Teen Maternity Leave?
Over the last few weeks the iVillage community has been buzzing quite a bit about teen pregnancy and it's not too surprising that this topic is on the minds of iVillagers, as teen pregnancy rates are on the rise. News of teen star Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy is also sparking fears that there will only be more teens following in her footsteps, as is the film Juno, which some fear portrays the idea of a pregnant teen as cool.
In several of our message board communities moms are talking about a recent move in Denver high schools that would allow up to four weeks of maternity leave for new teen moms. This coming after many teen mothers were forced to return to school immediately after being discharged from the hospital or face truancy violations. Moms and medical professionals alike agree that new mom aftercare is critical to not only the health of the mother and child, but key in forming the relationship of the new family -- in whatever form that emerges. Shouldn't we give the same consideration to teen moms or is this only condoning teen pregnancy altogether?
On the Feminism Today board, deutche_mama recently posted "I can't see anything negative with schools helping out young mothers. By securing their education these girls are making huge advances for their future. How can that be bad???
By allowing these girls time off to heal, mentally and physically from birth, is a step in the right direction. They can then return to school and truly concentrate on their studies."
However, ginnyinnc countered with her opinion: "The fact is teenage mothers consciously make the decision to become parents. I believe we need to show them that it's not the BEST idea for them or for the child. We should not encourage it or pat them on the head when it happens. It's a bad idea that will forever alter their lives."
In a discussion on the Parents of Ten- to Fourteen-Year Olds message board janetis40 isn't on board with this plan just yet, either: "The cold hard facts are ... schools are not put into place to work around teenage Mothers ... they are there to educate children." There does seem to be some fear that giving teen moms more opportunity to settle in to their new roles may make teen pregnancy less off-putting. Others would argue that not helping these young moms adjust only increases their likelihood of dropping out of school.
Member bradleyteach offers her thoughts: "I believe that these young women should be able to have a doctors note excusing them for an appropriate period of time postpartum. Or, they can be excused from school the rest of the school year and re=enroll for the next school year but treating them as truancy cases is inappropriate. They've got enough going against them to be a teenager and have a baby, but to make it so that they must choose between abandoning their baby to the care of someone else before their milk even comes in and then come home to HS level homework - it is the baby who will suffer - and dropping out so that their chances of making a decent living for themselves and their babies is just not in anyone's best interest."
tamtamm agrees, saying, "Childbirth is a major medical event. I can't imagine anyone going back to work/school 2 days after giving birth. I agree that a doctor's note should be sufficient in excusing the child from school for a period of time."
A school's involvement in what happens well before teens give birth is also stirring up controversy. A Howard County Maryland school board has approved a written policy that requires staff to inform parents of their pregnant daughter's status. This news has fueled a discussion over privacy, parental rights and more. thefeministbreeder says, "I don't think a teenager has any right to privacy in this way. I'm glad they make cell phones with GPS in them now so when my kids are teenagers, I'll be able to track their every movement. Kids have poor judgment, and do stupid things. Even kids raised in the best environments."
iblondie2004 doesn't see this as a completely black and white topic: "I'm torn on this issue. The right thing to do wars with my personal beliefs. Unfortunately, I just don't think its practical to require that parents will be notified. It will deter teenagers from receiving the services they so desperately need. Although I do have a HUGE problem with minors receiving medical services of any kind without parents approval and knowledge."
While everyone seems to feel it would be best if more parents had better relationships with their teens that would result in them coming forward on their own or help to avoid the situation altogether, many fear that this policy will only result in more teens in trouble not getting any help or support at all. Looking at this debate from the perspective of a mom, you can't help but feel anything that would connect the parent to what is really happening would only help, but as acacia_verain points out, no matter how difficult it might be, we have to also look at this from the view of the teen: "I think there are many instances where it is better for the parent not to know. If I had become pregnant when I was a minor, I would have done anything to keep that from my parents to the point of risking or sacrificing my own life. Teenagers filled with desperation and recklessness are capable of many terrible things. I remember what that felt like....having no freedom....that feelings of helplessness. You couldn't pay me to go through that again. This is part of the reason I feel it is vitally important for a teenager to have access the confidential medical treatment."
What do you think about these issues? Should teens have access to a school-approved maternity leave? Are schools obligated to notify a parent about a teen's pregnancy? Share your thoughts on these stories and let us know how you feel.
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I think it very important to give a maternity leave to every body,if it school or work or any other place.
