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No More Hula for Talula
At iVillage, we love talking about baby names. Whether it's what our expectant moms are planning to name their bundles of joy, or what unusual monikers celebrities have come up with for their tykes, we can't seem to stop commenting about them. I think we're obsessed with names, especially when they're a little ... crazy. The more outrageous the better, I say. But how outrageous is too outrageous? It seems like we all know someone (or know someone who knows someone's cousin) with a really outlandish name we wouldn't wish on our worst enemy. Would a rose by any other name *really* smell as sweet? Maybe not in New Zealand, where a judge has placed a 9-year-old girl under the guardianship of the court until she is renamed. The name in question? Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. Seriously. Let that sink in a bit. Not only does Talula do the hula, but let's not forget it's from Hawaii. Yes, that entire sentence is the name apparently given to her by her parents, who are now in the midst of a custody battle. I admit I was a little taken aback when I read this story and thought that perhaps some people in New Zealand are even more out than I thought -- or maybe they just have a better sense of humor than the rest of us? (Remember last year's case of "4real"? Also from New Zealand.) Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh; after all, no one had a problem with "Dances with Wolves". And then, after I thought, "Well it's really none of my business what they name their kid..." I thought, "I wonder what the folks on our boards have to say about this?" And here we are.
From Playgroups and Expecting Clubs to debate boards, everyone has a little something to say about the latest round of the name game. Most, like those on the Frugal Families board, think the name is way overboard, but had a few interesting names to share that they'd run across over the years.... like "Candy Barr" or "Shanda Lear". Wow. And to think sometimes I'd get upset that my relatively-common-but-alternatively-spelled name never showed up on those racks of personalized pencils or keychains at the discount store during back-to-school time.
On the Current Debates board, the sentiment is much the same, but they're also concerned that the government dictating what names are allowed is a little too intrusive. One member, sisfox, sums it up:
"I think this is a case of the government WAY overstepping boundaries."
Then she goes on to say:
"I'm not saying that parents should purposefully give their kids awful names. But I don't think it's the government's place to take custody of the child and rename it.
Where does it stop? I think Prudence and Horace are pretty awful names. Should the government remove children with those names from their homes because it's "abuse"?"
However, karin_n counters:
"While I agree that Prudence and Horace are pretty awful names, I'd hardly call it abusive to give someone such a name. They are, after all, names. Talula does the Hula from Hawaii sounds more like a bad porn movie."
Just for the record (and especially for clarification of any of our readers named Prudence or Horace), I think those are lovely names and the above comments don't reflect how *I* feel about these names. Ahem.
Moms of the March 2005 Playgroup are split about the right of a court to change a name. From sunnysocalmom:
"I may be in the minority here - but I don't think the government has, at any point or any time - the right to tell us what to name our children."
imadesphousewife agrees, saying:
"Although I feel *awful* for the poor kids that get stuck with hideous names, I don't think it's the government's place to step in and change it. I'd much rather see that effort go towards kids who are being neglected or abused."
Another March 05 mom, cara2178, points out an important distinction in this particular case:
"This child was involved in a custody battle. At the age of 9, she was probably interviewed regarding the custody situation and then also asked about her name. She was said to be terribly embarrassed. Should she have lived with the embarrassment until she was 18 so that she could legally change her name herself then? I don't think so. The judge made the right call in this case IMO."
What do you think? Was this name over the top enough to warrant judicial intervention? Is there ever a name so awful it should be changed no matter what? Have you ever changed your name or wished you had? I want to know what you think -- and of course am dying to hear what odd names you've encountered in your life.
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Parents need to remember that the child will be the one to live with the name; I know other kids can assign nicknames no matter what name a child has but I'd rather make my child less of a target and not go to extremes. The government stepping in? I think it depends on the extreme.
In the 70s when it was trendy to be 'unusual', a couple named their baby Amchitka after the island.. big Greenpeace story about Amchitka Island but baby made the news!
