Women in the Workplace Suffering Equally

I'm going to be leaving my full-time job of 6 years (not to mention the other 8 years I've been in the work force full-time) to finish my senior year of college and get my bachelor's degree. Finally!

I've been going part-fime for the last 7 years while working full-tme, getting married, buying a house, having two boys, now ages almost 3 and 15 months...It's too much! I make less money now than when I started in real terms, and if I continue part-time, it will be another 3 years of part-time school and limited earning. I think I'll be much better off finishing the degree and seeing where that takes me. Coupled with my experience, I should be in a better place.

It's going to hurt initially - there's been a lot of discussion between me and my husband about this. He would still rather I keep working like I am, status quo. But it's not his decision. It's mine. I'm tired of stagnating at work, being stressed about homework and deadlines, cramming after the kids go to bed, etc. I want to enjoy thier childhood with them - not be a slave to work and school and giving my family a stressed out mom and wife.

SO, from now on, I'll only be juggling family and school for the next 9 months. Does that mean I'm dropping out?

The economy is horrible right now and it is doing a massive amount of damage to EVERYONE..I am a 20 year old young independent mother of my 5 year old daughter. i live on my own, go to school full time and i run my own cleaning service so that i can put food on our table..my daughters childcare and the amount of gas i have to pay for can become very aggravating, stressful, depressing to not be able to do anything other than to work and sleep safely...we have adapted to such lifestyles that require so much..when we really dont need much to live at all. sometimes im stuck a whole week with no cleaning jobs and im hoping i get a call or something before my bank account swipes again. i live check to check so that i can make the most fullfilled healthy life for my daughter. and god forbid im going to let this horrible government we have running us! and our economy ruin the beauty of life. PEACE!

The cost of childcare I think is the number one reason that women are opting out of the workplace. I honestly think employers should be providing some form of assistance for families; either an on-premise daycare for employees where costs are reasonable, or a subsidy if daycare on the premises is not possible. I understand there are costs of running a business but there has to be options that would make it more affordable.

Its been a year since I've Quit my job,due to the fact i no longer have anyone to watch my 2year old son. My plan was to go to school part time and earn a degree in Interior Design but after now having only one income, it just wasn't possible.Being a stay at home mom is something that no one can prepare you for. Your responsibility is great to your house and children (lets not forget the husband) but after the house has been cleaned, dinner cooked, baby put to sleep
than what! As woman we always want more because we know we are capable much more than being a "stay at home mom".After discussing some options with my husband I decided to at least try to find a part time job in my feild of intrest (Interior design)not only for the extra income but for my mental well being.

I am toying with the idea of "dropping out". I'm due with my first child early September and after researching the cost of childcare, my salary ALMOST covers it. Being young without a degree also puts me at a disadvantage. I think it would be a good idea financially and for my new little girl to stay home and resume college (pending grants/financial aid). My significant other (curently holding two part-time positions) needs to replace a part-time with one full-time to pick up the slack. The only problem is, most companies in our area are not hiring for full-time. None of them want to pay for benefits and can hardly pay their employees. For living in such a big city, its amazing how the poor economy is effecting it so dramatically.

Beckie:

I applaud your effort to go back to school and provide your children with a mom who can be there for them. I am worried, though, about your statement concerning your husband's thoughts about this. You sound a bit adversarial, here. Please work this out with your husband. Come to some sort of mutual agreement. He's probably worried about finances in the here and now; you're probably looking more into the future. You obviously have a plan, so show him (if you haven't already) how this is going to play out or, at least, a plan as to how you think both of you can pull it off. If you and your husband cannot work out the finances, then change your plan accordingly. Perhaps, you could start saving a bit of money for a year and then the financial crunch wouldn't be so bad when you did go back to school. Putting off school for year might be plausible, especially if it's going to keep you and your husband in a safe financial situation. I understand how badly you want to finish school. That's great. Just remember to keep a healthy perspective of the overall picture. I didn't have any perspective and, believe me, at 57, I live with the fact that I wasn't there for my son. I also live with the consequences of that. You're a smart woman. Best of luck to you and your family.

Right now I'm not too concerned about my job security, although I do make sure I'm getting everything done in a timely manner as to not be put on any "if we have to let people go, she's one of them" list. My husband works in a union, so his job is pretty secure as well.

When I first had my baby, I was working full time. I decided to quit and be a SAHM because daycare would have taken my whole check. Made no sense.

I would love to be a SAHM again, but I do like having my own little thing and of course we wouldn't be able to survive without my checks.

