Disciplining Other People's Children

This is indeed a complex situation. It's obviously very hard to ignore an out of control child, especially if he or she can cause physical harm to my kid, but it's also not my place to discipline another person's child. I would protect my child, and tell the parent (in a very nice way, of course) about what their kid did (if they haven't seen it). It may send a mixed message to my own children, but not if I continue to teach them about what's right and what's wrong and what's bad and what's good behavior.

i know it might be ok to even discipline my own daughter. By disciplining I mean holding her firmly, looking in her eyes and tell her what was wrong, or give her a little knock on the head for really bad words. And definitively would step in when right before my eyes my friends child hits another one with no reason, kicks his dog or call me an cow. I would tell their parents later, of course, and I hope they will do the same in case my daughter would ever think of calling them names or kick their cat...

I think it is necessary for people to discipline other people's children when it calls for it. If they are acting in an unacceptable way they should be spoken to especially when other children are being effected by their actions. I wouldn't say anything to a screaming kid at a shopping mall, but the kid calling other's names or being physical would definately get a talk to from me. I also make sure parents and kids know that if the child is in my yard or my home they follow my rules, right down to standing in the corner for running in the house. If they can't accept it, than their kids don't need to come to my house or play in my yard. One kid left my yard crying because he was playing in an area I told him to stay out of, his mother came over yelling at me for making her son cry. I told her, "if you son would have listened when I told him to stay out of there I wouldn't have had to send him home and he wouldn't be crying." The next day he came over and didn't go near that area of the yard.

Totally, I will whoop you're child's ass if they are misbehaving I don't care, kids now a days are so spoiled it makes me want to punch their parents in the face. have you seen shows like nanny 911 where the parents are like "now little Timmy please stop it please pretties...nevermind..." are you kidding? I remember one summer I was at a family get together and my little cousin was sitting at the table telling my grammie he hated her and she was ugly and old and my aunt sat there and did nothing, like nothing just came out of this child's mouth...so my dad interveaned and told him if he talked like that to his mother again he was going to come over there and kick his little ass, then he shutup and doesn't talk to my grammie like that anymore, around us anyway. but it really erks me when parents don't do anything about their rude bratty children.

I haved disciplined other people's children in my home, when they were damaging my house or kids, but I don't think I'd do it in public, unless the child was in dangering themselves somehow. I think parents need to take time to set boundaries with their kids, and if they are out of control not let it escalate. I've been in that position, and picked them up and took them out of the situation until they settled down. We should not be so afraid of them, or others, to be the parent!

I agree.. it really does take a village--a village of responsible, concerned parents--to raise a child. It will definitely set a good example for your own kid if you try to teach good behavior to other children as well. Of course, it's different in every situation (if the child is in your home, endangering himself and others, or if he is a complete stranger's kid), so it's just important to remember to react appropriately.

whenever appropriate, I believe it's ok to calmly but firmly intervene when unruly children are present. Specially when it concerns their safety and those of other children. I think this will also help unruly children understand that when in a public place, they should be considerate of other children, other people, and that basic rules of respect should be observed.

Holidaying with friends, we were at a train station. I saw three boys who would've been eleven to thirteen. They were standing way to close to the train track and they were talking, and being silly trying to impress each other. One gave the other child a playful punch. I could invision one of the children falling onto the tracks. I just calmly said to the boys, "you need to move well away from the tracks, please boys." They did so without a comment. Now, what if I hadn't have stepped in and intervened? I agree that if other children in the area where your children are playing, or at your house are being dangerous, disrespectful, or difficult (naughty), then yes you should say something. Children are taught boundaries from a very early age. When they are in child care, or when they are at school. I have seen so many children who I care for be absolute beautiful, well behaved children. When their parents come to pick them up, they become disrespectful difficult children. Common sense everyone!

It takes a village to raise a child. Whatever happen to that motto? Me, myself would never physically do anything to a child but I would certainly talk to them about there behavior. There is always a chance to make the situation into something positive. Not only that I would discuss with the parents the conversation that took place between my and their child.

Kelly, I like your comments, and thank you for intervening with the young boys at the train station. This to me is the true meaning of it takes a village.
A long time ago in a play class, my 18 month old son, smacked a girl of the same age,before I could get there to deal with this, the little girls Mom hit my son on the head in anger. I was so shocked I scooped up my baby and left to walk on the beach. I did nothing, as I was so angry I didn't trust myself to tackle the mom. The other mothers were also shocked. I left and did not return to the playclass. Looking back now, I would have called the police and charged her with child assault, just to teach her how very wrong she was to do that. It still hurts me to think I did nothing, but take my baby and go. We learn from our mistakes. So please don't hesitate to call the police if an adult physically "disciplines" your child. It is against the law for good reason.

Strangers kids..Never. you don't know if the child is autistic/handicapped and having a "meltdown" . i would instead, try to talk to the child to distract them from what ever is causing the behaviour problem.
If it was a safety thing..ie:climbing..i would intervene.

Friends kids? yes, if they are in my home..with or without their parents there.

