MySpace Hoax Ends With Teen's Suicide
A MySpace hoax that ended with the suicide of a 13-year-old Missouri girl has sparked outrage across the country—and across the iVillage community. Reactions to the story were those of shock, disgust, and anger—anger at the parents involved in the hoax, and anger over the fact that no charges have been filed.
Megan Meier hanged herself in October of last year, just minutes after receiving mean messages on the social networking Web site. Her parents learned a few weeks after her death that their daughter, who thought she was communicating online with a 16-year-old boy, was being deceived. The "boy" was created by a mother down the street who wanted to know what Megan was saying about her own daughter, who had had a falling out with Megan.
Although authorities could not find a crime to charge anyone in Megan’s case, many iVillagers, such as snafu2007, believe the perpetrators of the hoax should be held responsible: “The parents who set up the fake MySpace account are criminals and should be punished for their crime against that girl. Since they created the circumstances by which that girl killed herself they are an accessory to that death. I am surprised that there are no statutes on the books in their state that covers this type of situation. This was no 'joke' or 'prank'. This was done to that girl with malice."
Member jamieandlukesmom agrees: "This parent should be held accountable. I agree with what [Megan's] parents said. It's just like this parent put the gun in her hand and had shot her herself. Parents just need to mind their own business when it comes to female squabbles in high school, unless they get out of control."
A number of iVillagers, however, point out that those involved in the hoax may not be criminally liable. Member uk_momof2 weighs in: "I am really on the fence on [the question of whether criminal charges should be filed], since you can't judge a person's conduct solely on the outcome— if the child had laughed it off, would her behavior have been criminal? The courts have been fairly strict in the definition of "intentional infliction of emotional distress" (which I am assuming this would fall under) to separate it from mere bad manners and hurt feelings. Certainly, the parents behavior goes beyond bad manners, but does it rise to the level of criminal?"
Should there be reforms in existing law related to child endangerment and Internet harassment? Many think so. skybroken, who works with teens with depression and ADD, remarked, "The law needs to catch up to technology. For the adults that knew her, and knew her condition, to do that... they should have to bear some responsibility for their cruelty." Member mommagemma agrees: "This is despicable. Cyber harassment should be a crime, because after all, making prank phone calls is a crime; the only difference is the technology that is being used."
For some parents, the tragedy brings up once again the issue of child safety on the Internet. cl-tchav7 says, " I think it's deplorable that there are young children on [sites like MySpace] and there are no checks and balances to keep up with that. I honestly think that, if it has to exist, the age limit should be 18, and the age should be verified by using a credit card number (not necessarily charging the card, but validating the person's age)."
In the subject of bullying, mandeesita offers some thoughtful advice for parents: "I think, as parents, it's our responsibility to teach our kids, not only to not say mean things about others, but that other people are going to try and say hurtful things about us, and it's important to not let it get overwhelming."
What do you think? Should charges be against the adults involved in the hoax? What precautions do you take to keep your child safe online?
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This is such a tragic story, and so horrifying that adults (parents, no less) can be involved in this elaborate hoax to target a 13 year old girl. I think there should definitely be some sort of legal reform to cover cyber harassment, as it may indeed be dangerous. I hope parents continue to teach their kids about being safe online and how to protect themselves from bullies. Bullies--they come in all shapes and sizes.
What is the story here? I dont know the whole story about what happened between this child and the parents creating this fake myspace account.
My only comment, is that it is saddening and horrifying to me that a parent could do this, and think there would be no negative repercusions. Behaving this way toward a child, and encouraging your own child that this is the proper way to handle conflict is terrible parenting. This woman should feel horrible about herself.
Melanie, there's a link to the news item in the post: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21882976/ and I agree, it's just saddening and horrfiying, and it's terrible parenting! The worst thing is, the woman doesn't seem to show any remorse at all. It's just despicable.
