Politicians and Infidelity

I am soooooo tired of the double standards regarding politics/religion, men/women, right/wrong. This guy is like any other creep who has a wife/family and chooses to go outside the marriage for sex. A dog. Simply put.

I feel bad for the governor's wife, and for their daughters. I think Silda should definitely leave her husband. He cheated, he lied, he put her health in danger by being with prostitutes, and caused much pain to his family.

I don't know why she is standing by him either,everyone can see the look on her face, distraught,hurt,disappointment,shame, I'm sure I only named a few. I wish i could tell her to leave him and get some help for herself so she can heal, not him. Give herself some time. She needs to come first and standing beside him doesn't include that. If they work out their marriage eventually then that is great. But it is not going to happen overnight. That is why she needs to physically leave the marriage to find out and figure her own life out. I really do feel for her. Because the same thing happened to me 2 years ago , and for me I can say the best thing was physically leaving separate houses, and we did get back together. We had to get to know each other again, and had to see if we truly loved each other, because that is the only thing that counts in the end-love. Anyway we dated again and he is my best friend, I got to know a whole new person, that I really didn't know before. We respect each other and I am more in love than I ever thought I could be. Truly happy too. All the best to Mrs. SPitzer

I believe this family really needs some counseling in order to get through this ordeal. I am sure his wife is doing some really soul searching right now. It is going to take along time for this family to heal. My heart goes out to his daughters and his wife. How dare him shame his family. What kind of man is he? Not a really man in my eyes.

Dump the scumb bag! He obviously had no regard for her when he began pimping himself out. Too many women stay with men who lie, cheat and act in other ways that disgrace themselves and their loved ones. He doesn't deserve her.

No way should she have stood by them, he doesn't deserve it. It's weird that she could, makes you wonder about political marriages. It just seems like such a farce, you know she must hate him, and yet she stands there anyway. Actually makes me completely lose respect for her too. Be true to yourself and kick that sleazebag to the curb!!

I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE THINKING THAT WHEN A HUSBAND MESSES UP THAT THE WIFE SHOULD STAND BY THEM. HE WAS NOT WORRYING ABOUT HIS WIFE OF CHILDREN WHEN HE WAS OUT THERE CHEATING SO NOW I DON'T THINK THAT SHE WORRY ABOUT HIM NO I DON'T THINK THAT SHE SHOULD STAND BY HIM HE DID NOT WANT HER TO STAND BY HIM WHEN HE WAS SLEEPING WITH THAT GIRL SHE SHOULD LEAVE HIM AND TAKE HIM FOR EVERY THING THAT HE HAS

I think she should definitely leave him. If it were vice versa, the husband would've dumped her in a minute. I wish women could be stronger.

Whether she leaves him or stays with him, is her business. People need to quit judging this woman. She didn't do anything wrong.

I believe a wife's inital reaction is to do whatever to save her marriage, family, and lifestyle. I had always felt like a lot of your viewers that she should leave her husband. No one should go through that embarrassment. However, until you are personally put into that situation you truly do not know what you will do.

My husband has cheated twice and the first time I was concerned with keeping my family (I have two small children at that time) together. The second time my children are teenagers and again he has decided that he does not want the responsiblity of a family he would prefer singlehood - young girls, dating, etc. and now once the shock of having to deal with this yet again I realized that I must realize what message my husband was giving my son and what message I was giving my daughter. I was telling my son that it was okay to treat women this way and my daughter was getting the message that she should accept this behavior. I decided that this was not the message I wanted either of my children to receive.

All of this said to say only the woman in the situation can truly decide what is right for her at that specific time. I only hope she has wonderful family and friend support as well as a relationship with God. Because she will need all of the love and support that she can get.

My prayers are with her.

She looks so ashamed up there standing with him. Even though I think it is totally not her fault and she did nothing wrong, if it were me in her shoes, I have to much pride to muster up enough strength to stand by him and let him apologize to the public. I don't see how she doesn't just burst into tears. I'm sure she is having a very hard time with her on emotions, and thinking of what to say to her daughters when they are old enough to understand. I am also curious to what kind of sex he had to have to spend $5000 dollars on. She should definately leave him because he not only cheated on her... he put her health in danger and now he is in danger of being put in jail. This is not a "personal" matter as he said. The reason he was exposed is because he broke the law and should be harshly dealth with because he is a hypocrit.

It takes 2 to destroy a relationship. There was obviously something she was contributing.

His wife isn't stupid...he loses his job she loses her money.
And where was she when this was all going down? You can't tell me she didn't suspect something! A man staying out all night...and the day before Valentine's Day? Come on. Big paycheck, big house, big cars, fancy clothes...who would want to lose that? Unfortunately, the kids take the blow. Sad.

He should be man enough to say to her...."you can't stand next to me." Instead of trying to make himself look good by treating her like some statement....

Hey Anonymous!

This is NOT about the wife. Get over it. He's scum.

And she would be just fine, money-wise, on her own. She's got a law degree from Harvard.

He is only sad he got caught. Now if this were a year ago I think fine he would be a little more sorry BUT he just hooked up with this girl last month and he has spent nearly $80,000 total in prostitution is what they are estimating...He is a disgusting pig and even more so a Hypocrite. She will make whichever choice she needs to because everyone always says I wouldn't if I were her but there are hurt feelings, betrayal and trust so whichever she chooses it is what is best for her. But he needs to be prosecuted for this. I wonder what will happen to all of the escorts and people involved...We will see...

Beantown,

Get over your attitude. If you read other comments they were all about the wife. Personally it's not my biz or anyone elses...I just wanted to light a fire and obviously it worked.

Get over yourself.

