October 2007 Archives
Happy Halloween, iVillage! Whether you're a fanatic for this holiday or are just trying to get through without eating too many fun-sized Snickers, you can find a lot of Halloween fun right here in the iVillage community. I went on a little trick-or-treating mission around the boards and here's what's brewing:
- On the Poets Workshop message board they've conjured up a Halloween poem challenge. It sounds like a lot of fun and there's still time to join in -- I don't even think you have to be in costume, but it's a bit trickier than it looks, so beware and mind your iambic pentameter.
- Need a last-minute treat that's safe for everyone to enjoy? The ladies on the Four-and-Five-Year Olds board are sharing peanut-free Halloween snack ideas. Even if you're already overloaded on treats, these are some good suggestions to bookmark for your next class party or club function.
- The moms of 8-and-9-Year-Olds are asking the question: Do you ration out (your child's) trick or treat candy a little bit at a time, or do you let them eat as much as they want? I'll add in my own question -- do you always take a certain percentage of your kids' candy as your "cut" or is that just me? Ahem.
- Dress Up Pets: Just because they can't eat candy doesn't mean that the family pet can't get into the Halloween festivities. Don't miss these cute and furry friends in costume.
- They're scaring up more fun on the Cooking with the Seasons message board. Stop by and join in (and snag a few recipes while you're there). Find more ghoulish goodies here.
- Of course they're in the spirit of the season on the Halloween board ... stop by to see what everyone's planning and check out the Halloween scavenger hunt .
- The GardenWeb community is showing off their creative talents for the fall season. These glass pumpkins are amazing and many members are showing off their fall decorations.
- Although they're often discussing real-life scary stuff on the In the News board, this week they're trading Halloween Movie Recommendations and asking, Is your house haunted? My house isn't haunted, but there sure seem to be a lot of cobwebs hanging around. Hmmm ...
- Maybe now is not the time to think of swimsuit season, but if you need some inspiration for getting in shape, don't miss this amazing Halloween before and after from carol-jtd40 on the LA Weight Loss message board. Way to go!
- iVillagers have been showing off their fall and Halloween signature lines in the Fall Frenzy and Halloween Spooktacular challenge. Yes, "spooktacular" is a word, why do you ask? Stop by and see all of the creative images members are using to dress up their messages and post your own!
No matter what you have planned for this spooky day, have fun and stay safe out there! And if you're not expecting trick-or-treaters to show up on your doorstep tonight, you can still enjoy cute kids in costume from the comfort of your keyboard. Speaking of which, why not upload your own photos? We want to see 'em!
There's always been controversy surrounding vaccines for children—just ask members of iVillage’s Vaccination Debate board—but when a small but growing number of parents, who are claiming religious exemptions to avoid vaccinating their children, recently made the news, the debate took a new turn.
Some iVillage members think that the parents’ decision to claim religious exemptions to avoid vaccinations, when the real reason may be skepticism of the shots or concern they can cause other illnesses, puts other children at risk of contracting dangerous diseases. Members, such as genuinecanadianangel, think those parents are actually committing fraud: “Saying you have a religious exemption when you don't is clearly LYING, no matter how you look at it. It boggles my mind that the people who are crying foul at the doctors who apparently 'misled' them [about vaccines], are the same ones who have absolutely no trouble misleading school boards with blatant lies.”
Should anti-vaccine parents with no genuine religious objections be allowed to use a religious exemption? Some iVillagers, such as member kellyrn, don't think so: “It makes me really angry that people are so quick to lie about their convictions. They should be honest about their reasons. If this means that their child will have trouble getting into school, then too bad. There is a reason vaccines are required. If a parent doesn't agree with the reasons, then maybe public school isn't the best idea for their family.” Member jjhnn8600 agrees: "I personally don't think people should be able to opt out of vaccines and still be able to go to public school. Some people may have very legitimate religious reasons for not getting the vaccine. But, and I know this sounds harsh, that isn't my problem. If you don't want to vaccinate, then send your kids to a school where other parents are OK with their children being exposed to kids who don't receive vaccines."
But what about parents who feel that the risk of the vaccine is worse than the risk of the actual disease? Anti-vaccine iVillagers, such as member a_mothers_love, say claiming religious exemption is their only option for getting their kids into school: “With states only allowing religious exemptions, how else are parents supposed to protect their children from the dangers of vaccines? Yes, lying is wrong, but when it comes to our children, we will do whatever it takes to keep them safe.”