I don't see why teenage mothers are treated any differently than older mothers. I was 16 when I gave birth to my daughter, who is now 3 and I have another one on the way. I took a year off school after i gave birth to allow my daughter and I time to bond, went back and graduated on time. Not to mention that I've done everything for her and raised her on my own, without being on any social assistance. Teenage mothers have to do just as much work, if not more, than women who wait to have babies. Most of us end up raising our children on our own. I've accomplished a lot since my daughter was born including buying my own house, and I've never once allowed my daughter to be neglected or suffer just because I was so young when I decided to take responsibility for my actions and raise her instead of running from my problems. Teenage mothers go through a lot more scrutiny on a daily basis than women who have chosen to wait to have their children and I think that those of us who are successful shouldn't be brought down by the negative stereotypes.
I think some of the people who were quoted in this article have been watching too much Maury. Going by what I've witnessed in my own life, with my friends and classmates, accomadating a mother for her own well being doesn't take make getting pregnant "not a big deal".
Anyway, schools definately shouldn't be casing teen moms as truants. They just gave birth! That's a serious medical thing, and it takes the body a while to recover from that. Between recovery, all the buzz around them and the baby, and just having the thought that "wow, I'm a parent now...", teen moms have a lot going on! They should be allowed some time off from school.
I would think that the trasition from high school student to teen mom would be easier if they had time to spend alone with the baby and not back in school worrying about the baby, not feeling well... and all the stuff that comes along with being a new mom.
As a teacher, our district allows students to take up to six weeks for maternity as long as a doctor note accompanies the absences. The student is still responsible for all of the material and work during their absence if they wish to receive a credit for the class. Most teachers are parents and understand the need for time with a new baby, but as professionals, we must still make sure that the student is treated as a student.
I can see both sides of this. The schools are not there to get too involved with the medical issues of their students. Ask any mom whose kid missed more than a couple days for something they didn't do to themselves, like chicken pox. Truancy can be threatened and parents have to run around proving medical need for absence, so a pregnant teen who put herself in that position shouldn't necessarily just get a few weeks off. I've had kids, four weeks is a lot longer than many working moms are able to take. But, if we really want these kids to have the best possibility to provide for their children, which should be the focus, a high school diploma is going to help. Doesn't mean we need to make it a cake walk however. They can still do some make-up work or something. Life's not easy for anyone who has a baby, and kids having sex too early need to realize they did cause this and life won't hand them anything just because they're young. Nor should it. Teen pregnancy doesn't have to occur nor should it give them a 'poor me' complex that they use to their advantage. They said yes to sex, they unfortunately have to deal with the consequences. Seeing these celeb teens pregnant is indeed not a positive influence. I personally hope that Nick does the right thing and takes that show with Jamie Lynn off the air. These are kids with money in the bank and managers, their lives don't reflect what real-life pregnant teens have to deal with.
Kids definitely need time to heal, after all, it is a major physical change that doesn't allow overnight recuperation but I think they should still have outside responsibilities, such as schoolwork, to do during that time. Have a baby, be an adult and multi-task, better preparation for real life while ensuring a diploma to have a better future.
As a high school teacher, and having to deal with this many times, the bottom line is that these girls are going to have babies no matter what we say or try to do. Our job, although it should be the parents job, is to give them appropriate information and the support they will need to be a good parent before and after the child is born. If you don't allow the student time to bond with their child, what service are doing for that child? I do not condone teen pregnancy by any means but I do support good parenting and giving teens a second chance to make good decisions.
Not sure about the rules in other school districts, but here in SC, students are allowed 10 days of absences--with or without a doctors note. I don't see that teen mothers should really have it any different. I agree that making these truancy cases seems a bit harsh. It is a medical excuse, after all. I also agree with the other Ivillage member that feels re-enrollment for the next year/semester makes more sense.
Good parenting is hard enough to do with 2 parents who love and support each other. I just don't understand why all of these young, unmarried girls are having babies. I graduated HS 11 years ago--not that long ago. My fellow classmates and I would have been aghast if all of our classmates suddenly began having babies. That is not to say that we didn't have sex. We did, but guess what? Condoms were a hot commodity and guys used them. I don't buy all of this, "Oh, the condom broke." Sure...Learn how to use one if your going to be grown up enough to have sex. Go to planned parenthood. Go to a truck stop and buy condoms out of the machine in the bathroom, if that's what it takes. I think there is a lot of poor decision making and glamorization going on here and guess who loses out? The girls who have to put their educations, personal lives etc. on hold, as well as their babies who are raised by one parent and perhaps a grandparent.