I am on maternity leave and do not plan to return to my current job. I work retail which is too taxing on my family. While I have great job security in my position, it really is not providing the time I need to spend with my two sons. I will be looking for another job, but I will not settle for something just for a paycheck, so I guess I am dropping out for now.

My husband and I were both let go from our respective jobs the same week in January. He went to work at a much lower rate, MONTHS later. We decided that instead of going back to work I should finish my last year of college. We are so strapped for cash right now, we are falling more and more into debt every month.

Wow. There are so many of us that its almost frightening!
I'm due in 2 weeks with our first baby. About 3 months ago I quit my full time job because we couldn't justify spending $300+ per month for me to drive 35 mins one-way to a job I hated. It just got too stressful and I was on my feet all day long. Now I just have a part time job working about 10 hrs a week 5 mins away. Money wise its been tight, seeing as we're trying to keep up with bills and also pay off as many CC's as possible so that we can be as "debt free" as possible when she arrives.
My husband and I are contemplating what to do when it's "time" for me to go back to work because of child care costs. Thank goodness DH is secure at his job because this economy is horrible. If it wasn't for the HUGE expenses to go to work I'd probably still be working full-time.
Even 3 months ago when the arrival of the baby wasn't in the front of my mind 24/7 we just couldn't justify the cost in gas, food and vehicle maintenence. Now child care is also going to be factored in if I decide to go back to something full-time. So I guess I'm out of the game for right now.

I just started my job in January, at a company I would love to work for more longer term, but my current job is a "foot in the door" type job I am WAY overqualified for. I knew when taking the job that I would be going off the pill soon and that I might have PCOS, but I never figured that I would ovulate once and then stop, and already be at the jumping-off place for more fertility tests and Clomid this soon (only 6 1/2 months after starting the job). I'd thought that might happen, but that it would be later in the year, when I would be close to getting more days off after having been there a year.

As it stands, for a complex set of reasons, I have VERY few days off at all and my boss is all tense about hours because she's got a lot of work pressure right now, making my getting some flexibility to make the doctors' appointments (including just routine stuff like an asthma follow-up and teeth cleaning!) all but impossible. I am starting to REALLY resent that, in practice, my job is starting to dictate how well I can take care of my health and how soon I can start truly trying to get pregnant, given that I need medical intervention to get there!

But, our health benefits are through my job, and COBRA is super-expensive and my husband's company's benefits nowhere near as good as mine, and probably wouldn't kick in for a few months anyway. And I feel really bad at the idea of leaving in much less than a year, since I've had other interruptions in my work history before (caregiving for ill and dying family members, mainly). So it's less about my actual paycheck, and more about my benefits and my needing to try to move my career forward.

Ideally I would get a part-time job with benefits and some flexibility on the hours (to accommodate doctors' appointments) at my current job... but that's probably a serious long shot. So unless I got really lucky and there was such a position open for which I was qualified and hired, I'll probably be scraping together part-time things while trying to get pregnant with the doctors' help. But financially, that will not be so great for us, although my husband said it might be worth it so I'm not going nuts and am able to get my appointments.

Reality is complicated.

I feel for parents with small children, this economy will put the cost of child care beyond the reach of many. It would be nice if companies were able to help with childcare. But things are tough all over. Frankly, if a company wants to offer child care money, they need to offer a matching benefit for those of us without children. Perhaps some kind of flexible spending account?

I'm a daycare provider in western New York. I haven't raised my rates in over three years. I charge one-third the amount that local centers are getting, and I'm still losing clients due to the failing economy. It's getting harder and harder to make ends meet. We've already cut all of the "fluff" from our budget. This is hurting all of us. I feel for my clients that have to choose between staying home with their children or working to pay for their basic living expenses. These days, either way they lose.

It is difficult always having to lower your dreams to meet your means. It is difficult to miss your son's football game because you have to work. It is difficult knowing the rust bucket you call a car is eating you alive in maintenance, but you can't afford a new one. It is difficult to realize that someone else is going to watch your daughter take her first step or have your son say mama to the preschool teacher. It is difficult knowing that you have spent 40 years of your life working for someone else, only to realize that you will be retiring on one-third of what you can live on today. Or, worse yet, it is difficult knowing that you have diligently worked all your life, only to be given an early retirement and replaced by someone younger, more capable.

I say if you can--stay at home with your kids!! They deserve it and they need you way more then any workplace needs you. And not just when they are little, they almost need you more as they get older. As soon as I can get my debt down I will stay home with my girls.

Society has made it more difficult for women to have the option of staying home. Expenses have gone up while salaries really have not. And there is also such inequality in womens v. mens pay it's ridiculous. All women, in my opinion, should have the option of staying home with their kids.