Some parents say vaccination is a personal choice, and until exemptions for “philosophical” or “moral” reasons are allowed, they should be free to claim religious objections. Says cl-suschi on the Non-Vaccine Support board: "So they don't like parents who use a religious belief when that is the ONLY OPTION to avoid any shots for their child? Well, that's the behavior they drive when they tell you that you must vaccinate your child even if you think the next round of shots may KILL THEM. If they don't like parents using a bogus exemption, then change the laws and really give the parent a CHOICE!" Member jhjkk is just as passionate about the issue of parental freedom: "I am one of those parents that don't vaccinate my kids... If the government would let US be the parents of our own kids and do what WE want and NOT them, then we wouldn't have to chose the religious exemption if we were not of a religion that is against vaccines."
Indeed, emotions run high when it comes to immunization, an important health decision for parents. Those against vaccinations are frustrated with the difficulties they face trying to avoid what they consider a harmful practice, and those in favor of vaccinations worry that their kids are at risk among non-vaccinated children.
Member catchzik76 sums up the difficulty of making what some consider a life-or-death decision for their kids: " I can honestly say that I personally feel like there are just risks not matter WHAT you choose. It's all pretty darn scary stuff. It's just up to the parents to decide what is best for their children and to weigh the risks themselves. I really hate this part of parenting."
Do you think parents should claim religious exemptions to avoid vaccines? Share your thoughts on the vaccine debate.
It's definitely time for a staph meeting. The message boards have been buzzing about the recent outbreak of MRSA infections in schools, with most people wondering: How worried should we be, exactly? Is this a "hit panic button now" situation, or more of a "wash your hands often" type thing?
First, a little background: A Virginia high school senior died recently after contracting methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, an antibiotic-resistant staph infection. Since then students in school districts in at least six states have been infected with MRSA, and three of the children have died. Many schools have shut down temporarily for cleaning, since the infection tends to spread fastest in gyms, locker rooms, hospitals, and other places where people tend to share equipment, linens and personal items.
cl-pt40 pointed out on the Getting Fit in Your 40s board that misleading information about the recent outbreaks is spreading like, well, an infection: "A local TV station somehow got the wrong info and reported our school systems as being closed until further notice."
But that doesn't mean the risk isn't real. Staph has hit close to home for several iVillagers, and most seem to be on the mend, thank goodness. cl-lissa_88, for instance, has seen the enemy come a little too close for comfort, writing on the Tone Up Your Body board that "[p]ersonally, this scares me. I had a staph infection on my leg back in February, and we really are unsure how I got it. I've told my kids to really wash their hands and to be careful, but I have to admit, my 4 year old worries me."
And ginaegg, a mom on the January '03 Jitterbugs board, has a brave little patient at home whose experience may raise some red flags for other moms of school-aged kids:
- "Poor thing, she just can't win for losing. She showed me a spot on her leg on Saturday night, high on her thigh. 'This spot hurts, Mommy.' I put hydrogen peroxide on it and it was starting to look a little angry, so I dabbed some Bactroban on it. By this afternoon it was a *really pissed off* area -- significantly larger, about as wide as my hand. A friend of mine at church is a RN, I had her look at it and asked, 'ER?' She said, 'No, but definitely an after-hours clinic. That's staph.' The doctor in the AHC agreed that it is most likely CA-MRSA, which they're seeing a lot in children. He wrote her a script for Septra and she has to stay out of school until she's had a full day of antibiotics. :( She **flipped out** when they took a culture of it. That was pretty much hell. So, we're doing warm compresses, warm baths, ibuprofen for pain and will be on antibiotics tomorrow morning. Our hand washing would make Detective Monk proud. :P So, if your kids get a little sore that suddenly flares up REALLY ugly -- hie thee to the doctor **immediately**."
Good advice, ginaegg (and give that little one a big get-well-soon squeeze from Da Village).
It's hard not to feel freaked out when so many stories are written about a scary infectious disease in schools within a week or so. And many more iVillagers are reporting that they've been affected directly or indirectly by MRSA.
But as sparkysarah, a registered nurse who knows whereof she speaks, writes on the Frugal Families board:
- "I personally don't stress over these infections. Maintain good handwashing and get any skin wounds that don't improve after a couple of days inspected by a doctor. You can't live your life scared, but it's good to be informed so you know what to look for."