PLEEEAAAAASSSSEEE....there is a difference between abuse and physical discipline. If a boy old enough to know the difference hit either one of my daughters without cause and I repeat that in bold --WITHOUT CAUSE-- then I would definitely pop that boy in the head or on the hand and I DARE the parents to say something to me. If they press charges, fine with me, I'd serve my time and still do it again when I came out. Obviously there wasn't boundaries set early enough about boys hitting girls for no reason. For some, talking can only do so much. Parents today are too scary to be parents. There are too many people crying abuse when there is none. There are kids in my complex who act up all the time but they are very respectful when I come outside. I make it known that I do not keep my mouth shut when it comes to unruly children. If their parents have anything to say about it I tell them to say it to me and don't talk trash to the child. Children and parents need to relearn their place.

No child should be over agreessive or unruly. If they do this when I am with my kids,I'll say something to them,and I will also say something to the parents. It's kind of a fine line,but kids should know that they can't misbehave.

By all means you SHOULD disapline them! Too bad their own parents don't do it. I've seen many parents sit back while their child is hurting another child or trying to purposely break another child's toy. I think it is unacceptable and if they won't disapline them then someone should!! Children need to know when their behavior is not acceptable, some parents are too scared their child will be mad at them if they correct the child. Your child needs a parent not a friend!

As the mother of 3 girls - 2 married, one in Jr. hi, my girls knew growing up that any of my friends would discipline them (and did) as I would did with their kids. It makes for a much more respectful, safer world for your child/children. Our brains are not fully developed/mature until 20-21 yrs of age. As judgement develops last, children need boundaries. The more people that enforce that same set of boundaries, the more a child can thrive. They can then feel free to explore within those boundaries - its a great system that seems to be taboo today.

I feel that disciplining someone else child is not right I have 5 kids and the 3 one is adhd and I if any one ever where to take it in thier own hands and hit my child well I would hit that parent if another kid hit my son or daughter I would talk to the parents and I would hope the same thing would be done for me if this took place in my home I would tell the child to sit down and tell them we don't do that sorta stuff that what they did was wrong and if the parents did not like it then they can leave but I would also let them know that they need to get control of the child before something bad happens since kids grow into adults and we have enogh violent people in this world as parents we need to come together and stop it,it is easy to take control without hitting.

Well, I can certainly see both views of the parents. If it were me and my child were acting unruly - and I didn't see it, then I would expect another parent to step up and "tactfully" explain right from wrong. On the other hand, if I noticed but didn't think it was a big deal in MY opinion, and they stepped in, then I might find it as a repremanding against ME and not my child and may take it personal. SO, there ARE two ways to view it. Personally, "I" would step in by either: #1.) Making eye contact with the parent and pointing to their child; or #2.) Making eye contact w/the child and either make a discouraging face while shaking my head/finger in a "NO" manner; or calmly walking up to them and asking them to please not do whatever it is that they're doing. Some parents are more lienient than others, some are to the other extreme. You can tell by watching them & their children and adjusting your response by that. I've done it and have had it done to me. Never has it resulted from anything ill. Good Luck!!!

I will definitely discipline that child with unruly behaviour, be it my child or not. This is because the child when not discipline might do something that will affect the neighbourhood which i am part of in the future!

i think sometimes people misunderstand the term discipline. Discipline does not mean hitting a child. It is about having rules and boundaries. Too many people think showing discipline involves smacking a kid or someone else's. I have stepped in many times to redirect another child's behavior and I have never laid a finger on them. There is a lot of power in an adult very firmly telling a child what is acceptable and unacceptable and that their unacceptable has to stop now.

I always discipline when I see children out of control. I'm tired of having to deal with children out of control in the supermarket, the mall, at the movies. I find that the children listen and I have peace. If the parents object then they should watch their children so I don't have to.

my kids are teens now, but over the years i have not hesitated to speak to other children, mediating disagreements or gently pointing out poor or unsafe behavior - and rules were to be followed if you played at my house. this includes in public even now instructing strange children not to throw sand, etc. one is being negligent if you do not correct - but physical punishment is never ever appropriate. yes, it takes a village, it IS your responsibility to speak up.

In a way you will want to help a child,but you don't know how the parent might feel about the idea.

I used to think that only "other" children had meltdowns in stores because their parents were unresponsive or took young children who were too tired shopping. One day my "perfect" daughter started screaming & crying in a store checkout. I was aghast and tried everything to keep her quiet. Nothing was working. An elderly lady in line behind me offered to help. "See that lady over there?", she told my daughter in a conspirational stage whisper, "She is looking for children who are misbehaving in this store. You better keep quiet right now, ok?" Immediate silence! I am now that "old lady" and I have "helped" a number of grateful young moms diffuse a noisy situation-and have NEVER recieved anything more than a grateful, thankful smile in return. Sometimes someone else can be more effective in "disciplining" a young child.

I think it depends on the situation.. If it were in my home.. I feel I have a right .. however outside the home, unless the parent was looking like they were exasperated.. I would mind my business and remind my own children that this is NOT the way to act.

It also depends on whose child it is.. a friend or family memebers vs a strangers.

It is disrespectful for out of control behavior and our children need to learn manners and mind them. Most kids needs and want boundaries. Part of growing up is to push the limits and see how far they can get. It is important to be clear about expectations. Some parents find it easier to turn the other way and consequently we have many children running amuck. Yes, I have no issue disciplining unruly children, particularly those who may impose threat to others. I wish someone would discipline their caregivers.