Hi Ladies,

I live up in Canada, but we are certainly starting to feel it too!! I've taken a second job to make sure we are good - and we are planting our own veggies. My advice to anyone who has to stay home is look at starting your own business. I imagine most of you live in the US and there are some great companies in the US that can provide direct selling opportunities. Find one that fits you - I help people have fun in the kitchen while using good quality kitchen tools to make healthy, affordable meals - so the money people spend on their spatualas and food choppers gets compensated when they don't have to buy baby food from the store or take out because they are too tired to make a meal after work.

I have some cool recipes for b-fast if you want to check them out: www.pamperedchef.biz/christinem

Christine

I had my first son almost 5 years ago. I finished college by the time he was 1 and went straight to full time hours at my job. I had a great in home daycare for him that was both close to home and my job so it worked out pretty well. I was very unhappy with my job, but stuck with it for about 2 years after college for a total of 7 years there. I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child around that same time and at about 5 months pregnant made a career change. With that came a pay cut, but I was so unhappy I did it anyway. My husband and I made it work for a while with him working nights and staying home with our newborn until I got home from work, our son stayed in daycare. Having 1 child in daycare is one thing but when you have 2 or more you better be making good money otherwise it just doesn't seem worth it! I have been home with my children for a year now and am now expecting our 3rd child this fall. I do miss working, but know that I am blessed to be able to stay home. It is very stressful on my husband and I financially, but I know it is only temporary. One thing I cannot stand is when people act like we must have so much money since I don't work which is NOT the case...we couldn't afford for me to work! Not only that, but while I love having so much time for my kids I also feel like I am making a sacrafice by staying home, I don't think people realize that. So for all the stay at home mom's who feel like they are going a little crazy and have lost their identity at times....you are not alone!! :)

It is said that what a child learns before he is 5 years old, stays with him for a lifetime. So, I believe, Women should stay at home at least during those most formative years - that is if they are going to care, nurture and train their children like God intended. If women would get out of the workforce, Men would have jobs. As for the single mothers, I understand they must work, however, the single mother got that way by some man, and he should help with the child expenses!!!!!
Childcare, travel to work and usually a better wardrobe costs mount up. So, I'll just bet if we would all sit down and do the numbers, change the habit of haveing the gravy, then finances would be better. The worst thing is people having so much debt. If we paid cash for everything, we'd be better off. Sit down with your payment books and credit cards and see how much interest you are paying each month. Startling isn't it! So, get busy, pay as much as possible on the smallest one, pay minimum plus that month's interest on all the rest. When the smallest one is paid off, put that money on the next smallest one, and so forth. Don't be charging more. Do without! When free from debt maybe except mortgage, if you can't pay cash, don't buy it.
As for the mortgage. Pay this month's whole mortgage payment, then two weeks later pay half the mortgage payment, then by the due date, pay the rest of the payment plus that month's interest. You will be shocked how much interest you will save. When you get all the debts paid, except the mortgage, add to your mortgage payments. After the regular payment, send in more money and tell them it is for principle only.
Drive that car forever. Keep the oil changed, tires inflated correctly, and any preventive maintenance the manufacturor recommends and you can drive it 200,000 miles. We don't have to keep up with the Jones, our children don't have to have $60 jeans, they can get jeans at walmart for $20. Get my drift. Good luck and let us do what our parents, pay as we go. Years and Years ago, a couple bought a piece of land, built a one room home, then as they could added rooms paying cash all the time. They were dry and warm and happy. JMO Silvia

I feel for all the families out there that have to pay for all the high utilities, food prices keep going up, gas up and also the fear that if you morgaged your house you may be homeless soon. I have stayed at home with my two boys for the past 8 yrs and while I have loved every minute of it I do wish I could go back to work. I have done a number to different jobs over the years that I didn't have my kids. I even manged to goto school and become a cna in the hopes that the jobs in the medical field would be paying enough to pay for daycare and gas and uniforms. It didn't work I made 900 dollars a month and that was working double shifts and weekends my daycare for two kids was 1000 a month. There was not way. I had to quit. Then I just tried to find a job for when the kids were in school but the only ones I could find I had to work nights and weekends part-time of course in the retail field. I know that times are tuff I can't remember a time when things haven't been tuff. Even when I was little we had a hard time making ends meet and that was in the 70s and 80s. Anyways I was trying to find something to do at home but there are so many scams that I can't find anything legit. I guess I have to wait till my kids are teens before I can go back to work. I only hope that when my kids are older they don't have all the problems that we as adults are having now.