This question of women standing by their political husbands has been really bugging me. Silda Spitzer looked she was going to faint, or cry, during the whole resignation speech. I'm wondering, I think like most of you, why she was there. This story on the Web site findingDulcinea http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/politics/March-April-08/Why-Do-Political-Wives-Support-Misbehaving-Husbands-.html
talks about Silda and gives background and insight on other women such as Dina McGreevey who also were thrust into the negative spotlight. It was cool-but depressing to hear the perspectives of these women.

Ahhh yes, Anonymous.

It's none of your business yet you choose to say "There was obviously something she was contributing... And where was she when this was all going down?"

Hmmmm.

Right. And other commenters are talking about the wife, but not blaming her and stating that she's staying in the relationship for the money -- like yourself. The woman is obviously going through hell right now; your statements are in bad taste.

I don't understand why anyone cares. Its her husband, her family, her life, her right. If she wants to leave the man, she leaves. If she wants to stay, she stays. In the end its whatever makes her happy. Period. I for one have my own husband and family to worry about than to make a decision on someone elses marriage.

I don't understand why anyone cares. Its her husband, her family, her life, her right. If she wants to leave the man, she leaves. If she wants to stay, she stays. In the end its whatever makes her happy. Period. I for one have my own husband and family to worry about than to make a decision on someone elses marriage.

Heck NO she should not stand by him! He didn't want her to stand by him when he was making suspicious bank transfers to be with his skank. And better yet, he definitely didn't want her there to see what the skank was doing with him that could be worth thousands of dollars an hour!

GET SMART WOMEN!!!!!! THE MORE WE ALLOW THIS THE MORE WE SUBJECT OURSELVES TO BEING TREATED AS OBJECTS FOR A MAN'S PLEASURE!!!!!! WHEN WILL WE GET IT?

SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO STAND UP THERE BY HIS ARROGANT SELF!

The vagina is the downfall of man since the begninng of time. They will risk everything for it. Those dumb farts don't get it either!

I heard it put like this....the Spitzer case was a matter of
EGO, OPPORTUNITY, ENTITLEMENT, STATUS, AND THE THRILL OF THE CHASE!

I don't think the wife had anything to do with that!

I dont understand why the guy has sex with a call girl and it is the end of the world to be perfectly honest...who really cares. did it hurt anyone in new york? i mean did it really do any serious personal damage to specific people?? Let the wife and family hash it out in private and let the man keep his job. If he was really doing stuff to screw up the state like say spending money that wasnt his on a call girl then maybe there is a problem but really if it is his own money get over it!!!! your husbands could be out with one right now for all you know!!! i think that there is sooooo much more we could be worrying about then who this guy or anyone else is sleeping with. How about the hungry or homeless or people who have to quit their jobs because they cant afford the gas to get there!! WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THEN STUPID STUFF THAT DOESNT MATTER TO ANY OF US BUT HIS FAMILY!!!!!

I dont understand why the guy has sex with a call girl and it is the end of the world to be perfectly honest...who really cares. did it hurt anyone in new york? i mean did it really do any serious personal damage to specific people?? Let the wife and family hash it out in private and let the man keep his job. If he was really doing stuff to screw up the state like say spending money that wasnt his on a call girl then maybe there is a problem but really if it is his own money get over it!!!! your husbands could be out with one right now for all you know!!! i think that there is sooooo much more we could be worrying about then who this guy or anyone else is sleeping with. How about the hungry or homeless or people who have to quit their jobs because they cant afford the gas to get there!! WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THEN STUPID STUFF THAT DOESNT MATTER TO ANY OF US BUT HIS FAMILY!!!!!

Why do we care if this guy sleeps with a call girl????I know he is suppose to be an example but he is also human!!! I am not saying what he did was right but at the same time did anyone in new york get hurt by sleeping with her??? I mean other then his family? Did it effect anyone out side of that? was anyones life altered becasuae he had to go outside his marriage? did it change how well he was running things?? Make him step down if he was using state money to pay for it but not if he did it on his time with his money. No one is perfect and i really think instead of making it a public matter we should let his wife and family deal with it on their own not as a nation. as a nation we should be worrying about the raising price of gas and the fact that people are starving becasue they have to decided between the job the gas and the food. Lets not make this guys personal issue the topic that REALLY MATTERS when there is sooo much more we could care about.

Lets remember ladies and gentlemen that this woman is a HARVARD LAW GRADUATE and the wife of our "governor" If she had no idea what he was doing I will eat both my shoes!

Lets remember people that this woman is a HARVARD LAW GRADUATE and the wife of the "governor" If she had no idea what he was doing I will eat both my shoes!

The thing that makes me sick, is the fact that he has tried to condemn and used his political power to shame on prostitution and yet now we find out he had personal and sexual involvement with a prostitution ring. sick bastard. as for his wife, if there weren't children involved i would would be completely embarrassed to see her standing by his during this time. however, with children involved and a public family image at stake, i commend her for being a mother and a GOOD wife, something that he could not understand as a husband to her.

The thing that I can't understand is how these women stand next to their men at press confrences. What ever she ultimatly decides to do is one thing ( I would leave for sure) but to stand up there next to them ,supporting them as they air out their dirty laundry makes me sick. He did it, let him face the press on his own why should she have to stand there like an idiot next to him, it's just not right. It really makes me wonder what is said to these women that actually makes them go along with doing it. I remember thinking the same thing with the kobe bryant and jim mcgreevy scandals. I know no one is perfect but it is such a shame that so many men do this to their families. Besides his wife he has also disgraced his daughters, how sad!

The thing that I can't understand is how these women stand next to their men at press confrences. What ever she ultimatly decides to do is one thing ( I would leave for sure) but to stand up there next to them ,supporting them as they air out their dirty laundry makes me sick. He did it, let him face the press on his own why should she have to stand there like an idiot next to him, it's just not right. It really makes me wonder what is said to these women that actually makes them go along with doing it. I remember thinking the same thing with the kobe bryant and jim mcgreevy scandals. I know no one is perfect but it is such a shame that so many men do this to their families. Besides his wife he has also disgraced his daughters, how sad!

