February 2008 Archives
We consider dogs man's best friends--and kids love those furry creatures, too. But sometimes, the feeling is just not mutual. According to the Center for Disease Control, 800,000 Americans seek medical attention for dog bites each year, and the rate of dog bite-related injuries is highest for children. So it's not surprising that iVillager shesgonecountry1952 sounded worried when she asked the Hot Debates board: "Would you be concerned if your son and daughter-in-law plan to keep a Pit Bull after finding out they are expecting twins?"
Some iVillagers, such as tlflag1620, feel that dogs--specifically, Pit Bulls--get a bad rap because of scary news headlines. "[I would not be concerned] if the dog was well-trained, properly socialized, and had no history of aggressive behavior. My concerns would be the same regardless of breed. I think it is a horrible shame that Pit Bulls are given such a bad rap.... all because some nasty humans train them improperly/abuse them."
But others, such as member iluvzander, feel they would be "worried about any animal large enough to inflict serious harm on a baby." She adds: "Dogs are not to be trusted. That is a statement from my dogs' trainer ... Personally, I would not have the dog and baby at the same time." Member the_big_c think having a Pit Bull around a baby is, simply put, "a bad idea."
Member jezibelle, a registered veterinary nurse, also have mixed feelings about keeping a dog in a home with a baby: "Any dog can be dangerous around children, regardless of breed. Children have been known to have been killed by the family Pomeranian. Cocker Spaniels are notorious for biting kids."
A member of the May 2007 Playgroup, lyndseyandkevin, recently discovered how a beloved family dog can unexpectedly inflict harm when her Goldendoodle (a golden retriever-poodle mix) bit her baby: "I am so sad. This dog was my baby and has never shown any signs of aggression. I just don't know what to do at this point. Try to keep them apart or try to find [the dog] a new home?" She asked fellow iVillagers: "What would you do?"
Member toiny offers a piece of advice: "I would definitely look for a home for the dog. It's just not worth the risk of it happening again and those things can happen in the blink of an eye." Member charrah agrees: "I understand how people feel like their dogs are part of their family, but there is no pet that will ever be as important to me as my chldren. If I saw any bit of aggression, the animal would be gone immediately. Unfortunately, animals are just that, animals, and they can act out at any moment, for no reason and with no warning."
Share your thoughts and leave your comments here. If you have young children, do you keep a family dog? What precautions do you take to make sure your child is out of harm's way?
A new study from Purdue University has found that rats fed artificially sweetened yogurt were more likely to pack on the pounds than those that were fed yogurt sweetened with glucose. While it's true that foods and beverages containing aspartame, such as many diet sodas, are low in calories, they may also lead to overeating or less physical activity. When a sweet taste is not followed by a large number of calories, the body may get confused and consume far more calories than it needs or burn less energy than normal. Some specialists, however, aren't convinced these findings are scientifically sound and are dubious about drawing conclusions.
The study has nonetheless generated a great deal of conversation on our message boards. Many iVillagers, although aware of the controversy, are too attached to their daily diet cola fix to consider healthier alternatives like water and tea. Member dandm116 on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board says, "Diet Coke is like my booze!"
And she's hardly alone. Member mindyk1978 also active on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board adds that she drinks ... "diet caffeine free [soda]. I know there are mixed reviews about aspartame and carbonation, but I just don't know if I can kick it!"
Others on the Pregnancy & Parenting After IVF board, however, are far more leery of artificial sweeteners. Member emilysmom2007 tries to avoid it. "I generally stay away from anything diet ... I just feel like the more 'natural' the foods you eat/drink, even real sugar, the healthier." Member lucifies2girls finds fake sugar just as unsettling. "I don't drink diet soda ... aspartame just seems so artificial to me."
Well, she's right about that; aspartame is definitely artificial!
Interestingly, member meghanmck of the Get Fit Moms board has no problem regularly drinking diet soda, but she doesn't think it's safe to let her kids have it. "I continue to drink my diet coke ... [but] I wouldn't give [artificial sweeteners] to my kids."
But some do take a much stronger stance against diet soda. Member catherinet on a GardenWeb discussion believes that all "... soda should be outlawed! OK, I'm not really serious, but I think it's a big health issue in this country. I also wouldn't substitute sugar-free sodas for the sugar ones, since I think sugar substitutes have their own set of problems."