I feel disciplining another's child is fine when 1. you know that child's parent, 2. the child knows you and 3. only if you see a child endangering themselves or some one else. If you are not sure of the proper way to handle the situation talk to the child's parents immediately.

Yes, I would step in or ask the child to leave if it was in my home that this happened. If the mother was there, I would ask her if she was going to take care of it. I'm very outspoken and not going to tolerate other childrens misbehavin...

On a recent shopping trip to the shoe store, a little boy about three to four years old was all over the place, removing shoes from the shelves and climbing the fixtures. The clerks were trying to be nicely tell him not to climb the fixtures and to not touch the shoes. All the time, his mom was in her own oblivious world; she didn’t even flinch as her kid was wreaking havoc in this store. When the salesperson brought me and my daughter some shoes to try on the boy made his way over to us, sat down on the couch next to me and began to mess with my shoes. I told him nicely to go away but he was as unfazed as his mother. When he reached into my daughter’s purse and removed her cosmetic bag, I raised my voice at him and sternly told him to “back off” much to the relief of the clerk, and of course, this finally caught the attention of his mother. I should not have to raise my voice at someone else’s kid but it was definitely the disciplinary lesson he needed.

I think that if my child is involved then I have a right to dicipline their child especially if the other child is in my home. If not in my home or my child is not involved, then the other parent should dicipline their child. If they don't dicipline their child then that is up to them. But as long as that child is in my home affecting my child then I feel I have a right to tell the other child to sit in time out. I would not spank another persons child nor mine. That is not necessary.

I think that if my child is involved then I have a right to dicipline their child especially if the other child is in my home. If not in my home or my child is not involved, then the other parent should dicipline their child. If they don't dicipline their child then that is up to them. But as long as that child is in my home affecting my child then I feel I have a right to tell the other child to sit in time out. I would not spank another persons child nor mine. That is not necessary.

It's everyone's duty to do what is necessary. Especially if the other parent is not around.. It is great for the child to see that just because you're not around they cannot get away 'scott free' with bad behavior. The person who is reprimanding another's child had better have some stuff between their ears though.. Screaming or touching another's child is out!!

If the child is accompanied by a parent, I talk to the parent. If it is somebody I know in my home, they already know the rules of my house. I don't like bullying or over aggressive behavior because some children do not know how to respond. I have a responsibility for "any" child in my care. However, when out in public, I walk away from it and explain to my child why. I do try to talk to the parent, which is sometimes ineffective. As other people have said, it is different with your own children. I would never touch somebody elses child. Raising my voice if necessary does not hurt anybody and could save another child from being beat up.

I did once - the mother has barely spoken to me since.
We were standing on my driveway. Her child threw a metal toy car at me - it almost hit my glasses. Then the kid threw it at our car - it actually took off some of the paint. She said absolutely nothing to him so I said "NO NO!" She gave me a horrified look. End of story.

In MY home, my rules apply and I will definitely correct anyone out of line with them. As others have said, if a child seems to be a danger to himself or others, I will also step in. (I'd never forgive myself for standing by and letting something awful happen!) But, you have to be extremely tactful and careful how you interact with someone else's child these days. Grab them and you can be charged with assault! The parent (perhaps already embarassed by their child's behavior) could take offense and many people do that quite violently! Used to be everyone watched out for everyone...but the times have changed and sometimes intervention is seen as interference...there are some pretty "weird" (IMHO) parenting schemes out there!

It depends on the entire situation and place. I firmly believe if a child is acting up in your home, or property, OR against your person or family. Or perhaps in public if the parent apprecicates your assistance. I have attempted this when my children were young, it didn't work becuase the parents didn't care what their children did to others property or family. I always felt if my children were misbehaving towards someone else, that person had every right to discipline them, because I was not there to do so.

My oldest was ADHD and threw fits in stores to get his own way when a lady once told him gently he should stop being so silly he was quiet because he hadn't been aware that anyone else noticed. One or two words from a stranger have a lot impact and can be remembered for a lifetime. Our kids and our neighbors kids grew up together. We have similar parenting techniques and have always been free to talk to each others kids - notice I said "talk" not discipline. Society needs to help with kids so the kids feel part of it and not above it. I can't help but think how some of the gang kids, bullies, loudmouth kids could have benefitted from the words of a stranger reminding them of their place in the big scheme of things. I have known kids who were beligerent because they felt no-one had a right to tell them what to do.

It is never alright to hit a toddler on the head or face. There is no justification for this any way you look at it. USE YOUR WORDS is the example to teach.

Some children will listen to an outside adults thats not there family. I myself have intervene when I have seen a child acting out and the parent can not reason with them. the child calm right down and say okay, and I ask them to say Im sorry mom.to see the child and mother says thank you with a smile and I move on. I feel that its good to give a helping hand sometime, especially interevning with children acting out in the public, we as American Citizens we can help reduce child abuse in families

I am an old woman, having raised two children and some extras. One thing that my children thank me for is teaching them manners. I do disclipine other's children, when they are in a public place and acting out, ie: doing something dangerous or making it so that others around them cannot enjoy the space. Sometimes I think that the parents are oblivious, sometimes I think that they appreciate a different voice saying what they have been saying. That said, I also praise children when I see them doing good. That is more important that discipling them.