I find it hard to believe that the law cannot touch this woman. What she did to this girl is appalling. She clearly abused her, even though she knew that the girl had insecurity issues and was battling depression. It would be horrible if this was done by silly teenagers who didn't know any better, but the thought than an adult deliberately tortured a child and pushed her over the edge is sickening.
As a parent, I think my job is to teach my children to respect others and not to ridicule/bully them. There is one thing that we can do to inoculate our children against such behavior and that is to teach them to love themselves and to appreciate themselves and others based on their inner beauty, not their looks.
While I don't blame the internet or Myspace, I am determined not to let my kids use such sites. There are just too many predators out there. I've recently read an article about pedophiles who pose as teenage boys and persuade young girls to send them sexy pictures of themselves, or strip on the webcam!
Seriously, if she had done that to my child,that woman would suffer every day for the rest of her life. It would be my new mission.
No wonder there are so many stupid, vapid, mean girls out there now -- they're being trained by the very best.
All i have to say is remember Jack Kevorkian.....
This woman is suffering. She is now the most hated woman in America. People know what she did, and won't let their children anywhere around her.
Shocked - you think teenagers are innocent and don't KNOW better?! Come ON! Did your parents not teach you to be nice to others, live by the golden rule, etc?
Age is no excuse. I don't care if the person who messed with this 13 year old was a teenager, her little brother or her ex-friend's mother. It doesn't matter - the point is, what they did to this kid is WRONG.
I hope the woman, the MOTHER, who did this to her child's ex-friend, understands that this is her fault and that SHE caused this to happen.
She's going to have to live with the fact that she took part in encouraging a depressed child to kill herself. And live with the fact that she is not a good person, and that she hurt so many people by this.
It doesn't matter how old you are. Teach your kids. Listen to your parents.
Do the right thing.
I feel like regardless of the what the woman said to the girl on the internet, should have nothing to do with depression or death, the girl was dumb and young girl, parents should be more into what there kids are doing on the internet. That young dumb girl killing herself, is really on the mom, how can the internet make me kill myself, i mean it doesnt matter, school, streets, internet,grocery store, friends, cousin, dad, sister, brother Im not the dumb to the point i want to kill myself, thats just me , that is so retarded, its beyond that, now if im reading it correctly the young girl killed herself by herself, so how can we blame someone else, that didnt even touch her, think about it. Parents should be parents and be behind there child on whatever they do. Im going to assume this girl was white because obviously mom was not being a mom or a friend. Sorry but its true, in most cases its a race thing, but parents now a days should of known about myspace, damn, they speak about it everyday on television
All im saying is that, if no one helped her kill herself, theres no one to blame, but the parents for not checking on their child, and tell them to keep the doors open, and have them go to church more, i know some people dont believe in god, but ill be dang, when you do believe in God all things are possible and anyone wanting to take there own life, on the thought of a stupid internet conversation, would be downright blessed, and done with the stress. Sorry parents of the deceased, sometime we deserve what we dont teach to the kids. Someone else will and might be good on bad you never know til someone is dead.
There are two things that I would like to address
1)
The importance of monitering your children on the internet
2)
And the fact that parents everywhere must "grow up"
MySpace I do not feel is an appropiate place for any teen or young child to be on, because for one this social networking site features all ages which to me is unacceptable! An adult should not be able to make a pseudo MySpace page and "stalk" a minor. Now I am not to well versed in the legal sense but this mom should be charged for something. There should be laws to protect MySpace users from people who intend on doing so. It may seem vauge but something must be done, now can it effectively be done who is to say. For the parents of the young girl who killed herself I believe that they should have monitered closely the activity of her MySpace usage, because something had to go wrong on the posts or something that triggered this young lady to do such a thing. And the other mom she should be ashamed of herself for getting involved that way!