On the one hand- this guy is acting upon basic primal instincts. On the other hand - he is a human being who ought to know better. Life is based on 2 things: circumstances and fate. His circumstances greatly outweigh his fate. As a married man, life should revolve around his family. The fact of the matter is that he left his familial decisions to an outside party. However sad that may be, an $80,000.00 tab really brings things into perspective. How his wife actually has the stength to stand by such a person is beyond me - I really do not think the best message is being sent.

Harvard Law Graduate & NY Litigator or not, she has still been humiliated in front of everyone. She is standing by her husband because as a high profile person she may believe that she should just to save face. Her daughters will not be able to put on their resumes or use their blue-blooded connections when people remember that their father is a "john". The former governor is only apologizing because he got caught. He's not sorry for paying thousands of dollars for sex to strange women. Published reports say that he has spent $80,000 over the last year on these women. But let's remind ourselves that that amount is probably double if you think about the women that he made side deals with or any other escort service that isn't involved in the federal investigation.
I suggest that Mrs. Spitzer and the wife of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick should wright a book together. They both know what it's like to stand by their "john" husbands.

Hypocrisy.......The reason we as voters should be concerned and the reason he was caught in the first place was because he was "Breaking the Law", $5,000 for a call girl and looking to have spent over $80,000 dollars over 10years on prostitution? Where did this money come from? This man ran on a platform to clean up New York. Then he goes and breaks the very laws he pledges to uphold? BS, besides whatever goes on in his marriage he was a hypocrite and a liar, no upholding any pledge he made as Governor of New York.

This really bothered me and I have had it on my mind since the breaking news...in the end the one that gets hurt is not Spitzer himself - (in fact, in all the photos I have seen he seems to have a smirk which makes it even worse as he had his fleeting "fun"}} but his wife and family because I am sure he projected a different type of husband and father to them..imagine the shatter of trust and love broken and then add the publicity on top of it. I only wish the pain makes them stronger...I have to say that I am tired of seeing the support of the wife next to their "man" even though I know life is not black and white and that there is probably still a type of love there. I think it is unfair for them to go in front of the public so soon...maybe if there was some elapsed time before there was any publicity then the wife could also speak as well instead of standing in silence...

If she's going to stay with the pig; atleast do what Hillary did...use this and the postion to further and better herself?

I only wish I could be one of the fortunate voices proclaiming my disgust at how a woman can stand beside her husband after such a vile betrayal. I once believed I would kill my husband if he chose to be with another woman. In truth, there is no justice for the pain a cheating spouse causes, especially when it occurs inside a marriage that is particularly close and loving. I realize that most of you will argue that it's not possible for such a thing to happen in a loving marriage, and I would have agreed with you before it happened to me. If Mrs. Spitzer is beside him for some sort of political or social positioning, well Thank God! If only whe were seething with hatred for him and plotting her next move! Myself, I see the torment and the heartache and the overwhelming grief in her eyes and I know, I KNOW, she is there because she loved him and it will be a long time before she will have the strength to make any decisions to change ANYTHING. The shock of having the foundation of your marriage knocked out from under you leaves you unable to trust YOURSELF. You just wonder how you could have been so blind.... It's hard to imagine those we love and trust the most will ever hurt us. Some of them will.

There are a lot of comments here, and most of them are negative. I know from experience how hard it can be to support someone after being betrayed, but I also know that the woman in question is doing the right thing. The governor is a lot like you and me. HUMAN. IMPERFECT. His status as a public figure doesn't make him perfect, it just gives us a reason to scrutinize him. We've all made mistakes in one form or another, and the one thing we ALWAYS want from the people that we betray is FORGIVENESS. I know that Mrs. Spitzer is hurting right now. If she can't continue to stand by him, that's understandable. She's human too, and she has grounds for divorce. But she has to forgive him...for herself. If she never forgives him, she'll be angry and bitter for the rest of her life...whether she stands by her husband or not.

I feel for the wife Silda to. But as someone in a previous comment said, not only did he hurt his family and lie to the, he put his wife's health at risk by being with prostitutes. As a woman that has been cheated on early in my marriage, been married 13 years, if I would of found out that he was with a prostitute, there is NO way that I could stand to be seen in the same room with him and not want to knock him over, must less stand by him! Shes doing it for the girls, but I think that they are teen girls and know what is going on and she just needs to get out from under it all. Especially since shes more of a private person. Get out now and stay out of it and try to go on living her life away from all the drama that hes brought on the family. I feel for her and the girls. Hes just a dog like other men that cheat, only difference, he got caught and he paid WAY to much for them!!!!

I feel bad for his wife. Where did this rule come from that we, women, wives, girlfriends..have to support the crap our men, husbands, boyfriends, do? Why does she have to stand with him there? Embarassed and pitied! Not wanting to be there BUT society , the unspoken expectation,"dictates" that we be there!

I would not!

I will never understand the public judgment of what a woman should do if her husband cheats. It is crazy to think that just because you would leave your husband, that she should too, or worse yet is some how less of a person for not.

No one knows what is right for her except her and I really don't see how it is even remotely reasonable to judge her or impart our feelings on to her. Maybe she has a wonderful marriage and he is a wonderful father and she is willing to work through this to keep that. Maybe she has inner strength to pull through this and come out stronger on the other side. Maybe she just isn't a jealous person and can forgive him. Maybe she's getting some on the side too, with a hot, 25 year old, ripped guy. Who knows, and more importantly, who cares?

Let her be and if she wants to stand by her man, good for her. After all, isn't there something in most wedding vows addressing this? ...."for better or for worse"?

