaryt1234

"I think McCain seemed feisty (if not slipping into grouchy), but did relatively well. I think Obama failed to inspire about the economy, but did well over all." -- lj_jacieb

Others were debating the existence and root of John McCain's temper, a topic that's been often discussed recently in this election season:

"Obama was smirky. I knew McCain would want to get up and wander around. When I first saw the table and chairs, I thought uhoh, he's going to have to SIT!" -- litlpixy 

"McCain didn't appear grumpy to me at all, but I KNEW before I even signed on here that there would be a post waiting with just this subject.  I knew this because this very same line has been stated after each debate." -- shelbyishere

"My dad has PTSD from Vietnam and has trouble sitting with his back to doors, sitting when he is in a heated debate, or when he is angry. I think McCain has PTSD, and while I don't blame him, I do not want him for president because of it." -- kateandzachsmom2008

"I totally saw McCain's attempt to stay calm but he still looked flustered and irritated. I have to say, though, that I would be too in that situation, but I'm not running for president!" -- juliana3

 

And because I think we all need a little levity right around now, I couldn't end this entry without sharing the funniest quote from the boards regarding the debate, from litlpixy's message titled "The look of love?"

"Oh my... despite my feelings for Obama, I liked that picture that ran alongside the messages of him watching his wife speak. The look on his face held so much love.  But right now watching the debate, I SWEAR HE WAS WATCHING JOHN MCCAIN WITH THE SAME LOOK ON HIS FACE!"  

 
Well maybe the candidates will call a truce after all!

Now that the debates have drawn to a close, how do you think the candidates fared? Did the debates sway your vote at all? Or cause you to reconsider an issue? Are there any undecided voters left out there? Sound off here on last night's debate, the whole series of debates and the final stretch of this election season.

Each week CNBC's Carmen Wong Ulrich of "On the Money" will answer selected questions from iVillagers about personal finance, the economy and how you can get control of your money.

After you've cut as much as you can, what else should you do? Carmen offers her take on this popular question:

"We have cut down a lot! We have basic phone and basic cable for several months now and I wash dishes by hand instead of using the dishwasher. We eat at home most days which saves a lot of money and run errands the same day .What else can we do to save money? Any other suggestions?" -- redrose46

How are you cutting expenses and saving money? Do you have a comment or would you like to submit a question for consideration? Post your thoughts here and check out all of Carmen's answers in our other videos.

 

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Watch Carmen Wong Ulrich's 'On The Money' Weeknights 9PM EST on CNBC! Find more information on coping with the economy with our Bail Yourself Out resources.

Each week CNBC's Carmen Wong Ulrich of "On the Money" will answer selected questions from iVillagers about personal finance, the economy and how you can get control of your money.

It's hard to make sense of the recent fluctuations in the market and what to do next. Carmen weighs in on this topic:

"Turning on the news is uber-depressing lately... yet so necessary to figure out what the heck is going on. So has this made you more concerned with the state of affairs at your primary financial institution? Are you diversifying more? Consolidating? Sitting tight?" -- huffjoann

Have you made any changes in your strategy in light of recent events? Do you have a comment or would you like to submit a question for consideration? Post your thoughts here and check out all of Carmen's answers in our other videos.

 

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Watch Carmen Wong Ulrich's 'On The Money' Weeknights 9PM EST on CNBC! Find more information on coping with the economy with our Bail Yourself Out resources.

Each week CNBC's Carmen Wong Ulrich of "On the Money" will answer selected questions from iVillagers about personal finance, the economy and how you can get control of your money.

What's more stressful than preparing for a new baby and maternity leave? Preparing for a new baby and going on maternity leave as the markets are on a roller coaster ride. Carmen offers her insight on this worry that's being echoed across our Expecting Clubs:

"Anyone else worried about the economy and taking maternity leave? It is never a good time to go through an economic depression but it is even worse if you are not going to be working for three months. I really want to go to part-time after the baby is born but with the way things are looking how are we going to manage on one reduced income? Our neatly packaged plans are seeming less and less likely as the economic news gets worse." -- carreonme

How is the economy affecting your plans for a new baby -- or the older kids who may be expecting that allowance each week?  Do you have a comment or would you like to submit a question for consideration? Post your thoughts here and check out all of Carmen's answers in our other videos.

 

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Watch Carmen Wong Ulrich's 'On The Money' Weeknights 9PM EST on CNBC! Find more information on coping with the economy with our Bail Yourself Out resources.