If you're a mom of school-aged kids who's worried about the news, you could also follow the good example of squeeks2001 on the Acne, Eczema and Skin Conditions board, who made sure to talk to her kids about MRSA (and helpfully posted a few visual aids, too).
Has the recent staph outbreak affected you or someone you love? Do you think the media is overreacting, or do you think our schools may be underreacting?
A Maine middle school will make a full range of contraception, including birth control pills and patches, available to students in grades 6 to 8 after the local school board approved the proposal this week.
At King Middle School in Portland, birth control prescriptions will be given after a student undergoes a physical exam by a physician or nurse practitioner, said Lisa Belanger, who oversees the city's student health centers.
Students treated at the centers must first get written parental permission, but under state law such treatment is confidential, and students decide for themselves whether to tell their parents about the services they receive.
The issue has sparked debate across the country, and not surprisingly, across the iVillage boards.
Is this an outrage, or a necessary step to prevent teen pregnancy?
Some iVillagers, such as amcanmom, worry that distributing birth control at school would encourage sex, not educate kids about it: “I am all for having birth control available in school clinics--HIGH SCHOOL clinics. For middle school, keep out the dish of free condoms, for goodness’ sakes! I think providing the means to have sex at ages 11 to 14 would encourage these children to engage in sexual activities. By high school, I think that it isn't encouraging them as much as protecting them. Giving them the information is one thing. Giving them access is another.”
Others, such as member laurenjcg, worry about the health concerns that may stem from taking birth control pills at such a young age: “I realize that there are kids in that age range who are sexually active, and I'm all for sex education in schools--maybe a lot more education than they have now. But, I would be angry as a parent to find out that my child had prescription drugs I wasn't aware of. I can understand free condoms, because they help protect against STDs and don't cause chemical changes in our bodies. But the pill has side effects, and I don't think a child of that age can be expected to make an informed decision about that.”
Parents, such as member eghtyslady, think that the school’s proposal was inappropriate in the first place, and interferes with their roles as parents: “If I had a kid in that school the school administration would they hear from me … I don't think children of that age should be messing with their hormones. And they can receive confidential health care and decide on whether or not to inform their parents? What? If I'm footing the damn bills then I will have open access to all their records health or otherwise cause it's MY business.” Member isabella710 agrees: “Schools are for academics, not social issues.”
Some iVillagers, such as turdlewhipper, however, think providing students with more options to better protect themselves is never a bad thing: “It's providing them the means to have SAFE sex. Whether people want to believe it or not an 11-year-old is already quite equipped to engage in sexual activity. Considering that there are children in this age group that are already engaging in sexual activity the more education and opportunities to do so SAFELY, the better.” Member white.wave7 wholeheartedly agrees: “I think we are burying our heads in the sand if we think restricting access to contraception is going to stop kids from having sex. The fact is, this proposition is based on the number of pregnancies already resulting. These kids are already having sex. Who are we hurting if we offer them more ways to protect themselves?”
The whole issue may indeed be a bitter pill to swallow for some parents, but many, such as member ashmama, think the school board’s decision was a necessary one: “As sad as having to give condoms to 8th-graders really is, I think the school should proceed. This may be their one chance to stop a kid from getting pregnant, dropping out of school, or being sexually abused. I have no idea whether my own middle school offers birth control, but I certainly hope that if there are kids who need it, it is available.” She adds, though, that the school should also offer counseling with every birth control prescription: "No middle-schooler is mature enough to have a sexual relationship (and I speak as the mother of an exceptionally mature, responsible middle school daughter). Kids who choose to have sex need help sorting through their reasons for doing so, as much as they need protection from their own hormones."
What do you think? Should middle schools make birth control available to students? Share your thoughts.
Following the success of its viral video "Evolution", Dove recently launched a new ad that could be a wake-up call to parents everywhere. "Onslaught" features a young girl being bombarded with images from the beauty industry's "ugly side": gyrating dancers, sales pitches for diet pills, a bulimic woman throwing up, cosmetic surgery procedures. And finally, the message: "Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does."
The ad has received thousands of views on YouTube since its launch, and it also had the iVillage boards buzzing as well.