If the child was known to me and was in my care, then I certainly would discipline them. However, this is something that I make clear to both the parent and the child before I agree to watch them, whether it be on a playdate in my home or on an outing.

If the child were a stranger, then I would only intervene if the child was either hurting my child, endangering themselves, or others - particularly if the child's parent is not around or is unresponsive to their child's behavior.

I believe that this sends a positive message to my child and any other children around him - that I do not find that kind of behavior acceptable in ANY situation, and that there are consequences to their actions.

Most children who act out in a destructive manner (notice I said DESTRUCTIVE, not your "normal", age-appropriate misbehavior) want/need attention, and crave boundaries that are not being provided.

You Bet! If the parents do not immediately take action, I WILL! My husband and I were in an expensive restaurant celebrating his birthday and there was a 4 year old child running around bothering everyone.... the parents were ignoring his anctics. I called the waiter and requested he do "something" He said the policy of the restaurant was NOT TO INTERFERE... Then I said I would not pay for our dinners! because we were being very much bothered and that is not what we came to the restaurant for. and I added we also have children, and we hired a babysitter so that we could enjoy a quiet, good and expensive dinner and we certainly were not having that! Very rapidly the Manager of the place MOVED the people to a quiet table located far away from us! We finished our dinner in peace, and perhaps those rude people and their rude child learned a lesson. Although I doubt it!

No absolutely not, if the other child's parent is there then it is NOT my job to discipline their child. On the other hand if the parent is not there and the child misbehave I will speek up, but never would I dream of laying a hand on someone's else's child. And I would be furious if someone else layed a hand on one of my kids. Just tell me what my child did wrong and I will handle it later.

I will ask permission to the parent if I can discipline their child when they disbehave when they are not around.

I coach soccer and softball and have no problem disciplining someone else's child. My desire for order extends beyond the playing field. If I am at a scout meeting or a dance lesson and I see kids acting out -- and no other parent is reprimanding them -- I have no problem slipping into my stern voice and stopping the nonsense before it escalates even worse. More parents need to discipline their kids in public. Lack of disciplinary action only serves to embolden the wild child. I wouldn't let my children disrupt an event involving other families. I surely won't sit back quietly and let other kids do so.

Based on many years experience as an educator and having relationships with many parents and their children, I feel this issue is one that requires both a sense of community awareness and sensitivity to each situation. Discipline is part of socialization which is based in community values and requires community consensus. To nurture positive behavior in children, adults need to communicate and agree on discipline as members of a group. Good communication amongst adults who share a school, neighborhood, living complex, etc. is an important part of clarifying issues of discipline. I do feel it is the responsibility of any adult to step in, in the absence of a child's parent, and verbally, firmly and patiently set boundaries when a child is behaving inappropriately, or is endangering themselves or others. Hitting a child not one's own is not appropriate. I feel children are the responsibility of any adult in the absence of their parents, but the adult must adhere to calm appropriate measures.

If there is a child in my home who is clearly not behaving in an appropriate manner,(hitting or using aggressive behaviour towards my children) I will certainly step in and put them in a corner, sometimes children need a little more than a slight reprimand from a weak parent, especially if it is not an isolated incident.

The situation directs me. Is the child in harm's way? Is another child in harm's way? Is the parent around? What's happening? I approach it multiple ways. Sometimes I ask if the offending parent needs an assist. Offending parent? Yes. If you have multiple children in tow and one pops off, you need help - not stares or heads shaking or gossipy words. Some parents aren't equipped to deal with children with challenges - autism, behavioural problems, etc. Even the best child can act up if all the factors equal meltdown. Then, there are those kids whose parents just aren't there - far too many. Like the kid I found at WalMart shoving bras up his shirt - Mom "told him to". Seems Mom was shoplifting all over the store and getting her kids in the act with her. So it all depends on the who, what and where.

I think it depends on the situation. When prents are near by I assume they are going to handle the situation. If the behavior is destructive I will step in right away. If the behavior is not hurting anyone or anything I give it a few minutes and then stepin if it's needed. When children are in my home and there are no parents with them of course it's my responsibility to discipline them. I treat them as I would expect their parents to treat my children in their home if I am not around. Although I expect my children to behave at their friends houses. If parents are in my home then I send their chikdren to them and let them know what is going on. Out shopping I offer encouragement and let others handle their own children. I think that as a parent, I would want to make sure my children are being kind and considerate of others. If I am not around I would hope that another parent would be able to redirect my child's behavior rather than let them continue to misbehave.

Why does everyone jump to Discipline=Physical Punishment? Discipline is an action to ensure order. Very simply it is the direction and explanation of what is appropriate. If more parents would assume the responsibility they should fulfill, we would have far less misbehaved children. I find it reprehensible to have to step in, but when the parents are not engaged, someone needs to ensure safety and order. I wish I could "discipline" these uncaring/lazy parents. It is tough to be a good parent. It takes alot of work and intestinal fortitude. Besides saying to some kids GROW UP...we need to say that to their parents!

YEARS AGO I WOULD NOT THINK TWICE TO
DISCIPLINE A CHILD, TODAY HOWEVER YOU
HAVE TO BE EVER SO CAREFUL JUST TO SPEAK TO ONE, AND HEAVEN FORBID RAISE A HAND.
NO, I FEEL I WOULD WALK AWAY SADLY, BUT
WALK AWAY.