Each week CNBC's Carmen Wong Ulrich of "On the Money" will answer selected questions from iVillagers about personal finance, the economy and how you can get control of your money. In this segment, Carmen responds to a common fear around the community after the recent parade of bank buyouts:

"I still have a job, DH (dear husband) still has a job; we pay our mortgage and all other bills. We've been trying for years to get ahead with our credit cards. We're finally there. We now can put away money because we have no more credit card payments. I'm just not sure if it's really a good idea to keep using our bank because it's going to be bought out by another bigger one." - misshelms

How are you faring in this economy? Do you have a comment or would you like to submit a question for consideration? Post your thoughts here and check out all of Carmen's answers in our other videos.

In case you've been in seclusion for the last several months, this election season has had its share of controversies, hot debates and plenty of fireworks. And that's just been on our message boards. Across the community we've seen iVillagers tell how the political atmosphere has added to tensions between spouses, friends, family members and co-workers who may be on opposite ends of the political spectrum. That can be quite a pickle for sure, but let's get down to what's really important: how do your political views line up with your favorite celebrity? Of course celebs sharing their views on public policy is nothing new (I'm looking at you, Bono), but do you find it helpful or just plain annoying? cl-wordyone recently brought up this very topic on the Movies! board. Here's what some iVillagers had to say about the stars who stump:

"It used to bother me when celebrities would be so vocal about their political views, but it really doesn't bug me much anymore. I mean, they have the right to say how they feel - I guess, lol. It only bothers me when someone gets really rabid about their viewpoint and gets all over anyone who disagrees with them." -- cl-wordyone

"I do know people who, if an actor they previously liked speaks out and they disagree, they won't see that person's films or shows anymore. But that's not me, I disagree with lots of actors' views, but I still watch their stuff!" -- momeebear

"I just find it fascinating how virulent the attacks are on the celebrities this time. Let's face it, there are JUST as many conservative celebrities out there stumping for their guy as there are liberal" ones for 'their' guy." -- thatyank

"Sure they have a right to their opinions and for the most part I have no trouble with it. But, it does bother me when people pay to go to concerts and get a political slide show also. And it really bothers me when celebrities are cruel and vicious... [for] example, when Matt Damon recently publicly said some cruel things about Sarah Palin. Whether you support her or not I think he was out of place." -- wildflower05

"I think that they have as much right to voice their opinions as anyone. And people who aren't usually tuned into politics might pause and listen." -- cl-libelulle

So what do you think? Do you wish celebs would keep their traps shut during election season or are you interested in their political views? Or does it even make it on your radar? Sound off here -- bonus points if you let me know which celeb's political rants drive you bonkers.

It seemed the theme was once again "no surprises" judging from the reaction to Tuesday night's presidential debate in Nashville, TN. Some even felt it was a total snooze-fest. Although some were taken off-guard by McCain's proposal for a federal bailout of homeowners and both sides took issue with the tone and demeanor of the other (not to mention their catchphrases), most everyone agreed there was no clear "winner" of the second face off between Senators Barack Obama and John McCain. Of course that also depends on who you ask. Let's dive right in with the reviews from the Politics Today board:

"I don't know that there was a winner/loser. I'm sure Obama supporters will say Obama and McCain supporters will say McCain. It's the same ol' stuff from both sides. Nothing really new out of either side, I don't think. I'm so tired of it all. They start this all so early and the campaign is such a long ordeal that it just gets annoying to even listen to them anymore. I'm just ready to get on with the vote." -- shelt04

"On the economy, they both lost. They both were afraid to be honest and say, 'Listen, things stink. Things will get worse for a while...' Both stuck with the not raise taxes thing. HELLO!! Can you say massive deficit! Did you both not mortgage my children's future?"  -- wifemomteacher

"Obama just seems more respectful which will be needed when dealing with world leaders. McCain just looks less and less presidential lately. I was going to vote for him up until a few weeks ago -- now I am really leaning towards Obama." -- freedom09

"McCain made an excellent point about Obama running for election on a middle-class tax cut and then saying that he never brought it up once he was elected." -- runnr_goddess

"I don't think either one won. The questions often weren't answered, and I have an issue with the questions that were chosen. At this moment in time, I believe most Americans are concerned about the economy, job loss, health care and other internal issues." -- roseirn

"I think Brokaw was desperately trying to get the candidates to adhere to the rules they had agreed to. I felt badly for him. I also felt that he didn't handle things very gracefully. But I don't think he showed any bias toward either candidate." -- eleeel

"I felt like I just wasted 2 hours for nothing. Tom Brokaw was awful, not only as a moderator, but if he was actually the one who chose the questions. I can't for one minute believe that these were the most pressing issues on America's list. We've heard this before. I expected to hear more substance. I feel cheated. I don't know anything more about these 2 guys than I did before."  -- bsktbllmom05