No matter how you feel about aspartame and diet soda, it is important to know what you're putting in your body. What exactly are the ingredients in that can of Pepsi or that mug of root beer? Find out what's really lurking in your soft drink. Of course, once you know what you're drinking, you might want to get the lowdown on all those artificial sweeteners, too. Be sure and also check out what health expert Amy Hendel has to say about diet soda. And if you feel like going al naturale for a change, discover 10 simple ways you can cut back on sugar.
What do you think? Do you drink diet soda and use artificial sweeteners? If not, are there other, natural, sweeteners you prefer? Share your thoughts and ideas.
Over the last few weeks the iVillage community has been buzzing quite a bit about teen pregnancy and it's not too surprising that this topic is on the minds of iVillagers, as teen pregnancy rates are on the rise. News of teen star Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy is also sparking fears that there will only be more teens following in her footsteps, as is the film Juno, which some fear portrays the idea of a pregnant teen as cool.
In several of our message board communities moms are talking about a recent move in Denver high schools that would allow up to four weeks of maternity leave for new teen moms. This coming after many teen mothers were forced to return to school immediately after being discharged from the hospital or face truancy violations. Moms and medical professionals alike agree that new mom aftercare is critical to not only the health of the mother and child, but key in forming the relationship of the new family -- in whatever form that emerges. Shouldn't we give the same consideration to teen moms or is this only condoning teen pregnancy altogether?
On the Feminism Today board, deutche_mama recently posted "I can't see anything negative with schools helping out young mothers. By securing their education these girls are making huge advances for their future. How can that be bad???
By allowing these girls time off to heal, mentally and physically from birth, is a step in the right direction. They can then return to school and truly concentrate on their studies."
However, ginnyinnc countered with her opinion: "The fact is teenage mothers consciously make the decision to become parents. I believe we need to show them that it's not the BEST idea for them or for the child. We should not encourage it or pat them on the head when it happens. It's a bad idea that will forever alter their lives."
In a discussion on the Parents of Ten- to Fourteen-Year Olds message board janetis40 isn't on board with this plan just yet, either: "The cold hard facts are ... schools are not put into place to work around teenage Mothers ... they are there to educate children." There does seem to be some fear that giving teen moms more opportunity to settle in to their new roles may make teen pregnancy less off-putting. Others would argue that not helping these young moms adjust only increases their likelihood of dropping out of school.
Member bradleyteach offers her thoughts: "I believe that these young women should be able to have a doctors note excusing them for an appropriate period of time postpartum. Or, they can be excused from school the rest of the school year and re=enroll for the next school year but treating them as truancy cases is inappropriate. They've got enough going against them to be a teenager and have a baby, but to make it so that they must choose between abandoning their baby to the care of someone else before their milk even comes in and then come home to HS level homework - it is the baby who will suffer - and dropping out so that their chances of making a decent living for themselves and their babies is just not in anyone's best interest."
tamtamm agrees, saying, "Childbirth is a major medical event. I can't imagine anyone going back to work/school 2 days after giving birth. I agree that a doctor's note should be sufficient in excusing the child from school for a period of time."
A school's involvement in what happens well before teens give birth is also stirring up controversy. A Howard County Maryland school board has approved a written policy that requires staff to inform parents of their pregnant daughter's status. This news has fueled a discussion over privacy, parental rights and more. thefeministbreeder says, "I don't think a teenager has any right to privacy in this way. I'm glad they make cell phones with GPS in them now so when my kids are teenagers, I'll be able to track their every movement. Kids have poor judgment, and do stupid things. Even kids raised in the best environments."
iblondie2004 doesn't see this as a completely black and white topic: "I'm torn on this issue. The right thing to do wars with my personal beliefs. Unfortunately, I just don't think its practical to require that parents will be notified. It will deter teenagers from receiving the services they so desperately need. Although I do have a HUGE problem with minors receiving medical services of any kind without parents approval and knowledge."
While everyone seems to feel it would be best if more parents had better relationships with their teens that would result in them coming forward on their own or help to avoid the situation altogether, many fear that this policy will only result in more teens in trouble not getting any help or support at all. Looking at this debate from the perspective of a mom, you can't help but feel anything that would connect the parent to what is really happening would only help, but as acacia_verain points out, no matter how difficult it might be, we have to also look at this from the view of the teen: "I think there are many instances where it is better for the parent not to know. If I had become pregnant when I was a minor, I would have done anything to keep that from my parents to the point of risking or sacrificing my own life. Teenagers filled with desperation and recklessness are capable of many terrible things. I remember what that felt like....having no freedom....that feelings of helplessness. You couldn't pay me to go through that again. This is part of the reason I feel it is vitally important for a teenager to have access the confidential medical treatment."
