Would You Let Your Child Take Public Transportation Alone?

Children should should be guided till they are twelve years and above

Generations ago, we played outside until the street lights came on... roaming the neighborhood looking for adventure. Was it safer back then? I believe it was. There was no internet - a tool that has exploded violent crimes, pedifiles, and the porn industry. People who become addicited to child-porn have unlimited access to feed their hunger. The problem lies when the hunger grows to a level bigger than the computer screen. These psychotic animals take their thirst to the streets and prey on our children. They troll neighborhoods looking for kids that aren't under the watch of adults. The 60's, 70's and 80's are over. We were lucky to grow up feeling safe... I don't want my kids knowing what a scary world it can be - so until I'm ready to have that conversation, I'll happily sit outside on a chair while they play under the warm spring sunshine.

Well, I can understand where the writer comes from with her feelings that she wishes that kids could walk home in a city and be fine. Her intentions were good, but I can see where her child could get into trouble. I'm just trying to respect this lady's decision on how to raise her kid. I would have preferred a buddy system where my kid would be with another group of kids or an older child, but if she feels like this is how her kid should get home fine. She probably went through the trial and error process in her head and in her judgment thought the positive experiences would outweigh the negative. The concert thing is an over exaggeration. Just because you let your kid out to walk home doesn't mean you'll let them take ecstasy at 10. She feels that her kid should learn the responsibilities of getting home okay. I mean I wouldn't want people to tell me how to raise my kid.

This subway thing was ridiculous. I spent years riding the DC metro and encountered quite a few scary situations. There are ALL KINDS of crazy people in cities who are extremely volatile. One situation in particular that I faced comes to mind where a man got on the train who was obviously insane. He was carrying on an entire, loud argument with himself. Everyone was kind of looking at him but it just happened that the moment I looked at him, he looked in my direction and saw me. He then proceeded to start screaming obsenities at me. As an adult, I had the experience and maturity to act appropriately to get away and protect myself. How can you possibly expect a 9 year old to be able to handle a situation like that?!?! It's deplorable that this mother would even THINK of putting a CHILD in a situation where something like this could happen. What if someone had come at him the way this man came at me? Was he magically going to know what to do to protect himself just because Mommy gave him a map of the subway and $20?

Um...the NYPD has started carrying sub machine guns on the subway and there is a reason for it. There are some insane, evil, perverse , criminal and seedy people on the NYC subway. That woman is insane.

I can understand giving children more freedom in letting them ride bikes with their friends around a subdivision but a SUBWAY??? Sounds to me like an overworked mother who didnt have time to give the proper attention to her kid and then decided to use it to further her career in a story!

Um...the NYPD has started carrying sub machine guns on the subway and there is a reason for it. There are some insane, evil, perverse , criminal and seedy people on the NYC subway. That woman is insane.

I can understand giving children more freedom in letting them ride bikes with their friends around a subdivision but a SUBWAY??? Sounds to me like an overworked mother who didnt have time to give the proper attention to her kid and then decided to use it to further her career in a story!

I think that too many people are overreacting to one mother's choice. I think there is a big leap between not allowing your "10 year old go two blocks to the high school to ride his bike by himself" and then this child in NYC wanting to go to a concernt in Jersey by himself. And if he does want to go, you can always play the "NO" card; the "because I'm your mom and I said no" card.

As a young child I was allowed the freedom to ride all over our neighborhood, by myself, on my ten speed. I didn't have friends that lived close by and my parents worked, so I didn't have the luxery of having them drive me 25 miles to see a friend on a regular basis. I learned my neighborhood, I learned how to be by myself and how to be happy that way. I had boundaries, areas that I couldn't go, and I stuck to them. I do think that as parents we tend to coddle our children today, right or wrong, but I don't think we have the right to criticize an intelligent women for a considered choice involving her offspring.

You know, have you looked at society these days? Now, of course I am not speaking about all parents, but in general, kids are allowed way too many courtesies and freedoms these days. They are not raised with manners such as respect others, and other's properties. So it really does shock me to my core to hear all the hype about "are parents being too protective? Too coddling?" Have you looked around? Honestly--the world is NOT the same place it was 40, 30, or even 20 years ago. It is one thing to raise your child to be an uplifting, responsible adult when the age is appropriate. It's quite another to be irresponsible with your child-rearing. And who is the judge of it all--what's ok and what's not? Well, other than lawful and unlawful, yes, it is your choice, but wake up and look at what the choices are doing to society. I am 30 years old, have two children, and already I feel like a grumpy, sour, old lady because of the disrespect and horrible manners I see in kids that have been given way too many freedoms.