"Anybody else peeved about the format? This was NOT a town hall-style debate. Was everyone on valium/zoloft? I know, they were on their best behavior, but where was the spontaneity? The energy from the crowd? And funny how such predictable questions were selected." -- niteowl08

 

Reactions continued in a similar vein on the Moms & Politics community:

"Honestly, they both drove me crazy with their avoiding the questions. They talked way longer than the time allowed, but didn't even answer the questions half the time. I really didn't like how McCain came across.  He seemed to be talking down to everyone with his tone. Of course, I thought Obama won. I agree with his policies and I thought he was better at articulating his plans." -- lm77mom

"I like the way McCain gets close and seems to connect with the people in the town hall. Obama seems more distant and doesn't connect. In my opinion Obama doesn't answer the questions and just goes on and on to the point you can't even remember what the question is because he never answers it." -- willitfloat

"McCain won this hands down. As another poster mentioned, I can never remember the question once Obama starts rambling. I agree with McCain's policies, too." -- hillaryt123
 
"I felt McCain was trying too hard to connect and it came out insincere and patronizing.  If he used the phrase 'my friends' one more time I was going to scream. He certainly didn't connect humanly with Obama by calling him 'that one'." -- jazzylu

"Did anyone find the debate fairly boring? I watched the first 30 minutes then recorded the rest [because] I felt like I've heard it all before and they were going way over their time limits. One thing I noticed was McCain's tone was a bit different than it was in the other debate. It almost seemed like he was trying to make his voice sound softer. maybe to assure people that he is calm and not hot-headed? Did anyone else get this vibe?"  -- the2step  

The second debate between presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain is set to take place on Tuesday in Nashville, TN. Since this week's face-off will be a "town hall" format, with questions taken from the audience, we wanted to find out what iVillagers would ask the candidates if they had the opportunity. Here's a sampling of what you said:

"I'd ask McCain and Obama a variety of questions (mostly ~how~) in relation to some of their plans/policies posted on their sites.  
I'd ask Obama what his plan B is if his current plan for Iraq fails or hits a snag in the process?
I'd also ask him what his plan B is if his plan for diplomacy and making friends fails?"   -- sandy9193

"As for the presidential candidates, I want to know what they plan to do about the economy and the war in Iraq, first and foremost." -- miss_conception2005

"If you were given $700 Billion today to make America a better, stronger country, what would you do with it?
Do you think it is OK for the government to provide taxpayer funding for programs without legislative oversight? 
What three things could the government do to help working families, and especially mothers, in America? 
What do you think our biggest assets as a country are when it comes to foreign policy? And our biggest weaknesses." -- skyeling

"What do you see as the top five problems in this country and what would you do to improve them?
What would you say to single mother who works more than 40 hours per week and cannot afford to pay for healthcare insurance for herself and her children, let alone buy a house or put money aside for her retirement?
If you had to cut funding to five agencies/organizations that receive federal money, which would you cut and why?
If you could increase funding for five agencies/organizations that receive federal money, which would you increase and why?
Do you support No Child Left Behind? Why or why not? And what changes, if any, would you make to the current educational system in America?" -- kristeninct
 
"I would ask why in the world we who pay our taxes, work very hard and struggle to pay our own mortgages should have to bail out people who were financially irresponsible and lost their mortgages?" -- thegymmom
 
"Obama: 
What exactly were you doing in church every Sunday if you never noticed Rev. Wright's comments? Sleeping?
Why on earth would you think increasing taxes on big business would not hurt the middle class? Who do you think will in the long run pay those increased taxes?
Why tax the wealthy? They worked hard and earned their money. Isn't sharing the wealth while someone else does the work communism?
What are your thoughts on capping campaign spending? Shouldn't there be limits to the amounts candidates can spend?
I make $9.00 an hour. A quarter of my paycheck goes just to fill up my gas tank each week. I'm fast approaching not being able to afford my job. What are you going to do to help me?
How do you plan on reducing the number of people receiving public assistance?

McCain:
Why didn't you push harder for the Fannie Mae reform? Why did you let it die? Now in hindsight, are you kicking yourself over this one?
What are your thoughts on capping campaign spending? Shouldn't there be limits to the amounts candidates can spend?
I make $9.00 an hour. A quarter of my pay each week goes just to gas to get back and forth to work. I don't have health insurance and a $5000.00 credit won't even begin to help me get any. Have you not done your homework on how much health insurance really costs?
How do you plan on reducing the number of people receiving public assistance?
Do you still have nightmares from your POW experience?