Simply put.. "DROP HIM LIKE HE'S HOT"!!
If he is willing to pay a "professional whore" $4000 for 4 hours of sex.. Exactly how much does he owe his wife for the many hours of CHILD BIRTH??? What a f**king pig! My sympathy goes out to his wife and daughters.. I hope they can overcome their father's actions, and may the MRS. find her inner strength and courage not to kill the SOB in his sleep!

Simply put.. "DROP HIM LIKE HE'S HOT"!!
If he is willing to pay a "professional whore" $4000 for 4 hours of sex.. Exactly how much does he owe his wife for the many hours of CHILD BIRTH??? What a f**king pig! My sympathy goes out to his wife and daughters.. I hope they can overcome their father's actions, and may the MRS. find her inner strength and courage not to kill the SOB in his sleep!

Hell no she shouldn't stick by him. What kind of message is this sending to our young men and women today? Think about it, Bill Clinton did it and his woman stood by him, now we've got all the politicians doing it. It's crazy, it's telling our youth it's ok to cheat on your wife she'll stick by you no matter what because that's what american women are suppose to do. Bullsh*t is what it is. And for the ones who say she'll lose her paycheck, it's called divorce court honey and it's on just about every womans side especially when the drama is broadcast across the US.

I think that what he did to his wife is completely beyond betrayal. But, to then hear that he like to do it without protection is even more of an outrage. Not only is he going outside the marriage and sleeping with prostitutes but he makes the risk of transmitting a disease to his wife that much greater by not having protection. Give her time, she will not stay long. There is an interview she did 10 years ago when Bill Clinton/Monica were in the news that stated she would NEVER do what Hilary did and she would leave if that ever happened to her. She will go, she is getting her ducks in a row.

I would like to know the name of the other bastards who wasted our time and money on a prostitute, yes hang the bastard!
Mila

Hang the bastard. She should have a baseball bat on her hand!
Betrayel was obvious! It takes a real woman to walk away from betrayal. I would have never stand by him. MONEY MONEY MONEY! That's what's all about!

I am glad that Ex-Governor Spitzer stepped down.
If I were in Silda's shoes I would throw him out of the
house and along with it his clothes and personal stuff.
This woman is beyond healing. I agree that he probably
has endangered her health. He might burn in HELL for
what he has done. My heart goes out to Silda and her
family. How can he look at himself in the mirror or
sleep at night? What goes around comes around!!!

LEAVE THE BASTARD. YESTERDAY.
(even the Bible excuses her from this marriage from a religoud pov)

I REALLY FEEL SORRY FOR HIS WIFE AND HIS FAMILY. HOPEFULLY NOW THAT HE STEP DOWN SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS MESS AND GET ON WITH HER LIFE.

She can't throw him out of the house, they are living rent free in apartment owned by his dad!

NO WAY!!!!!!!!! Especially this with public humiliation! Bad enough when no one knows you, but, this? Honestly, there is NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! Bye to them!

How can you sleep with a man who not only embarrassed you in front of the whole world, especially High Society (the rich hags are probably having a field day)and had UNPROTECTED SEX with hookers not once but a few times! Remember AIDS???? And to top it off the night BEFORE Valentines day!! I say hand him his testicles on a plate!! She gave up a high power career to have and raise their children? Not only have his testicles but I would find me a high price lawyer and own him!! But if she wants to stay for the children then I say it is time for a shopping spree and a nice LOOONNNGGGG vacation at his expense or daddy-in-laws!

Sitting here reading all of these posts has really disappointed me in the citizens of this country and how eager they are to jump into a divorce and the first sign of trouble. Don't get me wrong, I feel that the ex-Governor is a scum bag and should be punished in some way for his actions. And my heart goes out to his family for being publicly embarassed by this scandle. However, what happened to upholding marriage vows? What happened to "For better or Worse, 'Til death do you part"? This is what's wrong with this country, we have no moral values and have forgotten the sanctity of marriage. Yes, I have divorced over the very issue myself. And would do it again with those husbands. But I would never put a someone down for standing up for their own values and neither should anyone else.

I STOOD BY MY HUSBAND WHEN HE CHEATED, WE MARRIED IN 1971 AND EVERY 3 YEARS THEREAFTER HE WAS OFF AND RUNNING ENMOTIONALLY ONLY AT THAT POINT IN TIME, HURTING ME OF COURSE MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. THEN THE DAY CAME THAT HE WANTED "OUT" OF THE MARRIAGE BUT DIDN'T WANT A DIVORCE, ONLY A SEPARATION FOR A YEAR. IT SEEMED HE BLAMED ME FOR HIS NOT ACTUALLY HAVING FREE TIME BETWEEN HIS DIVORCE AND MARRYING ME, WHICH I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS DIVORCE. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, WE DID SEPARATE FOR A YEAR,AND BY THAT TIME WE HAD BEEN MARRIED 12 YEARS, THEN HE INFORMED ME HE WANTED ANOTHER YEAR OFF, SO I MOVED TO FLORIDA AND 10 YEARS LATER WE RECONCILED, BOUGHT A HOUSE AND LIVED TOGETHER FOR ANOTHER 12 YEARS AND HE DIED, SUDDENLY, IN FRONT OF ME IN THE CAR! SO WE HAD EACH OTHER FOR 34 YEARS, 10 YEARS OFF AND 24 YEARS ON, WHICH WERE GOOD. I COULD TELL THAT SPITZER'S WIFE WAS VERY HURT, ANGRY, AND BOY, DOES SHE HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS TO DEAL WITH IN THE NEAR FUTURE, AND I'M SURE IT'S ALREADY STARTED. I FEEL BAD FOR HER BUT IN THE END, LOVE DOES WIN! AT LEAST IT DID WITH ME! I WAITED FOR HIM AND IT PAID OFF. I HAD 10 YEARS TO GET OVER IT, WHICH I DID. EMOTIONS ARE HARD TO DEAL WITH BUT EVERY DAY GETS BETTER!

she will never trust him again.It will be in the back of her mind forever.