Then there is the serious topic of young teens and the pressure they have. We all have been there before.. wanting to be loved or at least wanting a "cute boy/girl" to like us. And with social networking site such as MySpace this is made possible. Now being a woman I will speak regarding young teen girls. They are impressionable and the slightest thing can trigger such actions, and nowadays many of OUR youths have mental health issues that on and puberty mixed in can be hazardous. The only thing that I think we all should do is work on improving young people's self awareness. We need to implement more self empowerment programs, self esteem values must be put into the minds of our youths. Because lets be honest, no self assured teen with a very high self worth value will kill herself over a failed pseudo crush! The only answer can't be lets punish the mom, she will eventually be judged, but we should work on prevention! How can we make these young teens value themselves? Great kids turn into better adults!!
Great comments Pink. As a teenager, I too suffered from depression, and I know the feeling of extreme loneliness and self-loathing. I'm lucky that my parents and friends have been very supportive, and helped me get through those terrible times. I never had to experience bullying, and I surrounded myself with caring people, not those who enjoy playing with kids' feelings. I'd like to say I grew up to be a more confident, secure person. I feel terrible for Megan's family, and just sickened about the adults that took part in her bullying. Though I agree that there may no be crime here, I wish people are more mindful of the well-being of young teens, especially those suffering from depression (I understand that the adults knew that Megan suffered from depression). Let's nurture them and build up their self-esteem, let's help them grow into strong women.
That was very immature for that woman. The girl was reaching out on the internet to not be lonely and make friends and got this. All that did was remind her of why she was so withdrawn. To do something that drastic she must have had some sign and that should have clued them in without lurking in her MySpace. I am 19 myself and I believe her parents should have encouraged her to make friends her own age doing something even outside school like take art classes at a local store or join a sports team. I believe that in someways the internet has made people get out less so they have a harder time making friends in person.
The woman should have been prosecuted because that is still harrasment and had the same intent as being said in her face, malicious.
However, this should not be used to make it another call to Big Brother. Identity theft and privacy invasion from employers and whoever else. By the way, I have an account on vampirefreaks, a subcult website similar to MySpace.
Good luck!
This story is horrible and what I want to know is why is this story just now coming out when it actually happened last year? I live in the Metro East of where this incident took place so we have been hearing about it daily on the local news. The town that Megan lived in and surrounding towns have already started to implement new rules for online abuse and they are hoping the state will follow suit. Unfortunately, it often takes something like this to happen in order to make the rules to control it in the future.
This is just tragic. To Amber, I think the story is only coming out now because Megan's parents only recently publicized the MySpace hoax connection and cause of Megan's suicide. I'm glad to hear that the town is currently implenting new laws about online harrasment. That is one step forward. The law definitely needs to catch up with today's technology.
Sadly, the legal system let this family down in a major way. This happened weeks before it became public and the lawyers told the parents to keep quiet because "the law will prevail" and they followed it with promises they were unable to keep. It wasn't until the same lawyers told them there was no law to protect other children from this monster that they went public. Locally the outrage is loud and clear. Two towns have now passed or in the process of passing laws making online harassment punishable by a fine and/or jail time. There is a plea for the state to pass a law. Sick doesn't even cover this story. The monster who did this has expressed no guilt, though she readily admits that she did it.
To Dee: Thanks for the additional info on the story! I didn't know the parents were urged to keep quiet. I am also glad that the towns are are in the process of implementing these new laws.
Interesting information. I tried to find information on this on the internet, but couldn't.
www.newcustomersonline.com
It is unfortunate that the teenager thought her only way out was to end her life. Where was her support group (family)? Did she go to anybody for help? As to a criminal act by the women down the street, no way. The lady will have to live with her contribution to the ending of a life but I don't see it as a criminal act.
Dennis, Megan has a history of depression and ADHD and she was being treated for it. The woman involved in the hoax knew about her illnesses, yet she still participated in what is basically harassment. There is no crime to charge them with, but it is my understanding the towns are currently in the process of implementing laws and reforms that will cover online harassment.
I check this blog everyday - after all it is called "Buzz of the Day" but it so rarely gets update anymore.
How come? I'd love to see new content here everyday!!
The most recent blog entry here is from Nov 20... It's Dec 7 now.