When I read discussions about this issue, it all seems so black and white to me. I hear people saying that by allowing teen mothers pregnancy leave from school will influence teens to have children and make it seem okay. I don't understand how allowing leave will encourage teens to have children. I think it is important as a parent to inform their child how dangerous and serious childbirth is. In the end, people make their own decisions and while we may not agree with it, why would we penalize a mother just because she is a teen? That is absurd. Instead why are we not making every effort possible to ensure the proper health is given to mother and child. Why does everything have to be one way or the other?
i am currently a senior in high school and am also seven months pregnant. if my school did not allow me to take time off i'm not really sure what i'd do. that is, because i am planning on attending college in the fall. i don't think that schools are encouraging girls to get pregnant, but i do think that it's good for them to encourage girls to continue their education if the situation occurs. i would feel soo very discouraged to continue mine if i had to retake my senior year without my friends and doing my best to keep my spirits up while being a new mom.
Being a teen and pregnant myself, I think that teens should have the maternity leave just like adults get it. Teachers get 1 year off and other people that work get a good amount of time off, why shouldnt we? The first year is the most important time to bond with your baby. I dont understand why us teens are treated so differently.
It is important for a woman to heal after having a baby. Having a baby is serious and takes alot out of a woman. Young or old if you are having a baby you need time to heal no discussion. Teens should have the same rights as a woman does when she is a working mom. Teens should however be responsible for homework and other work while they are away from school.
Offering maternity leave to a teenage mother is no different than offering it a corporate executive. It is a matter of healing and bonding between the child and the mother. It is not a reward for having a baby and definately not a vacation. The people that responded that it will encourage or glorify teen pregnacy are probably the same people that think that Abstinence Only cirriculums work. Not adressing a problem doesn't simply make it go away. The part that is missing in that theory is that adolescents are curious and explorative and not giving them the information to make an informed decision is not fair. I chose the word "informed" over "right" because we as adults know that the color of right and wrong looks a lot more like gray than black and white.
Also to the parents out there that think that they have the right to be informed about their teenager seeking medical attention, don't let a possible law do the parenting for you. LISTEN to your teens without making judgements and without all of the "right" answers. Make it a comfortable environment so that they feel like they can come to you when they have a problem. Lastly, understand that they are teenagers, they are going to make mistakes.... didn't you?!?
Its sad that so many people feel its okay to mistreat another human being. Sadly, this is how we live our lives now a days. Although, this may seem like a small issue. It shows how willing people are to sabotage someone else if given the chance.I had my first child when I was 16. It wasnt the smartest decision I made. But you cant go back in time. I was not given this so called Maternity leave. I took it and came back a month later, and still graduated Valedictorian. Now I am a second year undergraduate student. Oh yeah, Jaciamlo, not all teen mothers raise the kid alone, Ive been happliy married for 4 years!
wow thats awful, anyone that thinks that teenage mothers shouldnt have time off from school. Im only 16 and in my junior year, im pregnant and will have my baby in september when Im 17. Its not to hard not to easy being pregnant in high school, and Im very happy that I am, I wouldnt change my decision for anything. I think that its wrong for people to say that teen mothers should not have some time off bc were going through a lot of pain and a lot of joy that no one else in high school gets to feel. Its a medical thing, and not only that, Im going to do hospital homebound for my schooling while im out with my child. The father is a wonderful guy that Ive been engaged to sence June and have been dating for 3 years and he lives with me. This has most deffently been the happiest time in my life.
Im a pregnant teen right now, & I feel teens should have access to a school-approved maternity leave. Im due at the end of september & I personally dont want to miss school at all. But I do feel that after I have the baby I should have some time off. Im whilling to go to school up until Im ready to give birth, but afterwards I don't want to be in school when I'm sore, bleeding & need rest. Also the most important time to bond with your child is in the beginning & I don't want to miss that. I know that the school doesn't have to give pregnant teens anytime off at all, but they could atleast give us 2 weeks. I may have been dumb enough to get myself into this situation but should my education suffer? I'm a straight "A" student & I take my grades very seriously. I would even be whilling to make up all the work I miss while on maternity leave or after. I understand that my actions were irresponsible but I'm whilling to put up with my consequence & go on with my life. I strongly believe that teens in my situation deserve this opportunity to heal & if they trully appreciate it, like I know I would they'll go back to school & do there best like I hopefully am able to do.