What do iVillagers have to say? Many members, such as miiraclle, applaud Dove for exposing the media’s role in perpetuating an unattainable standard of beauty: “I am glad that the media is being ‘called out’ [for] pushing these unrealistic [beauty] standards and that someone is helping parents help their children love themselves. It is very frustrating trying to keep up with the thin, young and beautiful images you see all around you.”
iVillage moms, especially those with young daughters of their own, such as cl-mom2emandmaddie, found the ad enlightening: “Watching the ad was eye-opening for me. I usually don’t pay attention to [ads from the beauty industry], but I’ve noticed my [daughter] asking me how much she weighs, etc. It makes me pay a lot more attention to what she watches and reads. It reminds me to constantly praise her and let her know her body is beautiful no matter what.” iVillage member littlebird74 agrees: “[The video] is quite disturbing … But I'm glad there is a large corporation that is helping us fight this issue. It made me want to hug my daughter. I don’t want her to ever think she is not good enough.”
Some can’t help wonder, however, if the ad is just a tad hypocritical. Dove itself is part of the beauty industry it attacks (they sell a skin-firming/cellulite-reducing lotion), and its parent company, Unilever, also manufactures Axe (whose commercials feature guys attracting sexy women) and Slim-Fast.
But many iVillagers still feel that the message—not the company behind it—is what’s more important. Says member mikaismommy: “Of course [Dove] will gain from this in a financial manner, but I think the message is the most important [issue]. Women need to accept themselves for who they truly are, and not for what the media portrays. I think that this type of conversation is essential to women of any age. I'm totally for this new awareness of the issues surrounding body image and self image in the media.”
Others, however, were a bit disturbed by Dove's approach. Member sara_ou says: “It seems a little extreme to me. I guess I wasn't raised in front of the TV… because we lived way out in the middle of nowhere. We were outside a lot, we played games, we read books. And my parents always supported us and said that we could be whatever we wanted to be.”
Some iVillage parents, such as cl-cavegirl75, also feel that the ad should have addressed the fact that body image issues affect both girls and boys. “I'm troubled that people seem to ignore that the issue isn't JUST a girl issue. Boys may have lower rates of eating disorders and self-mutilation, but that doesn't mean they're unaffected.” And, as mommasboyz points out, boys can also be part of the problem.
Moms who have struggled with their own body image issues, such as kmattfield, think that aside from the media, a parent’s own behavior can also have a big impact on their daughter’s self-esteem: “Speaking as someone who has dealt with eating disorders for the last 22 years, I think [an ad like this] is well overdue. We are always striving for perfection in our society and it's not going to happen … When I found out my second child was a girl, I cried. Not tears of joy, but frightened tears … I was/am so afraid of my daughter learning this behavior from me.”
And that’s why many iVillagers agree that the campaign tagline asking moms to talk to their daughters about beauty pressures is one that should be heeded. Member carketch says: “Parents should take an active role in building their children’s self-esteem. There is little question that the pervasive marketing of beauty and diet products, and the glamorization of stick-thin celebrities can have a detrimental effect on a little girl's self-image. The child IS going to be exposed to that imagery, we can't stop that. But we can do our best to counteract it, if we talk to them about it.”
What do you think about Dove’s latest ad? Is it effective, or does it go too far? Do you talk to your kids about body issues?
Community Producer Stephanie is fairly new to our team, but she already knows how to push my buttons! This, of course, is exactly why she's so good at what she does. After my last rant about the school fundraisers, I think she knew she had an easy mark when she tipped me off to the conversations happening around this article about fingerprinting children at school to use biometric technology to speed up the lunch line. Say what? In order to get the kids moving through the line a bit faster, a school district in Colorado planned to use fingerprint scanning to store information about the kids' lunch accounts and remove the need for lunch tickets, ID numbers or cards. That is until some parents found out about the approach and cried foul, citing privacy concerns. Finger scanning is already in place in some schools in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and West Virginia, while other states have explicitly barred schools from collecting this information for such purposes. I'll just come right out and say that I'm not for the use of biometrics in schools to speed up the lunch lines. Sure, there are valid privacy concerns and I could easily veer off into "Well why don't we just MICROCHIP everyone", but there's an easier less-paranoid argument to be made. And that's simply that I feel the expense, implementation and upkeep of a finger scan system is an overreaction to a relatively simple problem. So I was all set to get my rant on when I realized ... I don't even have to: our iVillage community is already on the case!