What do you think about these issues? Should teens have access to a school-approved maternity leave? Are schools obligated to notify a parent about a teen's pregnancy? Share your thoughts on these stories and let us know how you feel.
It's a bird, it's a weekday -- no, it's ... Super Tuesday! While I'm not sure that Super Tuesday is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, it does guarantee Super Buzz in the iVillage community. Politics are always fair game for frank and sometimes heated conversations on our debate and issues boards, but election season has everyone sharing their feelings on this year's candidates. From our expecting clubs and playgroups to our Home & Garden message boards, women are sounding off on what's important to them and how they're planning to vote. Even on our Remodel & Renovate community, there are some definite plans for remodeling and renovating the White House, and we're not talking interior design. A lot of women are trying to cut through the campaign rhetoric and plan to send a message to the candidates that they not only want a change in policy, but a change in the process; cl-thatyank sums up her thoughts on this year's crop of negative campaign tricks by saying, "negative television ads tend to make me angry at the person who approved the ad." In the same discussion, cl-joshndansmom echoes what we're seeing on many of our boards: "There are so many issues, but right now I think the biggest one is getting our soldiers out of Iraq safely."
So is Iraq the big issue for this election, when many voters are looking for a change in domestic policy as well as foreign affairs? The war in Iraq is always a hot subject of discussion on the Current Debates board and in many of our military communities, this issue hits closer to home than many of us can fathom. Although Iraq is a hot-button issue for many, the state of the U.S. healthcare system and the struggling economy have definitely become top of mind issues for many iVillage members, who feel the pinch of these for their families on a daily basis. On our Hot Topics in Health message board, member clear_victory laments:
"Health care seems to have slipped below the radar, all of a sudden it's "about the economy, stupid", you know? If we can't stay healthy, the economy has little meaning. I'm so sick of seeing overcrowded ERs because so many have no health insurance."
We all know about the common first-date no-nos: being late, talking about exes, talking on your cell phone for most of the meal. But a recent post on the 20-Something Hangout got some members all riled up about one particular dating "don't"—asking about your date’s finances.
Member rebainmi asked: “I had a first date with a guy tonight and somehow we got to talking about the Suze Orman show, 401k, and he [started asking] me questions like ‘What's your credit score?’ and ‘What's your credit limit?’ … Thoughts?
Not surprisingly, more than 90% of poll-taking iVillagers responded that the questions were downright rude, and that rebainmi's financial info is none of the guy’s business. “Asking about your credit score and credit limit is completely inappropriate,” says member u_grad_lady. “He's got some nerve.”
Member smartypantz81 agrees: “I think that is just wrong! I could [understand] if you guys were in a serious relationship and talking about a future together… but on a first date? BUZZER! Maybe he is a gold digger?”
Smartypantsz81 was not the only one questioning the guy’s motives. Member wishful78, who’s had a similar experience, says: “I had a first date similar to yours and he went as far as to ask me how much money I make annually. I didn't tell him, of course. I [found] out later that he had horrible credit and was filing bankruptcy against his credit cards… I'm not dumb and I knew what he was after. You ain't living off of me buddy! ”
Member completelyuncalled4 offers some additional insight--and a warning: “He probably asks that of all his first dates… He's ‘fishing’ for something, probably some woman with good credit that he can use in the long run to co-sign for things like a cell phone, a car, etc. You might think 'It won't be me' now, but when you deal with a professional manipulator, you never see it coming until it's too late.”
Some iVillagers, such as loriannedz, however, were willing to give the nosey date the benefit of the doubt: “I personally would never ask someone this kind of stuff even after the 10th date … [but] maybe he was just nervous and trying to make conversation and since the topic of the evening was finances and mortgages, he thought, for some reason, it would be appropriate to ask that.”
Rebainmi (the original poster), ended up not answering her date’s prying questions but she did come to an important realization at the end of the night: “I hate dating.”
Share your thoughts on this awkward dating situation. What would you have said? And share your own first-date turn-offs and tales of first dates gone wrong.
After cruising through several of our communities, it looks like iVillagers are pretty evenly split between the Giants and Patriots, though some are definitely interested to see if the Pats can finish up with a perfect record. Others are a little tired of New England and are pushing for New York to pull off the upset.
No matter what you like best about the Super Bowl, there's always sure to be something to talk about on Monday morning. For more game day insight, visit our Female Fan blog and join in the conversations on our Sports Fans message board.