Joe Biden:
What kind of grades did you get in history?
Do you ever listen to what you're actually saying?

Sarah Palin:
As a mother, how hard is it to sit back and watch the press destroy your teenage daughter?
Do you exercise daily?" -- brensticker

"What do you honestly believe that you can do to improve the lives of your fellow Americans?  and what do you think you will have to do in order to achieve these improvements? 
What does the phrase "promote the general welfare" means to you, and what will you be able to do about it?
What does your political party stand for, and how deeply do you agree with and follow those beliefs? -- patticake314

"I would ask them all why they continue to make promises to get votes when they know we cannot afford any of it. (such as universal health care and tax cuts)       
I would ask them if they ever cheated on their spouse.    
I would ask them if they would be willing to cut lifetime benefits and perks to all senators, congressmen, etc. (such as free haircuts, free lunch, pensions that equal their regular pay, and free health care)
I would ask them if they would donate their entire presidential salary to a charity.
I would ask them why they want to be president."  -- amomalmost40

"We can't afford prescription meds. So called affordable health insurance isn't. We all know that there is no way your health care plans will work in the face our economic situation. What is your plan B concerning healthcare?"  -- daizeedo

"Mr. Obama, please explain exactly why you didn't pick Hillary Clinton as your running mate. Even your running mate Joe Biden says she'd have been the best pick" -- tdalton810

"Do you believe civil servants should be chosen in part on their political ideology?
Would you have voted for Hillary Clinton? If not, why not?
What do you believe should be Congress' role in our governance?
Do you support wholesale use of presidential signing statements, and do you believe they should serve to shield a president or vice president from our laws with which they disagree?
Do you support the Equal Rights Amendment?
What do you believe are the limits of free speech?"  -- cl-llhaesa

"What criteria would you use to decide who to appoint to the US Supreme Court and other Federal appellate courts?
Knowing that the choice issue will be raised in many cases winding their way through the court system now, how important to your decision will the evidence of the candidates' views on choice be?
Are you open to appointing people from the other main political party to your cabinet?
Who do you trust enough to help you make important decisions in your life, be they personal or having to do with your career?"   -- tricia8195

As I expected, there were a lot of really insightful questions posed by our users. What would you ask? What are you hoping will come up in Tuesday's debate? Share your burning questions for the candidates as well as your thoughts on the campaigns so far.

After last week's kick-off to the series of head-to-heads between the Democrat and Republican tickets, many were left wanting a little more spark from both candidates. Many looked to the veep wannabes for the action. The vice presidential debate seemed to have been the most anticipated event of the presidential campaign so far and we were all waiting to see just what would happen in St. Louis last night as Senator Joe Biden and Governor Sarah Palin faced off, with Gwen Ifill (who has inspired some controversy of her own) as moderator.

Overall, iVillagers seemed pleased with the debate, although some were unabashedly disappointed that there were no obvious "train wreck moments". On both sides of the fence most agreed that both candidates did well for their parties, with some acknowledging that Palin performed better than they expected. Others were feeling a little let down that there were no real knock-out blows from either side. Perhaps for the next debate we can switch to an American Gladiators format.

Shortly after the debate ended, reactions flooded into the Politics Today board:

"Palin seems to have gotten her groove back. She is well-briefed but a bit too rehearsed. Joe Biden really knows his stuff. There is no question where the experience is. So far so good with respect to gaffes."  -- maverick7000

"It's exactly how I thought it would be. She would steal the show. And she did. But it does NOTHING to change my vote." -- nenersr

"Palin did very well, even though all I heard all day was how this was such a mismatch. Well, she can handle herself well enough. Much more down to earth than the other 3 candidates. However, this is just a VP debate; I doubt it will change very many votes." -- willat0660

"I agree -- she did better than I thought. Very well-rehearsed. Dodged those areas that she couldn't answer and changed the subject. Very personable. As a teacher, her lack of phonetics irritates me. Using "in" instead of "ing" in most words. 

Biden stumbled some, but displayed a lot of knowledge.  As personable, no, but you could tell he didn't have his answers as rehearsed. They flowed a little more off the cuff in a variety of areas. They both had to drive home certain points and that got annoying.  'Fundamentally', 'Maverick', etc. All in all, I think they both did well." -- lexiesch

"I think Palin did a very good job. I thought Biden's responses were more substantive, but that is to be expected -- he has more years in national politics. I know that Palin's folksiness is very appealing, but it's not my cup of tea. I'm sure her colloquialisms will play very well with her base and perhaps with some independent voters. They likely irritate some others." -- eleeel

"My overall impression is that Biden has a record of service that speaks for itself & he acknowledges that he's had some ideological differences w/Obama in the past, but at least he knows what those differences were!