Regarding this case: I had been together with my "man" from 1964 thru 1995, and was married to my husband from 1969 - 1995, for 25 years of that time. That ended when he cheated on me with a coworker and we divorced. My children were young adults and knew that their father had done us "wrong" and they stood beside me during this painful time. I deceided then that I did not want to be exposed to any type of disease etc. or have my children exposed as well. Our divorce was a "Dear John" type (remember the show), I asked for no alimony as I wanted nothing from him or to do with him. He married the woman he cheated with and she keeps him in line, as for myself I have chosen to be single and I am enjoying a quiet life and good friends. Life is what you make of it and as they say "What goes around comes around". God hates ugly and someday he will have to answer for his actions.

No self-respecting wife should have to stand by her husband, no matter what their official status, when there is solid evidence proving that he has committed adultery. I agree with others that he is only sorry that he got caught. From his resignation remarks, there was not a bit of remorse for what he did, and may even continue to do. People don't change, they find ways to justify their bad behavior and expect everyone else to condone it. I didn't hear the words - "I am sorry I cheated on my wife, I brought disgrace and shame to my family, and I will never do it again." If he had uttered these words, then perhaps I could begin to believe in his sincerity.

Every man and woman is simply a human being. None are perfect and no one has a right to judge what another does.
Relationships take two people working and BOTH people make mistakes. If you love someone you should beable to work through things.
The PEOPLE in this situation have to decide what they really want and both need to see thier part in it.
God bless them and help them to the best solution.

I think she should dump him! I have told my husband (of 15 years and love with all of my heart) that if he cheats on me, don't come home. I don't want to catch what the other woman has and I stand by my word. I also feel bad for his kids but don't put them in the middle of this, it's not their fault.

By the time I found out about my X's affairs, I had grown to resent the selfish SOB way too much to be willing to try to "work things out," which he thought we should do! Serial Adulterers are the epitome of selfishness!

I feel that the media has made this our problem. It is not. This is between Ex-Governor Spitzer and his family. A mistake may or may not happen again. Change is good. Let's look at ourselves before making decisions.
Let's focus on real, life threatening issues, such as Afghanistan, Iraq, and our military. Let's have empathy for them. Why doesn't the media give the real issues attention. I am lonesome for truth.

Basically, both these parents are setting examples for their daughters to live by. The girls are being shown by dad that men cheat with whores and by mom that its okay and to just "deal with it" by putting up a good front. Whatever happened to getting downright mad and letting him have it? Standing up for yourself? Of course, maybe this all happened in private, but I could not stand up in public and support him. I would be so outta there!

I am amazed by these women that allow themselves to be humiliated this way on national TV, especially the way the media uses them for ratings. I'd never hand them something like video footage of me standing there looking broken. I told my husband that if that was our situation, there would be one camera crew filming his resignation, and another filming me throwing all of his stuff onto the front lawn. I am a very liberal minded "live and let live" person, and I also think prostitution should be legalized and be done with it. But I am confused by the statement that Mrs. Spitzer stood there with him for the sake of her 3 daughters. What message does it send them? Stand by your man when he has betrayed you repeatedly, risked your health, (and these days, that can mean your life)? I would love to be able to hear from her, and try to understand her reasoning for her decision to stand there with him. He had a brilliant future ahead of him, what a self-destructive man. But, he wasn't just self-destructive, he hurt at least 4 other people. I don't know Mrs. Spitzer at all, so maybe her personality isn't one that can move on without him, but for her sake, she should take her daughters and run like the wind and build a new and wonderful life.

I am outraged that she was there by his side. How degrading that must have been for her. I mean her husband didn't just have an affair, he paid $80,000 for prostitution. If he spent that much money then the man is addicted to it. There is no way that he is just going to stop - he will be sneaking around once this all dies down. I'm sorry but she has to be a complete idiot to stay with him - family or no family. Obviously family was never on his mind. I would hate his guts and could never forgive him. He has made cheating a habit - he will never stop. If she has one once of self-respect she will leave him and get half of everything.

I cheated on my husband (he does not know) so I would definitely forgive him.

I believe that if a marriage has a good foundation, based on religion, honesty and commitment to forming a better future as a couple, the problem would not present itself.

In my view, any woman who is faced with this situation has only two choices: Forgive and forget OR divorce the other party and rebuild your life without him or her.

It is almost impossible to forgive AND forget because I don't believe one can EVER forget the hurt when you first discover that this is happening; you can suspect and go through various stages of denial but actually finding out that it is true causes such hurt that it is impossible to forget and you learn NOT to trust another person for a very long time, some people never experience such trust again. The most famous people who have supposedly decided to forgive and forget are doing it for one main reason - to reap the benefits of being the "harmed party" and gaining emotional or financial or even political benefits by their notoriety as the "harmed party". They are no better than a prostitute who does what he or she does for financial gains.

Divorce, while not accepted in all religious sects, in my mind is the only resolution to the problem. If the couple have children, it may seem like the hardest of the two choices but if the couple were to stay together just for the sake of the children, it would not set a good example and standards for the children.

I pray to God that none of you reading this is ever faced with the decision because in actuality it is quite easy to say to yourself "It just happened one time and will not happen again" and go on with your marriage than say "I can't kid myself, it is just a pattern that will repeat given time because I allowed it to happen once and now it will happen again when I least expect it to happen."