You know, have you looked at society these days? Now, of course I am not speaking about all parents, but in general, kids are allowed way too many courtesies and freedoms these days. They are not raised with manners such as respect others, and other's properties. So it really does shock me to my core to hear all the hype about "are parents being too protective? Too coddling?" Have you looked around? Honestly--the world is NOT the same place it was 40, 30, or even 20 years ago. It is one thing to raise your child to be an uplifting, responsible adult when the age is appropriate. It's quite another to be irresponsible with your child-rearing. And who is the judge of it all--what's ok and what's not? Well, other than lawful and unlawful, yes, it is your choice, but wake up and look at what the choices are doing to society. I am 30 years old, have two children, and already I feel like a grumpy, sour, old lady because of the disrespect and horrible manners I see in kids that have been given way too many freedoms.

I don't think the mom in New York City made a bad decision at all. People who don't live in the city don't necessarily know what it's like. I think parents today are WAY overly cautious. I have a friend who lives in suburbia in VT and was nervous about her daughter walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail. It's definitely different from the way I grew up, which was basically "go outside and play." Mom Mom didn't need to know what I was doing or where I was going every minute of the day---we were able to "roam" the neighborhood a bit.

okay we'll first let me start off by saying that i think 9 was too young. second thing...i agree with her thinking. i can remember when i was 11 and walking across town to go to school and that was the norm...everyone did it. i realize that today's society is alot different now, but i believe that if we teach our children correctly they will know what to do in any situation. the subway is a VERY public place, i would think that it would be okay...again, if the child was just a little older. my children are 12 and 5 and i have left my 12 year old home alone before and i have left him home in charge on my 5 year old..only for a short time (1 hour), but they know not to answer the door and only answer the phone if my number of there dad's number shows up.
i think people need to take a step back and look at other peoples situations before we judge.

I have mixed feelings about this situation. I am the mother of a 16 year boy and I protected him too much (I think) and now he is rebelling and getting into trouble. I think we should have given him more freedom than his father and I did. I just think about how I came and went when I was his age and what time I came home etc. I realize it's a different world than in the early 80s, but maybe we're stifling our kids.

I have mixed feelings about this situation. I am the mother of a 16 year boy and I protected him too much (I think) and now he is rebelling and getting into trouble. I think we should have given him more freedom than his father and I did. I just think about how I came and went when I was his age and what time I came home etc. I realize it's a different world than in the early 80s, but maybe we're stifling our kids.

I strongly believe that we should teach our children a little at a time how to handle independence in the hustle of our nation's toughest city. However, I believe that 9 may still be a little young. I would not risk my daughter at such as early age. However NYC citizens are a different breed. My husband if from NY and enjoyed many of the same responsibilities as navigating NYC at an early age. It may be a common place event for New Yorkers.

I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old. I don't think I would allow them to ride the subway alone, but I do agree that this generation is being coddled. I've often thought, how will these kids be able to survive with the way their parents are doing everything for them? Their parents take the bulk of responsibility for school projects, have to be constantly in touch with cell phones, and are constantly defending their loveable, but yes GUILTY children when they do wrong by moms with a 'Not my child' attitude. Let them be independent, let them walk to the neighborhood store or around the block, let them fend for themselves and take a punishment when they do wrong. Better they find out what all that feels like now, while they do have their parents around to love them and protect them, then later in life when it is not so easy, and other adults expect them to act responsibly. Like I said, the subway in New York might not be my way to show my 9 year old how to be independent, but bravo for a mom who was willing to take a deep breath and teach her child self reliance & independance.

I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old. I don't think I would allow them to ride the subway alone, but I do agree that this generation is being coddled. I've often thought, how will these kids be able to survive with the way their parents are doing everything for them? Their parents take the bulk of responsibility for school projects, have to be constantly in touch with cell phones, and are constantly being defended even when they do wrong by moms with a 'Not my child' attitude. Let them be independent, let them walk to the neighborhood store or around the block, let them fend for themselves and take a punishment when they do wrong. Better they find out what all that feels like now, while they do have their parents around to love them and protect them, then later in life when it is not so easy, and other adults expect them to act responsibly. Like I said, the subway in New York might not be my way to show my 9 year old how to be independent, but bravo for a mom who was willing to take a deep breath and teach her child self reliance & independance.