I am a single mom with two kids, 10 and 5 years old i was fired from my job due to lack of fund but my employer claimed I did not do my job well. I have been with that company for 10 goods years. I worked somany hours without pay because I was a supervisor. I am on unemployment, which is not enough to pay my bills. My children father refused to help support my children. He works under the table so his wages would not be ganished. I am so depressed that I dont know what to do. I am a student at a community college trying to get an associate degree in nursing. I have been out of job for three months now. I have used up all my savings and my children's savings account. I just cant find a job that will meet my needs. I am in a big delima. I need help to find a job. I have placed my resume in somany web site but cannot find a job.

I am working part time while my husband works a full time and a part time job. I have experienced cut backs at work, I was working about 25 hours a week and now I am lucky to get 10 hours a week. I have been looking for a new job for about 6 months now. My husband and I solved the day care issue by working opposing schedules but even that isn't helping much since I have lost 1/2 of my hours at work. Also my son who is 16 was very ill this year and spent about 6 weeks inpatient at the hospital now with the cost of his medicines, doctors, therapy and medical bills(and we HAVE MEDICAL INSURANCE) we are not even coming close to making ends meet and never know from week to week how we are going to put food on the table. My 7 year old is too young to be left at home alone and because of his illness we can't leave her alone with her brother. Something has to change soon because it is sad that we live in a country where so many of us have to struggle to survive and care for our children.

I agree with all these women about the economy, because it can be a serious headache. I'm a single 22 year old mother trying as well, and this is the first year for me that I will have to pay child care for my three year old, and my job barely pays the bills. If I had a choice to stay home, I would with NO HESITATION. I'm also pursuing my degree and I lowered my standards from bachelor to associates so i can hurry and I have something under my belt.I will pursue my bachelors eventually, maybe even masters because I know that's best.

Women are what hold this earth TOGETHER, and its good to see WOMEN trying to make it work instead of GIVING UP. I sometimes wanna stop things in my life because I get so behind, but I know me WALKING BY "FAITH" and NOT BY SIGHT, I will seek my way through any situation. IT WILL GET BETTER FOR ALL OF US, JUST STAY POSITIVE, HAPPY, AND DON'T WORRY. This delay will be over before we know it, this is something I KNOW.

I spent the last 7 years working full time in the summer, part time during the school year and now my son is 11 an entering middle school. My husband is a middle school teacher and he says it's time I went back to work full time because he can pick up the slack, and come home earlier from work, etc. Trouble is, with 7 years of what looks like lots of different jobs (which is true) my qualifications have taken a nose dive. I've been on some interviews, but more than that I haven't received interviews for jobs I know that I am qualified to do with 20 years experience and a master's degree. I am continuing to pursue jobs but it's tough.

Here's my story. My husband was able to get a job that would let me be home full time with our son. So we moved to a new area and I stayed home with our son. Which was an adjustment in it self after working full time for 14 years and then going to full time Mom was a little scary. So we moved and little after a year my husband was laid off. Little scary to say the least. We've had this happen in the passed, but no son and I had a good job. Now we have a son and I have no job. So my husband was able to find a job for less then 10 weeks and that guy laid him off too. Just because he didn't want to pay the headhunter fees. Well before my husband got laid off for the second time I excepted a job as a cake decorator so I have a job which is something. But with the gas prices and just the stress of my husband looking for another job it just gets to you. You try to chalk it up to well things happen for a reason, but sometimes its hard when your worrying about how your going to pay the mortgage and the car. Thank you for letting me vent and I know that all will be well again before you know it (borrowing words from Tanisha Smith. Thanks). Really it all up to the BIG GUY. God Bless.

Here's my story. My husband was able to get a job that would let me be home full time with our son. So we moved to a new area and I stayed home with our son. Which was an adjustment in it self after working full time for 14 years and then going to full time Mom was a little scary. So we moved and little after a year my husband was laid off. Little scary to say the least. We've had this happen in the passed, but no son and I had a good job. Now we have a son and I have no job. So my husband was able to find a job for less then 10 weeks and that guy laid him off too. Just because he didn't want to pay the headhunter fees. Well before my husband got laid off for the second time I excepted a job as a cake decorator so I have a job which is something. But with the gas prices and just the stress of my husband looking for another job it just gets to you. You try to chalk it up to well things happen for a reason, but sometimes its hard when your worrying about how your going to pay the mortgage and the car. Thank you for letting me vent and I know that all will be well again before you know it (borrowing words from Tanisha Smith. Thanks). Really it all up to the BIG GUY. God Bless.