I did this not long ago. I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called in. A boy (and I assumed his younger sister) were alone in the waiting room. I watched them a while and then calmly went over to them and said, "You are not treating your sister very nice" (Had there been others in the room I probably would not have said anything) It seemed to make an impression on him.

I realize trhat I just commented, but I want to be clear about my idea of disciplining others children. There is NEVER a situation when it is okay to physically discipline anothers child. There are corneres and time out places for a reason.

Some great responses here. I will step in if the situation is out of control in public such as when I am trying to shop..I say in a calm and direct tone..looking into the childs eyes "stop that", if things are really out of control, I call for store management. I have a right to go about my shopping without putting up with an out of control child and a incompetent parent. I see children out at night when they should be home sleeping or it's time for their mid-day rest, just exausted and out of control. Children with well-adjusted, thinking parents, will usually have good kids!I get really annoyed, when I hear a parent say.."honey,will you please stop"?When the parent needs to stop everything and have a one on one with the child. "Do you need to go potty are you thrusty, hungry, tired. Sometimes, a call to the Police maybe in order!

I find there are too many parents that are so busy with their own lives they don't pay attention to their children. I myself noticed when we were both working I was more apt to let my son get away with things because I was just too tired to fight with him.
Now that I am home on Maternity leave with the second child I realize just how that affected my son. I had to leave work 3mos before the baby was due to whip him in shape and now I don't want the go back to work because I think I should be home paying more attention.
If we are out at a play ground and another kid is acting up I look at my son and tell him that the other kid is behaving poorly and not to do what the other child is doing. I make sure I comment on the behaviour loud enough that the mother hears me when I say "ignore him he doesn't know how to behave and you know better". No parent wants to made to look bad so at that point they will step in and take care of the childs behaviour. You get some dirty looks but its worth it.

I find there are too many parents that are so busy with their own lives they don't pay attention to their children. I myself noticed when we were both working I was more apt to let my son get away with things because I was just too tired to fight with him.
Now that I am home on Maternity leave with the second child I realize just how that affected my son. I had to leave work 3mos before the baby was due to whip him in shape and now I don't want the go back to work because I think I should be home paying more attention.
If we are out at a play ground and another kid is acting up I look at my son and tell him that the other kid is behaving poorly and not to do what the other child is doing. I make sure I comment on the behaviour loud enough that the mother hears me when I say "ignore him he doesn't know how to behave and you know better". No parent wants to made to look bad so at that point they will step in and take care of the childs behaviour. You get some dirty looks but its worth it.

I find there are too many parents that are so busy with their own lives they don't pay attention to their children. I myself noticed when we were both working I was more apt to let my son get away with things because I was just too tired to fight with him.
Now that I am home on Maternity leave with the second child I realize just how that affected my son. I had to leave work 3mos before the baby was due to whip him in shape and now I don't want the go back to work because I think I should be home paying more attention.
If we are out at a play ground and another kid is acting up I look at my son and tell him that the other kid is behaving poorly and not to do what the other child is doing. I make sure I comment on the behaviour loud enough that the mother hears me when I say "ignore him he doesn't know how to behave and you know better". No parent wants to made to look bad so at that point they will step in and take care of the childs behaviour. You get some dirty looks but its worth it.

There are some things that are tolerable as a society and some that are not. If a child needs to be disciplined about something he/she is doing and their parent is not stepping up to the plate then it is a necessary evil. The next time that child thinks of doing the same behavior that someone besides their parents have decided to correct, they will think twice. Sometimes it is necessary for someone else to step in. Today's kids do not have enough respect for their parents. I have two kids and if my kids are doing something they should not be I hope someone would say something. I don't want my kids injured by there actions, so maybe someone else can say something different that might sink into there very determined minds.

This is a topic I have often thought about. It is important to set appropriate limits with children in your care through generally accepted methods such as "time-out" etc. Your own children know the extent of your deep love in the midst of harsh speaking or witholding of special movie or other treat. Others' children do not have this bond with you and suffer in a more personal way if remanded. Yet they also suffer if not corrected properly. For these reasons, I find it very important for the mother & family to be with her children as the main caregiver for at least the first three years. Sorry ladies, but I really believe it makes a difference. YOU are so important to your child's life.

Wow! I don't think "discipline" is the word meant here. Would I speak up-you betcha! I was at school with my 9 year old for halloween and another girl was saying some mean things to this boy who is "challenged". I stepped right in. This girls mother would have been appalled at the way her daughter was treating this boy and what she was saying to him. This is small town school-70 kids in the entire 4th grade. I would expect someone to do the same to my child, in any situation that she is behaving inappropriately. Sometimes, and I have had this conversation with my own child when she has been corrected, a child is not aware that their behavior is inappropriate until someone points it out to them that it is wrong.

I would always ask for the parent's approval beforehand.

After reading a number of posts, it would seem that there are actually a number of response parents out in the World. Where the dickens are you? I have yet to see these people in Public. There are SO MANY NON responsible parents it is disgusting. Parents allowing their children to scream, run around, hit others, be rude to others, etc, in all types of Public places (stores, restaurants,etc). And it is just so RUDE to other patrons. Discipline AND Manners should be the discussion here. With upbringing (manners) comes discipline (it is a natural progression). It is a shame that there is no longer a Polite Society. As Parents, it is our JOB, to protect OUR FAMILY (children, household, etc), so if anyone is my house, they follow my rules.