Well I DO live in New Zealand, and I have to say that the general consensus here is that the name is unfair to the child and needs to be changed. This is a court ruling that was given in February, and that the media has only just found out about. By now, the girl probably has a more acceptable name, and is back in her parents' custody.
Other names that children in New Zealand have been given, include:
Unregistered Names
"Number 16 Bus Shelter"
"Benson & Hedges"
"Fish & Chips"
"Sex Fruit"
"Masport & Mower"
"Yeah Detroit"
"Twisty Poi"
Registered Names
"Benson & Hedges"
"Spiral Cicada"
"Hitler"
"Cinderella Beauty Blossom"
BTW, I have an uncle called Horace. Prudence and Horace might not be common names now, but they are names given to previous generations, and were considered normal back in their day.
I have an unusual name and I have never regretted it. I loved knowing that I was the only person in school, town, etc with my name. Yes, I do have to continually spell, pronounce, and explain it to people but I wouldn't change it for anything! In fact when I was 16 I met someone on vacation with the same first name as me. I was so sad that I was not the only one that name that I cried for weeks. Needless to say I feel blessed that my mother felt compelled to give my my unique name.
One aspect of freedom is the freedom to do things which other people find utterly incomprehensible. To call this abuse is to make light of those things that are done to children that are truly abusive. Save the hyperbole for instances that warrant it. Unless the child initiated this, I feel it's an intrusion and a waste of valuable court time. Note: I once hated my name because people got it wrong all the time, so I shortened it for a while. Problem solved.
I don't think that a child should be taken away from parents just based off of the name. At least she can shorten her name to just Talula (what is 4real going to do?); who calls someone by their full name anyway? Although I don't think a sentence should be considered a name, I don't think that warrants taking away the kid entirely.
Also, who gets to decide what name makes a kid less of a target? Candi is now a pretty common name, but once the boys hit puberty, the sexual comments come out. Ashley was once a boy's name, but now it's a girls. Guys named Ashley have been teased. Which brings me to something I just want to get off my chest. Why in the world would people name their son Guy? How uncreative can you be? I'm sure someone out there is named Guy: Did your parents name your dog "Dog"?
It was insensitive of the parents to name their child "Talula does the Hula from Hawaii". Parents do have the right to raise their children in certain ways, but they do not - and should not - have the right to subject their children to embarrassment and ridicule just because they want to be 'cool' or unusual. The child herself refused to be known by that name. She wanted it changed, and the judge did the right thing by helping her change it.
I think taking a child away from her parents was a bit harsh. IMHO Talula is a nice name. I don't know about the rest of the sentance, but kids do tend to chose their own nicknames. My daughter Tomica-Rea prefers to go by Mica. No problems there.
I have a friend who named her son after her Grandfather Percival Francis.... now to me, I always think of the song Percy the Punny Poinsetta.
As for the poster that said who would name their dog.. dog. I did, it's DeeOGee.
Here, Guy is a common name. But in French (everyone is French here) it doesn't mean "male". It's just a name. (pronounced Ghee not like we say guy in English)
By the sounds of it the little girl wanted her name changed and maybe she managed to get help to change it, i think her parents should be ashamed of them selves, yes Talula is a really sweet name but the rest come on!!! that name does not say love to me, it's taking the micky out of her, they may as well have sent her to school with Bully Me on her head!! Every one knows how cruel kids can be I think Celebs go way to far coming up with stupid names, they don't want publicity (so they say) but then name a kid something stupid so you take extra notice. and want to know what parents named there kids the stupid name. There is a little boys at my cilds nursery called Boy!!! spelt Boy!!! what happened couldn't remember if he was a boy!! I came back in giggles when i heard that name, and every time i heard "good boy Boy" I couldn't help but smile! Why do that??? It's just mean. I kept my giggles to my self but what happens when he goes to big school, 2/1 he gets laughed at! You love your children you care for there welfare it starts in a name!!
Have you seen this? It made me LOL!
http://bestparentever.com/2008/03/13/2-dumb-baby-names-2/