I read many of the comments on the board. And everyone made some really good points. My thought is every child is different. They mature at differently some quicker than other. I personally was a latch key child by 9 yrs old and I walked to and from school everyday. We lived in CA., my parents made the rules abundantly clear. And not following them meant strict consequences. My parents also taught me how to be street smart as well. Which was mind your business, use your mannors always, don't talk to strangers. Never get in someone's car you don't know, regardless of what they say to convince you. And run like hell and scream you fool head off should they try to approach you. And most importantly be aware of your surroundings and the people in it. Granted that was over 20 yrs ago. But it is the same basic rules I teach my children. Would I let them ride a subway at 9 yrs old? HELL NO! Because I don't feel they are mature enough or have the common sense to do so. But I do let them ride their bikes up the street to their friends house. I believe teaching them how to use common sense and some basic street smarts. As well as allowing small maturity and age appropriate freedom is a good thing. Key words are common sense and maturity. I find alot of children today have absolutely NO COMMON SENSE what so ever. If you really think about it common sense is what you use most in life. I have adult friends that lack common sense. They struggle quite a bit. My point here is my children's freedom is based on their ability to use common sense, maturity and age of course. And most importantly knowing the differnce between right and wrong

I don't think most parents here know what they're talking about. Saying that things are so dangerous these days. When the facts say the opposite. Crime is way lower than it was in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Relatively speaking, decades ago were far more dangerous times - and yet parents weren't insanely paranoid about letting their children actually roam, have fun, and learn on their own. If you shelter and protect a child too much, they'll never grow up. Some people forget the whole point of parenting - to prepare a child for being able to take care of themselves when they grow up.

This mother is asking for her son to be grabbed, or mugged. How traumatic. Just pin a note on his collar that says, free child for the taking. What an idiot of a mother!

I think that parents today are overly cautious, but I am not going to judge the NYC mom, since I do not know all the circumstances.
I can only hope that in the future we can get to that point of being comfortable making those kinds of decisions. Growing up in Romania, I was left alone at 7, and walked to school with my 8 year old sister. We even locked the door and crossed a double line street. Nobody thought anything of it, because I was not the only child doing it. Nobody was taken to school by car back then. Now I am 40, and when I visit, I see moms driving their kid to school. I think is still safe, but is a trend, and it definitely does not help the mom's or child's waistline, or the child self reliance.

The times for letting your children go out to play unattended is over. When children are attacking other children with fatal consequence you know that ship has sailed. Not to mention the adults preying on children. Teachers, coaches,and Police Officers having relations with children- that ship has sunk. My child will be nine this year I was actually wondering when will I let him ride public transportation alone. He takes one bus to school then would have to walk 2 blocks alone. I still haven't decided, but I can assure you he will not be on any subway alone. The buddy system someone mentioned sounds a lot better, in fact it was utilized by my mom when I went out to parties as a teen. I grew up in Brooklyn, went to high school in the city rode the Subway since I was 9 or 10. I do remember some very scary situation. Shoot-out on the A train due to domestic squabbles, which involved me hiding under the seat on the train, not to mention the robberies, the pervert who gratify themselves in front school age children. Of course my mom knew nothing of all these things (being a quiet kid who keeps most things to myself). I won't let my child travel alone until at least preteens and that's within the borough. I do think sometimes I hold on to him too much, but letting go has to be within reason. His Safety is my first concern.

we have a recent post on our blog about taking public transportation with kids and babies.

our philosophy is that if you start 'em young, taking public transit will be a part of their everyday lives. this is one of the points the NYC mom was making, I think. taking the subway wasn't some big exciting thing... he had done it lots of times before.

i am not quite sure exactly when i'll let our kids do it alone... but the first couple of times i will probably TELL them they are going by themselves but put on a disguise and lurk after them...haha.

that is madness! 9 years old, yes I saw that on the news. wow I do have a question though, my niece is 13 going on 14 y.o. and she's starting high school and has to start taking public transit (bus or train) preferably bus she says and I'm even worried for her! but that's a good age to start... ?

I am appaud by this whole thing... Now a days you pray that you can let your children ride their bikes in their own neighborhoods and not get snatched and you are allowing your 9 year old child to ride the subway by himself with all of the crazy people for an open invitation to get snatched- you are stupid and foolish and should be ashamed of yourself and God forbid if something ever happens to your child because of your disregard for his safety and the selfish attitute that you have as a parent! Because CLEARLY you are not thinking of your child!