Like Paula said, until you are in that situation you simply don't know. First of all, she is the the shock stage. She will finally settle into the acceptance stage and be able to make a decision. I know this from personal experience, when you are married a long time, it is unthinkable that the person you committed your life to would do such a thing to you. Then you come to realize that you certainly deserve better than that. When it happened to me, my children were grown, I had been married from 38 years! We had a trip to Poland and I was taking my niece and found out he had been living with this other woman for years. The shock finally wore off and now I am remarried to a wonderful man for the last 3 years. You don't do the children a favor by exhibiting this kind of behavior and letting them think you and they deserve this kind of treatment.

Y'all have got to be kidding me! These are adults...and neither are spring chickens! Sadly, she is probably of the old school '...stand by your man, etc.' - but- while I'm sure she's outraged and hurt to the max, it's all well and good to say "leave him" but even with a Harvard degree, she may simply want to weather the storm and see how best to handle the situation! I mean,leave him and go where? Do what? She's comfortable...and staying with him could be her best revenge - with some new ground rules, of course. Think about it - He already left her (mentally) when he started his whoring around so why give him more freedom? Stay, and make the bastard suffer every day for the rest of his life! She gave him the best of her life, her youth and the children. It's her turn now. Leaving only serves to give him the freedom to continue.

Men cheat because they can, period. Everyone knows that women are second class citizens and don't make the money that a man does. A woman will put her career in second place behind her family and that is the justification for paying her less and denying her promotions, for promoting a man who will put his career first. How can she leave him when she has so much to loose? Do any of you think that men don't know this!
I would never stay with a man who thought so little of me and our marriage that he would put me in danger of catching an STD and of being humilated by his actions. I wopuld give up the secirity that money can by for the security of being free of someone who does not value me and my family. Any person, man or female who accepts such an action by their mate is a fool and undermines all of our society. If you are thinking of cheating then get a divorce because you obviously don't give a damn about your mate or your family.

None of us know what we would do in a situation of betrayal until we face it ourselves. It is easy to pass judgement when we are not involved personally. High profile cases bring the issue closer to home, we think about it, compare them to situations our friends have faced and seriously wonder what could cause a woman to stay by her man. I imagine some sort of deal was struck between them. I could not make such a deal, but then I have no desire to swim in the swamp of politics either. There are many men that are simply full of feelings of entitlement, and narcissism that believe their power puts them above reproach. They are blinded to reality by these issues they embrace until it comes crashing down on their heads. They then do what ever it takes to make themselves as "teflon" as possible. I have yet to see one really change, they just don't see the need. This type of behavior, in this extreme, should not be contributed to both parties in this marriage, it goes beyond that dynamic. I hope that she will make the best choice for her children, they are the ones that matter most always.

Forgive and forget? Absolutely not! I too am so frustrated with the "good old boy double standard" where it's always alright for the man to "score" and the woman is labeled simply "a slut" if she isn't as pure as a saint. Who are the men all scoring with...and not marrying?!!! Cheating is so low and so deceitful. In marriage, a commitment is made by BOTH parties and to break that bond is lower than low. I think the Italians had it right when you had a gun involved with any infidelity. Lives are ruined, children are destroyed, security is ripped from existence...and trust is wiped from all feelings forever. And don't forget all kinds of cheating...like stealing the money from savings, running up credit cards, the lies, the secrets, the feelings...the entire scene in cheating. If you cheat, you have no excuse. You sacrifice all that you had cherished, all that you have built, all that you have worked toward. You didn't stop to think about your sacrifice; you just didn't want to get caught. So the penality is what you must pay...and if you cheat, I think it should destroy you like you have destroyed. You showed no mercy and that should also be the same for you.

leave the bum,she has her own life to live and this will follow her all her life, as well as her childrens,She has ho idea what he could have brought home to her like and STD,I wouldn't let this man close to me unless i had a shotgun in my hand, and pointed straight at him.

I could not help but think, while his wife looked on, that she wanted to throw up all over the bum.

The wife that was betrayed by her governor husband last year (that he had a gay relationship) has written a book telling what really happened in her case. She appeared on Oprah to talk about the book and the idiot himself.

Lastly, mine cheated too. What did I do? I left. But, I wouldn't divorce the rat. He was a career military man and when I left, I made him sign and keep up the payments on a widow's pension for me in the case of his death.

The only good thing that he ever did was to keep up the payments for it. In fact, he had to keep them up and couldn't cancel it without my signature. That law has now changed.

He died in November 2006. Yes, I'm getting a widow's pension, have all my rights as a military wife, and I'm collecting part of his Social Security.

He finally did something that was right.

i wouldn't stand by him ... i would stand ON HIM!

I have been cheated on to many times...even when I wasn't married....I think this happens alot...and I feel sorry for his wife. He has know respect for her or their 3 daughters.
Even when he went public she walked behind him...

I would not have shown up for sure.....I would kick his ass to the curve as they say.
If he has a problem then he needs to get help....but he put her in harms way....and for that alone I would not want to be with him.

Its a very sad story...and alot of money invloved!! WOW

Tricia, Ocala, Fl

The main thing on my mind is 1) This man is a governor - and is illegally soliciting sex from strangers - breaking the very laws he is SWORN to uphold. I don't agree with a previous poster that prostitution should be legalized, it completely nullifies the sanctity of marriage. How could any woman agree with that? Love, honor and cherish until a hankering for a prostitute arises? 2) Apparently he is particularly fond of unprotected sex with prostitutes - endangering the health and life of his wife. 3) How close in age are his daughters and the prostitutes he hires? To me that would be the real killer. I could NEVER stay with a man that was (by behavior)teaching my girls that women are commodities to be bought and sold for my pleasure. NEVER! And as a woman I hope his wife sorts through all of her undoubtedly chaotic emotions and realizes that if that is how this man loves, it is better to be without!

I feel sorry for his wife for sure....even when he went public he walked out in front of his wife...that shows know respect at all. For her safety alone he wasn't thinking of her.
I have been cheated on many times..once in a marriage...and I kicked him to the curve....I have more respect for myself than that!!