I imagine iVillage member jagl1 on the In the News message board speaks for many, saying "I am against this whole using biometrics for identifying minor children, with the exception of police departments. NO ONE should be trusted with this kind of unique information." She then points out (very astutely I might add): "How many times have I heard about some government entity having its a laptop swiped? No thank you. ... Do I have a better idea? What's wrong with ID cards? If the ID card is lost, a new ID card and # should be issued." Exactly!
While I was busy nodding along with jagl1's comments, along comes my2craigs who pretty much took the rest of the words out of my mouth with this comment: "There are a lot of other ways to speed up a lunch line." Indeed -- like high-speed conveyor belts and only serving bread and water, for starters. Ok maybe not, but she goes on to put her finger on (ahem) what is probably the real issue here: "Maybe the problem is with too short a lunch period. Come on..20 minutes?? That's just crazy. Are we so desperate for class time to try to cram more info into children or give them a standardized test that we can't give them enough time to eat or play or just have some down time?" Oh don't even get me started, my2craigs ... don't even get me started!
There's also been some talk about the issue of fingerprinting on the November 2006 Ginger Snaps playgroup. flmanatee23 is somewhat torn about this issue: "At first I was all for it, this just seemed like a great piece of advancement schools should be utilizing… then I started to think about the future of identification and of course identification theft…and my other side isn’t so sure anymore. While as a school teacher I am all for adding valuable time to lunch lol, I am not sure if I would want the school board keeping such sensitive records."
So what do you think? Is fingerprint scanning a great idea to keep the lines moving and store kids' info at school or is it one step closer to total government control? Or maybe somewhere in the less extreme middle? How does your child's school handle lunchtime? Do you feel they get enough time to eat their lunch? Of course if your school district is already using this technology, I'm especially interested in hearing from you! Look, I'm not against using technology to improve our lives and make things more efficient, but I say let's hold off on applying it to the school lunch line until we all get our flying cars. Who's with me?
Researchers now say that a safe and effective male contraceptive could be available in the next 3-5 years. Options that may soon arrive in the market include a pill to be taken orally, a patch or gel applied to the skin, and an injection given every three months.
What’s that we hear? A chorus of hallelujahs spreading through the iVillage boards?
Many iVillagers, like member sandybryant, say it's about time there was a male option for birth control: “A male birth control method that is more effective than condoms, and less permanent than a vasectomy is LONG overdue. [Men should be able to] take more proactive measures to prevent unwanted pregnancies.” Member cl-clabk agrees, adding that it presents more options to both single men and women: “This will have a big impact on the younger generation. I hear so many women say that they don’t use condoms because their partners don’t like them. This would be an alternative to the condom for contraception purposes, but still put some responsibility on the man instead of only on the woman.”
Even our iVillage guy members, such as martinisnsushi, say they would love the option of a male contraceptive: “Had such a thing been available when I was single, I would have been all over it, as would most of my friends. We all knew horror stories about casual relationships unexpectedly requiring the marriage/abortion/paternity suit/fatherhood decision, and would have loved to have been one step closer to avoiding that in case she forgot to take her pill, had a complication, or the condom broke.”
There's a strong consensus among married couples as well. Member tina_n_madison says that with a male birth control pill, husbands will be finally able to "do their part": “Men should be able to protect themselves and not have to rely on the woman. I don't want to take a pill everyday. I went through two pregnancies, all the doctors visits, 2 C-sections, and the recovery. It's time my husband took care of the prevention part.”
But can women really trust their partners to take a birth control pill regularly?
Members, like apaprikao, think their husbands' “forgetfulness” can be a problem: “Personally I wouldn't be able to trust my husband to remember to take it every day. I still have to remind him to take his vitamin, take out the overflowing trash can, and fold the overwhelming pile of dirty laundry.” Member danid also questions men’s commitment to taking on such a responsibility, especially because they’re not the ones who actually get pregnant: “The real test will be to see how many men will take the initiative to (1) make and keep the regular doctor’s appointments in order to get the contraceptive (2) keep the medication refilled and paid for and (3) live with any negative side effects that occur. We'll have to see who the real men are when/if this type of product become available."
Members also foresee other problems with male birth control. Says martinsushi: “The one thing I would worry about is the possibility that people would forget about STDs and forego condoms for casual sex.”
Have your say. What do you think about a male contraceptive? Would your partner use it?