As for Gwen Ifill, I think she did an admirable job as moderator and did not detect any 'bias' towards either candidate, whatsoever. She also did not give [Palin] a hard time when she wanted to redirect the discussion to her topic of choice. Both candidates displayed lots of 'diplomacy' towards the other. My vote is still with Obama/Biden. I didn't learn anything new & 'maverick' from the McCain/Palin team." -- hbunny06

"I feel that Biden won the debate. Several times Sarah Palin did not even answer the question and I wondered if she just didn't understand it (like the Achilles heel question). I do think Palin did alright, but I still don't believe she really understands half of what she's talking about. And I really can't stand listening to her and her "folksy" speak. I think it makes her sound dumb." -- jet4y

"I believe Palin won this debate. There is a lot of criticism that Sarah Palin was rehearsed, but both of these candidates rehearsed.  I thought it was very obvious when Biden discussed his roots that the delivery was practiced repeatedly.  To me, it seemed like an uncomfortable topic for him, and he had to rehearse the delivery." -- mom48047

"Palin presented herself confidently but substance and solutions were what I as a voter was looking for and in these areas Joe Biden certainly came out ahead." -- ms-mommy

Over the last several weeks the iVillage community has been reacting to recent reports that some parents and guardians have opted to surrender children as old as 17 under a Nebraska safe haven law that is generating a lot of controversy. The first such case involved two boys, ages 11 and 15, who were taken to local hospitals in two separate incidents. This stirred a wave of comments, but the real shock came last week when many were stunned to hear that a Nebraska father dropped off all 9 of his children, ranging in age from 1 to 17, at an Omaha medical center. Reports say that the father was unable to cope with caring for all nine children, being a widower after his wife died of an aneurysm shortly after giving birth to the youngest child. Although it's hard to imagine being in this man's situation, critics have cited the safe haven laws themselves as contributing to these incidents.

All states have enacted some form of legislation that aims to prevent babies from being left in trash cans or similar scenarios, but Nebraska's law is broad enough to cover minor children of any age. Some argue that these broad safe haven laws may encourage overwhelmed parents to unnecessarily abandon older children. Others feel laws that might prevent any child from being put in harm's way, either emotionally or physically, is better than the alternative. iVillagers, while shocked at the idea of abandoning an older child, are markedly torn about these laws.

The moms on the Tons of Kids board know a thing or two about being overwhelmed from time to time, but wonder why there wasn't help before the situation got so bad: 

"He was in over his head and could have used help. It's better to give them up to people who could help than to abandon them with people who could help or abuse them. My heart goes out to everyone involved." -- boyzr4us

"Obviously he was in over his head, like many of us are from time to time. I admit there are times when I have seriously wanted to run away. I agree that I guess its better that he dropped them off where he knew they would be safe, instead of continuing to abuse them (if that's what was going on) or neglect them at home."  -- pink1blue3

"They must have been really desperate, in terrible circumstances. The whole family needs help. I don't want to judge this man without knowing the situation." -- enviromommy

"Wonder why family didn't step up to help before it got to this point?" -- laura_and_the_crew

On the Moms & Politics board, they are seeing some distinct positives about the law, but feel there need to be some adjustments to make it truly useful to families, including the kids involved:

"I see this law as having real benefits, but what I'd really like to see is a viable "cooling down" program that would allow families with severe behavioral issues to get a break... I know that it has the potential to be abused, but I think if even one kid was kept from harm by a program like this, it would be worth it, and it might actually help to make it more viable to keep severely disabled/emotionally disturbed people in their homes with their families, which would be a good thing." -- wallejos

"I'm not sure quite what to make of the law we have here in Nebraska - I don't quite understand why they made it so broad, but if it saves a child from being abused -- then it is a good thing.  However, like just about anything else, some will abuse it. It will be interesting to see how it shakes out, but I hope it doesn't become a 'bailout' for irresponsible parents." -- rtmom08

 

Some point out that a broader law might be able to help a larger number of kids -- but the states' systems are in no way equipped to handle the increased load. Here's one example of this stance from the Parenting Issues Debate board:

"Almost every state's foster care system is already stretched to the limit, and I fear stretching the safe haven law up to teenagers is only going to make that situation worse. While money is part of the issue with foster care, the bigger problem is that there simply aren't enough people out there willing to do foster care, especially for older kids." -- bunnierose

 

What do you think? Should safe haven laws like Nebraska's cover the surrender of older children? Or is there a better alternative? Do these laws only encourage parents to abandon kids prematurely? Sound off here with your take on this hot topic!