I think men cheat alot more than people realize....I think its just the way they are.....But know excuse. That is why I would never get married again. It hurts way to much.

Tricia, Ocala, Fl

This man, this pond scum, publicly humiliated his wife! I feel so very sorry for her and her children. I know how I would feel-- like I was not enough for him. I believe in marriage, but not when someone deliberately betrays me!
I told my husband that if he ever decides he does not want to be married to me and wants someone else, to let me know so we can 'split the blanket' and go our separate ways.
She has what she needs to get back on her feet without him. I believe that because he cheated on her, and it was not the first time, that they should go into counseling as a family, to discover what went wrong. Then, and only then, should they seek to divorce. Just my opinion!

It is quite normal that the Republicans were right out front pushing for Impeachment of the Governor...

The hypocrites who have probably "traded up" their marriages ..dumping wives who raised their children for a newer model Dole, McCain, Regan, Kerry, Kennedy,

The ones who protected sub-primes against Spitzer's probs into their illegality. The enemies of our ecomony really know how to change the news...then they slipped the depression on us on the weekend .

.Why do Americans stoop so low in their intelligence and morality to discuss SEX. The rest of the world is laughing and crying (at what Bushco has done to world)

I divorced my husband after 10 years because he was an alcohlic and I didnt want to live with my hate at constant abandonment...I wish he had had prostitute or a lover...He might have at least been capable of loving something besides the bottle Deanna Kuhn

In some weierd way I can see why women stand by their men even after cheating, in a public view, to them its probably a shock at first. But as for me, no you would not see me standing by my husbands side in front of the country while he resigns from office for not only infedility, but also breaking the law!! I understand the ex-govener has 3 daughters, and he is certainly not a good role model for them as to how a man should behave. So, yeah I think she should kick him to the curve once the dust "settles" in public. Thats what I would do.

Infidelity is a non-issue for me. Kicked my husband out when
I found out he was cheating with a co-worker of mine while I
was pregnant. He married that bimbo eventually and cheated on
her as well. A tiger never ever changes his stripes. This
also leads me to another current political issue. Do
Americans really want Hillary Clinton to run the government
when she can't even have enough self-respect for herself to
leave a cheating husband. Yikes people!

Never mind the message that Silda Spitzer is sending to the media by standing by her sleezy husband. She should consider the message she is sending to their 3 teen daughters. She is teaching them that they can't expect to be respected by a man...that a man can humiliate them and they should accept it. This will come back with devasting consequences on those girls.
If she walked out the door, and demanded that he make retribution in any and every way possible, those daughters would believe that a woman deserves better and won't settle to be treated like worthless trash.
We learn by example. Forgiving is one thing...being responsible for the wellbeing of our children has to be a priority.

I agree with LeeDeeGee with that, regardless he cheated. Since he's a politician that's okay? No different than any other man who cheats like she said. A woman or a man, for that matter can choose to stay w/someone who cheats but, do you really want to have to keep wondering if they are doing it again........flatter yourself to know that there IS someone out there that won't do it. Its more painful to stay with someone always wondering than it is to leave, be pained and find someone else..............lots of pebbles on the beach!

This is an extreamly personal matter, between a husband and wife.
No one knows what goes on in their lives but them, so no one can judge the situation from outside the box.

My heart goes out to her and the girls, I hope she makes the best decision for them all.

Patsy this is so beautiful.
In a perfect world this is what Mrs Spitzer should do.
This is not a perfect world. There are so many woman waiting to get Mr. Spitzer that Silda has to hold on to her man just like H. Clinton and J. Kennedy. Some man are animals, they can not control themselves.
There are so many woman begging these man to leave another woman for them, too many woman already lower themselves and will do anything to get a man. If you already have a man hold on to him, stay married. Kids like to have their parents together.

I could not think of a more humiliating thing, than to stand next to your husband on National TV and listen to him talk about his infidelity. NOT one affair that happened and was over, but having sex with an unknown number of women. Mrs. Spitzer needs to set a good example to her children that sleeping with multiple partners is not tolerated in this society of AIDS and STD'S, especially if you are married with a chosen partner, and children. I could not live with my husband if he cheated on me and had sex with someone else, because I would not take the chance of "catching" something that might kill or hurt me. Mrs. Spitzer is an educated woman, hopefully she will walk away with her head held high and realize she and her girls are better off without him under the same roof.

i really do not agree with the previous person who wrote, it is very stupid to stay with someone because other people want the man, i am certain there are plenty of people who want her as well, and i am sure she kept her legs closed and stayed faithful to him, so don't she deserve the same respect. That's a poor excuse, as to why he couldn't stay faithful. I am sure she could get someone who will have respect for her and honor their vows.

However, it's easy for us to all say, leave him, because that's how i feel as well. But the thing is we don't know her story and what she has done to him in the past and if he forgave her. So i guess utimately the decision lies in her hand as to what she wants to do. But, i don't think she should stay with him because of politics or because of children. The children will be better off way from all that drama than in the midst of it. In addition, its really sad that the people we trust to make decisin on our behalf and to protect us, are the ones adding to the situations. To spend so much money on a prostitute and there a hungry people right here in our midst.That money could have done so much for others, and to believe the economy is in a crisis right now. He now proves that he really didn't care about his country.

I would only stand by him AFTER he has signed THE most generous notarized nuptial agreement (revoke the previous pre-nup, if they had a not-so-favorable one)effective immediately. He would agree to all my terms BEFORE we faced the press. She's a Harvard lawyer, she'd know how to make it stick.
Other than that, all men are dawgs...

heck no. i just got a divorce from a man who was having a 20 year affair with a so called friend. i had no clue it was happening and when i did he got kicked out and a divorce followed 3 mths. later. he is living with her in a FEMA trailer. hows that for justice. as they say-- once a cheater, always a cheater.