I don't know if parents are just too lazy to raise their kids right, or they just don't care. But the way kids behave in America today doesn't bode well for the future of our country. If a kid is acting in a way that affects me, Da*n right I'm gonna say something. There are things that individual sets of parents should be able to decide on whether to teach their child or not. But there are things that every parent should teach: 1) bullying is NEVER OK 2) how to put themselves in someone elses shoes 3) what is and isn't appropriate to do in public 4) respecting others' property. This is just a short list, but it's a good start. My children will never be allowed to get away with the crap I've seen. Kids have tried to take our cat, they climb trees in my parents' yard that aren't built for climbing (and without asking), they play on our lawn and pull up plants...I've said things to these kids. WTF are their parents doing? What is so difficult about teaching your kids manners?

I don't know if parents are just too lazy to raise their kids right, or they just don't care. But the way kids behave in America today doesn't bode well for the future of our country. If a kid is acting in a way that affects me, Da*n right I'm gonna say something. There are things that individual sets of parents should be able to decide on whether to teach their child or not. But there are things that every parent should teach: 1) bullying is NEVER OK 2) how to put themselves in someone elses shoes 3) what is and isn't appropriate to do in public 4) respecting others' property. This is just a short list, but it's a good start. My children will never be allowed to get away with the crap I've seen. Kids have tried to take our cat, they climb trees in my parents' yard that aren't built for climbing (and without asking), they play on our lawn and pull up plants...I've said things to these kids. WTF are their parents doing? What is so difficult about teaching your kids manners?

I would, especially if the child is visiting my house. Usually my children know the rules and I ask them to convey them to their guests. If this child's behavious gets out of control and my children are unhappy about this unexpected event, I would approach the child, try to talk to him/her in a firm but friendly way, if this does not work I would get firmer, and if my second alternative would not work either, I would take the child back to his/her home and talk to the parents.
If the child would be vacationing with us as our guest, I would have a serious talk and give this child time out, no matter the age, and withdraw the privileges (which are the same I give my own children) for this vacation and I would call the parents and let them know the type of behaviour and the actions I have taken. If nothing works and the parents are upset I would send the child back and would not allow him/her in my house anymore, even if I have to pay for the plane fare to send this child back.

It all depends on the situation. I have been in playlands where many kids are running arround and see a small child about to do something dangerous and can not get to the parrents. Then I interfer; also same place much older child is doing things that can hurt my kids-I tell them to quit or I will report them.

Most of the time there is no reason to tell other children what to do. If they are in your home under your car-yes.

Otherwise you just let them misbehave. If your child is nearby just go to the child and remove them and tell them it is because of the other naughty child that you had to do it.

Usually the child is being unruly in a public place and the parrent feels bad-like at a checkout. It is their problem and you can feel their pain or if you are sure it could be prevented just stay out of it.

At all times you protect your child and often you can just remove them. You can say something to the parrent that because of their child others are having problems. They may not know, now their pro

It all depends on the situation. I have been in playlands where many kids are running arround and see a small child about to do something dangerous and can not get to the parrents. Then I interfer; also same place much older child is doing things that can hurt my kids-I tell them to quit or I will report them.

Most of the time there is no reason to tell other children what to do. If they are in your home under your car-yes.

Otherwise you just let them misbehave. If your child is nearby just go to the child and remove them and tell them it is because of the other naughty child that you had to do it.

Usually the child is being unruly in a public place and the parrent feels bad-like at a checkout. It is their problem and you can feel their pain or if you are sure it could be prevented just stay out of it.

At all times you protect your child and often you can just remove them. You can say something to the parrent that because of their child others are having problems. They may not know, now their pro

I think it is kind of sad that the dominant western perspective is based on isolationism and singular responsibility. We say that it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe that is right.

This makes our communities stronger and our sustains our culture. Children grow up with respect for adults and grow into adults who have a feeling of responsibility towards the generations to come.

I teach high school and believe me there are a lot of kids that have never been disciplined. If I am out in public and I see a child acting up I do step in - sometimes all it takes is that "look" teachers are so good at but often I will ask them if what they are doing is something they should be doing. I think you are doing society and the child a disservice if you just keep your mouth shut.

wow--the people who are writing they would "knock" another child--or person--scare me!!! really--and of course I would react to a bad child--but only in a loving but stern way--I do not believe that hitting or ANY physical thing is the right thing to do-ever-and I oonly would do it if it were in my space --never in the outside world--mind your own business--for those of you who think your the boss of them all!!!treat EVERYONE as though there heart is breaking--a child acting bad-to me is a something else going on--so all of you--be kind--it all comes back around!!!

I have had no children around for a number of years...but when my children were younger and I had a friend of mine who had kids and their mother was trying to get them to behave I would tell the kids that they must listen to their mother...the respect your mother lecture. I would say it kindly though.

If my son's friend misbehaved I would send them home and tell them why I was doing it.

If I were watching them...I suppose I would have made them stand in the corner for 5 minutes but it never came to that.

I was a Children's Reference Librarian and a Sunday School teacher...but never had a problem with "bad" kids...