Times are very hard right now economically. All I can say is I raised my children as a single working mom during the 80's and 90's. If I could do it over, I would definitely be an at home mom. It truly does take a whole family to raise a child. I watch my grown children now, and realize how much I and they missed out on due to my need to work. I help my daughter with my first grandchild so she can continue to work, but soon other obligations call on me to help my elderly mother. I will no longer be able to help with the granddaughter. My daughter's plan is daycare at age 1 year, 1month. This is just breaking my heart that this sweet little girl will be in a daycare situation for 9 hours a day 5 days a week. I am trying to talk to my daughter about any possible option of her stayning home as she is also pregnant with #2.

I can relate to all of you. Too bad we can't all rally together and work from home. I wish there was a legitimate way that SAHMs can work from home. That way we are helping our families, taking care of our beloved children, and managing our homes.

Bless all you moms (and dads) who struggle every day to make ends meet. I am trying to learn to live one day at a time, make a goal, and remember that love and devotion to our children and families are worth more than any amount of money.

I know love can't pay bills, and I go back and forth thinking aabout how the bills are going to be paid and how my children are going to cared for. Living from paycheck to paycheck is scary. I can't help to think there has got to be something we can do in this country as citizens and taxpayers to make this issue be known.

Any ideas?

Bless you all you do every day. Remember to stay healthy. If mom aint happy, nobody is.

It is not a problem leaving a job. in fact it is a good idea to stay home through out until the kids are about 5 years so that you can have good contact with the kids and be able to have a close relationship with them.

God bless you

I am a single mother with five children what I must say is that I have struggled with this job to that job for better pay. And have been in system for as long as I remember. One day I said enough is enough and I went back to school It seems like we women have to play catch up because the older we get we still don't have enough money it look like to even retire. We are taking care of the children some by ourselves. But hey we need to contiune to pray and just ask God to give us strength and a career were we are happy at and child care that we can afford. It is a struggle but we can make it with us supporting one another.
gcarter

I have been a stay-at-home Mom for 12 years. I have 4 children ages 12, 11, 8, and 3. My husband is retired from the Air Force due to him having an accident at work and he can't get a job because it will affect his social security income he gets. I am really thinking about going back to work part time because things are really tight here. My only concern is that my husband can't drive and he wouldn't be able to pick our daughter up from preschool and my kids are in sports and I don't know how I would get them back and forth to their games and practices. My other concern is that the medication my husband is on tends to make him really sleepy and he just falls asleep sometimes and I don't want to have to worry about my daughter being here with him and him falling asleep. I can't afford to put my daughter in childcare while I am working because it would just defeat the purpose to work and barely make anything after I paid for daycare. It is like a double edged sword. I just wish I could find a job that I could do from home. I wish all you ladies luck in either finding a job or making the decision to stay home and hopefully our economy will bounce back soon.

I was just checking in on this message board, I posted previously. It's terrible that all of us (and I'm sure many more) are faced with this dilemma. We all need to be really resourceful at this time and find as many programs to help us that we can. For those of you trying to go back to school (like me), check out grants and scholorships and not run to financial aid (which will just increase your debt)... find out if you're eligible for pell grants... all these things are there to help us and we need to take advantage of them in a time of need.

Good luck ladies!

It's really upsetting that so many of us are in similar positions, and the government is overlooking so much, and families are left with cost burdens everywhere from groceries and fuel cost, high interest rates, pay cuts and lay offs. I feel like I have made a responsible choice in getting married before becoming pregnant, although the government would only help me if I were not. My pregnancy was emotionally planned, but in terms of financial security- I should have chosen a workplace years ago that at least offered short term disability. I'll use unpaid FMLA because that is my only option. However, I have contacted over 50 local home daycare options, and all are way out of my league financially. I suppose the only option I have is to stay with child while hubby works in the day and find someplace (hopefully nearby) for evening hours. We share a mortgage and are still paying on our wedding over a year ago! It doesn't seem that I am eligible for any assistance and my family all moved within the last few years. If you have any ideas- I welcome them!

This is for Kim who wishes she can work from home. Here is some information about something you can do at home. Its called Alpine Access here is their website www.alpineaccess.com. I received an email from my MOPs group letting us know about this job opportunity. I have gone thru the process and was not what they wanted, but who knows give it a try. This might be what your looking for. Good luck.

I agree with so many of you that the best thing for the kids is if you, the mom, can stay home at least until they are school age. But of course some of us can't. I have been looking at so many alternatives and really feel that I've found the best, most economical and most family oriented option in using an au pair. Has anyone tried this?