I hope that Mrs.Spitzer Takes her daughters and leaves and files for a divorce from her husband,What he has done is unexcuseable and unforgiveable how could he hurt his family like that, he could not have loved them like someone truly loves their family by putting them through all this.As for the Hooker she is nothing but a home wrecking HO, that could careless about wether the guys are married or not she is just as guilty as he is and she needs to be prosecuted for prostitution also.

NEVER!!!!I WOULD NEVER STAND NEXT TO HIM IF THAT HAD HAPPEN TO ME. AND IF I DID DECIDE TO STAND NEXT TO HIM, IT WOULD ONLY BE TO BEAT THE SNOT OTTA HIM IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.... TO ME, THAT WOULD BE THE EQUVALENT OF HOW HE EMBARRESSED ME. HE'S LUCKY HE WASN'T MARRIED TO ME THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT TO SAY. IF WOMEN ONLY KNEW HOW STUPID THEY LOOKED I DOUBT THEY WOULD DO IT. HOW PATHETIC SHE LOOKED STANDING NEXT TO HER HORNY HIPOCRITE....,

BLAH, stand by your man ! If I were his wife/daughters I would want to beat him senseless in public ! He paid no thought what-so- ever to his vows, his marriage or his family. If I were her I would pack up EVERYTHING of his and BURN it and pack up myself and the kids and leave ! I'm tired of seeing woman in the public eye NOT making their husbands accountable for their actions. AKA. HILLARY I simply won't vote for someone that won't stick up for themselves ! I would also make him grovel like the dog that he is wherever he goes... UNBELIEVEABLE ! I might vote for Hillary if at one of her speeches she grabbed ol' Billy Boy by the jewels and jerked them over his head ! That would be something !

I tried to save my marriage when my husband cheated. We stayed together for a long hard year and a half with the understanding that we were working on the marriage and the other woman (and child) were out of it. I found out that that wasn't true and something broke in me. I had three small children and a business. I would have done anything for my family, and I think I did.

I feel for any person, man or woman, going through this. You never know what you will do until you are in that situation.

As we approach our 48th wedding anniversay, I find myself meditating about the reasons we are still together. Marriages go through ups and downs and we each need to decide if we are going to continue through it together. If you stay, it is a commitment to the marriage and your family. Liken it to buying a new car. You research, you shop, you test drive, and then figure out how you can afford it. You drive it for five years and it doesn't start as quickly as it used to. There's some rust around the doors. The power windows are broken and the trunk latch won't close. You know you need a new car, but you think about all the money you will spend, getting used to the new technology, pay higher insurance rates. You have to decide whether you want to stick it out with the old one till it dies on you or adjust to the new one, no matter what the price. It's your decision. With marriage, you meet, fall in love, make plans, get married, and have a family. You have good times and maybe some bad. You argue. You kiss and make up. You stick it out because you are used to each other and you remember the early days and how you felt. When a spouse cheats on you, accept it for what it is....cheating. You made a commitment when you married. He/she is not fulfilling commitment. He/she is more concerned about themselves than your marriage. It won't change. He/she is not living the commitment they made to you. Let them go and forgive them so you can get on with your life. Your kids will respect you and you'll be happier. Just look at Hilary and Bill Clinton. My stomach turns everytime I see them trying to act like the happy couple. Hilary is the proverbial wronged woman who feels she has to accomplish something great (like running for president) in order to get past the grief of her husband cheating on her, not once, not twice, but for their whole marriage. Give me a break! Get a life!

There is no way that I would let a man get away with being unfaithful. Was there a claus in the marriage vows? Maybe fine print on the bottom of the marriage certificate stating that all extra marital sex should be null & void? I doubt it...
When I found out my husband was cheating on me I packed up me & my kids & high-tailed it out of there. I filed for divorce on my 3rd wedding anniversary! I am very unforgiving when it comes to cheating. I don't think any woman (or man) should let their significant other get away with it.
Once a cheater, always a cheater...

Everybody seems ready to convict the man here.
Do you know what happened in his bedroom? Do you know if his wife did have sex with him regularly?Do you know if the couple was sexually happy? Did ever occur to you that maybe she new about it and consented because she hated having sex with him?
I mean,nobody knows what really happens in people's bedrooms. Maybe she stands by his side cause it's her fault partly that he cheated.She obviously doesn't like the public exposure but she knows more than everybody else does.So,better not jump into conclusions ,nobody's perfect,nobody is sinless,leave the people alone!It's their business what they do and what they don't!!!!!!

I think that the Governer was sooooo wrong to treat his wife and kids like they were nothing, and to put his wife in danger everyday by running around with prostitutes.....but I have been married for 13 years and a year ago I left my husband because he wouldnt give up his mistresses, he wanted to cheat and still be able to come home to me, I cooked cleaned took care of our child and worked two jobs (made over twice the money he did). I found out before I left I caught him in the act and she was my friend, so I lost my control and put her in the hospital, I almost went to jail over his affair. But none the less a year ago I left because I refused to be used any longer. I stayed gone for almost 6 months, and my husband realized very quickly what he gave up, he stopped drinking, went to therapy and changed his entire behavior. We have been back together for 6 months and its like night and day, he is a different man in every sense of the word. He treats me like the queen I am, and I know he would NEVER do it again. People can change, cheating doesnt have to mean divorce, but you both have to be willing to make things work, and the cheated on spouse has to be willing to forgive the cheater and move on from it.

I have no sympathy for these women, they know all about their spouses shortcommings, however, as long as Joey provides the right house in the right neighborhood, the right car, for the women to be a stay at home mon, these things are overlooked. Once Joey is found out by the rest of the world, they move on to bigger and better providers. I call these women the legal prostitutes of our time.