I am a nurse by trade at this point in life and have not deal with that age group.

I think that kind, intelligent discipline is very important for children...discipline that still leaves them with a sense of dignity...

I have come to believe that the term "discipline" is wrong if defined as "criticize the person/behavior." I think it is more useful to confront the child, and try to empathize with them, with whatever fear or anxiety is prompting them to act out; to help them get centered and focus their energy on addressing their problem rather than just random uncontrolled emotional outburst. This may involve using my bigger size to prevent them from doing damage to themselves or others while I help them to regain their composure.

I would dicipline that child because obviously the child is trying to test the parent and the parent may be fed up with the child's behavior and that is when it is time for someone else to step in and show that child that no one is going to let you get away with it and while at it I will put emphasis on the mother's rules on the child so that the mother is not completely left out but included in the action that has been taken so that the child understands that the mom or dad is not going to take the behavior any longer.

In my home, I expect children to behave the way I expect my own children to behave and will disipline accordingly. If mom doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come back. In public, if a child is endangering himself or acting aggressively toward other children, I would definately disipline. I would never strike another child in the head (unless he bit me and it was an automatic reflex)and especially not an 18 month old. I would only result to physical disipline when verbal reprimand was not working and the situation became dangerous either to the child or other children. I would expect other parents to treat my children accordingly--I certainly would hope another parent would not standby while my child endangered or hurt another, even if only playing roughly. Children are children and cannot be expected to know or anticipate what an adult can.

I would first try sympathizing with the parent, 'It's really tough to control them in a supermarket, isn't it?". AND/OR I'd say something nice about the child. Then I'd get to eye level if the child is small and tell them how I'd rather see them acting. I liked some of the earlier comments like Kelly's - she talked to the older boys near a train tracks. I would ALWAYS intervene if safety were an issue. IF i get a bad reaction, I chalk it up to embarrassment on their part - who wants it pointed out that their kid is out of control? It's results I hope for, not personal satisfaction. It is a tough job being a parent, and I can remember times when I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have paid. I try to put myself in the parent's shoes and sympathize before I step in. Now I'm a grandma.

I would first try sympathizing with the parent, 'It's really tough to control them in a supermarket, isn't it?". AND/OR I'd say something nice about the child. Then I'd get to eye level if the child is small and tell them how I'd rather see them acting. I liked some of the earlier comments like Kelly's - she talked to the older boys near a train tracks. I would ALWAYS intervene if safety were an issue. IF i get a bad reaction, I chalk it up to embarrassment on their part - who wants it pointed out that their kid is out of control? It's results I hope for, not personal satisfaction. It is a tough job being a parent, and I can remember times when I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have paid. I try to put myself in the parent's shoes and sympathize before I step in. Now I'm a grandma.

My brother brought his family to my house several years ago and tried to take over. His kids were loud and disruptive and showed no respect for me nor my wife. After several attempts at quieting them down at 11:00 in the evening, because my wife worked the next day, I got up out of bed and turned the t.v. off and told all of them to shut up and go to bed, including my brother. He told me I was extremely rude and should be more tolerant of company. I told him he should teach his children more respect for others and if he didn't like it there was a best western down the steet, he hasn't been back. Ground rules were Laid but not accepted. OH WELL.

Only one thing would impede from stepping in and reprimanding someone else's child. Lawsuits.

I have always believed that as an adult I have a responsibility to children when they are in my surroundings,and their parents are not around. There are many ways of disciplining a child. One might for example speak to them calmly and kindly showing other ways of dealing with their situation. They may not want to listen but I believe the lesson might serve its purpose somewhere down the line. In other words the impact could be positive. I know it is not as simple as it sounds but you have to be willing to go the distance if you interfere.

If the child is in my care, yes I will discipline gently. if the parents are there in the child's presence, I will not because i know they can handle situation. However what bugs me most is when people with no children or parenting skills intervene. That drives me up the wall!!!

i know that it takes a village to raise a child(ren) but at the same time i would want to be the one to discipline my child but at the same time,have some help in knowing what was going on if my back was turned or if they were at a friends house.

While circumstances are key, I do have a governing policy IN MY OWN HOME. If you are visiting me with children who are:
unruly
destructive (self or property)
disrespectful
and YOU are doing nothing, then the governing policy here clicks in, and that is: My House, My Rules.
In public, where there is no danger to the child or ME, then it's all on the authority figure for the child.

I am 48. I grew up at a time when if someone saw me doing something that I had no business doing - they would smack my behind...and then call home and tell my mom, aunt or grandma what I had done and I would get it again!...and I had to get the switch off the tree that I was going to get my ass beat with x-0....anyway, I think that is the problem now. Once the government stepped in and started telling us how we should discipline our children...it was all down hill from there! Our kids....YOUR kids runamuck!...My kids know I will beat their collective butts...IN PUBLIC....if they try to embarrass me by acting a fool in public. We really have lost the period of getting hold of our kids if they are close to their teens...with the technology age and the internet.....that's whose raising our kids now. That being said,I would definitely discipline another persons child - not physically though - but I will put a child in his/her place with no problem at all...and talk to the parent.

I definintely feel it is appropriate to discipline another child especially if that child is enfringing on your rights or the rights of your child. There is not enough discipline and self-discipline in our society as is.

Sometimes you have to discipline another child. Coming from a big family and having children of all ages around. It sometimes helps when a child is being disrepectful to their parents.Displine coming from another adult sometimes sinks in that we mean business.

In the carribbean we do it and it works... it takes a village to raise a child... from Trinidad btw...lol...

What I have read so far were two kinds of positions :family and society oriented . There are parents -yet a big , too big bulk of them , who consider education exclusively from the family point of view , take action only when their children are suffering from unrully or illbehaved children . They take on themselves , by a more or less authoritative correction , the whole task of clearing up an evident act of breaking social rules . This kind of isolated correctiveness seems to me good but not enough for the society to go a better way .It needs our participation on a larger scale if we want to be safe from violence and aggressiveness throughout our life . If someone had a word or merelely a gesture to express in front of antisocial acts happening around almost every corner in more frustrated places -from lack of education and social care -I think things would improve tremendously . It's up to all of us to take action and intimidate ourselves those who intimidate us -or else social law breakers would take our

YIKES-=--I did not mean that it right to hit another I meanit is is NEVER right to do that and those people still scare me--what happened to being loving and caring even when times are hard? some of you pople ARE the problem--it must be your kids that have mental issues becuase of how your respond to them--my dad was a cop--I NEVER mis -behaved--never--my kids have and my x would hit them--it was one of the reasons we are not divorced--NO way is it ever good to hit a child--treat EVERYONE as though there heart is breaking--I mean it--it ALL comes back--my friends--for those of you that are mean--watch out-because mean=mean--love-love--just love--walk in in at your kids will want to be like you--nbe nice people--NICE!jails are full of the kids that someone hit-I am a doctor and know how being angry--mean will affect another person--doing the right thing is always the best bet!

What is out of control? I’ve seen kids that by my definition are out of control, yet others think they are just fine. Additionally, I’ve seen kids who I think are behaving typically & others consider their behavior offensive in some way. Standards of behavior are subjective & you might step into a situation that you know nothing about. My daughter has Autism, & I still remember vividly the day a man yelled at my (then 5 year old) daughter for tossing a stuffed animal in the air. I was crushed that someone could be so hostile to her. That said, now that we do the Son-Rise Program, her behavior is actually better than most of typically developing children that I see. If I see a child bullying another, I do what I can to stop or defuse the situation. Still you have to be careful of getting into a situation you might not understand, but bullying shouldn't be tolerated. "What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism" by Jonathan Levy is a great resource. Parents with both ASD & typical kids love this book!

What is out of control? I’ve seen kids that by my definition are out of control, yet others think they are just fine. Additionally, I’ve seen kids who I think are behaving typically & others consider their behavior offensive in some way. Standards of behavior are subjective & you might step into a situation that you know nothing about. My daughter has Autism, & I still remember vividly the day a man yelled at my (then 5 year old) daughter for tossing a stuffed animal in the air. I was crushed that someone could be so hostile to her. That said, now that we do the Son-Rise Program, her behavior is actually better than most of typically developing children that I see. If I see a child bullying another, I do what I can to stop or defuse the situation. Still you have to be careful of getting into a situation you might not understand, but bullying shouldn't be tolerated. "What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism" by Jonathan Levy is a great resource. Parents with both ASD & typical kids love this book!

Absolutely! I would reprimand someone else's child in a situation when the child is disruptive, unruly, destructive or any other negative activity. I do not believe corporal punishment is necessary, but certainly proper instruction and correction is required.

What is out of control? I’ve seen kids that by my definition are out of control, yet others think they are just fine. Additionally, I’ve seen kids who I think are behaving typically & others consider their behavior offensive in some way. Standards of behavior are subjective & you might step into a situation that you know nothing about. My daughter has Autism, & I still remember vividly the day a man yelled at my (then 5 year old) daughter for tossing a stuffed animal in the air. I was crushed that someone could be so hostile to her. That said, now that we do the Son-Rise Program, her behavior is actually better than most of typically developing children that I see. If I see a child bullying another, I do what I can to stop or defuse the situation. Still you have to be careful of getting into a situation you might not understand, but bullying shouldn't be tolerated. "What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism" by Jonathan Levy is a great resource. Parents with both ASD & typical kids love this book!

OK...for some kids time outs and isolation work. But there are a lot of kids that do think time outs are a joke. Mean does not always equal mean nor does love always equal love. There are children who grow up in a loving environment but still can be the cruelest people in the world. I grew up in a time when children were raised by the neighborhood. If someone caught you cussing, being disrespectful, and just being bad you would get you butt whooped by the person who caught you and then taken home to get your butt whooped there. Now too many people are either scared or apathetic and turn away. Thats why the jails are filled because too many people tolerate bad behavior or think it's not their business. The only reason It seems that there is a lot of parents here that don't tolerate unruly children is because these are the few in the world who are involved in things other than their personal small worlds.

I don't think that it is a bad thing to discipline some else's child when you know the difference between corrective discipline and distructive discipline. The problem with society is that we are no longer a family unit. I have three children of my own and I don't think I would have a huge problem with someone giving my kids a word of constructive discipline if they were wrong.

yes i do believe that there are times others do need the help on disciplining others children

Counseling is better than disciplining on other people's child I believe.