September 2007 Archives
Guess what. According to a recent survey, right this minute at least, you probably are. According to the survey results (compiled by a crack team of psychologists and economists), women report that only 13% of the amount of time they spend using the computer makes them feel "sadness or stress." So for 87% of the time you spend online, you're feeling pretty good, thanks very much. Good news, right? (Especially if you were just looking for an excuse to come visit us at the 'Hive more often.)
The survey asked men and women what they actually did all day long—that is, how many minutes each individual spent doing dishes, exercising, working, reading, using the computer, and so on. But what's more compelling, the survey also asked people to quantify how they felt while they were doing it. (Check out how men and women responded to questions about various activities here.)
Eeeenteresting. But wait, there's more.
What the researchers found was that when they added up the numbers, the men surveyed reported feeling pretty decently good about whatever they were doing for about ninety minutes more per day than women did.
So, men feel happy for ninety more minutes each day than women do.
Yep, file under "eeeeeenteresting."
The Times takes this statistic to imply that women are unhappier during more minutes of the day because we're trying to do too much every day; there's too much pressure on women to perform better in more spheres of life, because the opening up of our horizons and opportunities has had the unfortunate effect of secretly crushing our brave-but-fragile female psyches. We're stressed out! We're doing too much! Save us! Give us less to do! We can't hack it! We're unhappy!
On the other hand, the results could also be interpreted to mean that men are just more optimistic than women are—more likely to report being happier at various times throughout the day because, as everyone knows, men have naturally sunnier dispositions than we women do. Looking down through the "glass ceiling"—which men, of course, know as a "glass floor"—at all the women jumping up to reach for an equitable hourly wage can have the effect of lifting one's mood. "Look at 'em jump!" (Hehh hehh... Okay, just kidding, don't get mad.)
And then, on the other other hand... What if women and men feel about the same amount of happiness, but women are just better at accurately reporting their emotional state at any given moment? Are women (perhaps unlike men) less likely to overestimate or underestimate their happiness or unhappiness, even for a "scientific survey," because we're, you know, like, better at all that emotional stuff?
So, let's take an unofficial survey of our own...
See what people on the street have to say. Click here to watch the video. And tell us what you think! If men are happier, why? If women are, why? If you think the whole question is super-loco-crazy, why?
what's this?
Ah ... the kids are back in school, that feeling of fall is in the air and jumbo bags of Halloween candy are lining every aisle at your local drugstore. Before you're lulled into a false sense of security with the promise of "fun size" Snickers, I do need to remind you that it's also the season for something much more sinister.
Yes, that's right: the school fundraiser.
It's that time again, folks, and there's nowhere you can hide to escape the lure of children selling reams of holiday wrapping paper, $20 a pound chocolate covered cherries or giant tubs of cookie dough. (Not that I have anything against giant tubs of cookie dough, mind you.) Over the past few days, the iVillage Community Moderators have been swapping stories and lamenting over the yearly fundraising onslaught.
Of course we all can relate, especially those of us with kids in school. I will admit, I was mildly amused by this shared annoyance ... until my daughter came home yesterday with the dreaded fundraising catalog from her school. What is it about these fundraisers that make us cringe? Is it the products themselves? The pricing? The chintzy little "prizes" they use to motivate the kids ... so they can sell 20 items and get a light-up pen that also is a clock? Or is it the notion of fundraising in general?
Member aquagrl914 probably speaks for many iVillagers when she posted this on the Frugal Families message board: "I really hate school fundraisers GRRRRRRR!! My kids have been in school about a month now and they have already come home with pictures, 3 fundraisers, 2 book orders and 2 different fairs and silent auctions in the next two weeks."
Member e13lorena is feeling the pinch as well: "Fundrasiers are also crazy here and those darned book order forms - I don't buy any of it. I let the girls do the fund raisers if they want to ask people, but I don't buy from them. The school only gets 1/2 the money anyway and the stuff is soooo over-priced and the kids only want to sell it to get some stupid plastic prize if they sell so much."
On the 4th, 5th & 6th Grade message board janetis40 puts her finger on some of the awkwardness: "I hate asking family all the time to buy stuff that they really don't want ... so my Mom bought one thing and then my DH and I bought up the rest so she could at least go to the big party." and my2kidsmom199498 points out that it's even worse for the kids in after-school activities or other youth groups, "... it isn't just my kids' two schools running fundraisers, but they are both in scouts, so we have fall product, popcorn, cookies, and wreaths for both kids."
Enough is enough already? I bet there are several of you out there right now nodding your head, because you're going through the same thing. Go on, how many of you have kids with multiple fundraisers right now?
When the topic of school fundraisers came up on the Latter-Day Saint Families message board packofkids offered this perspective as a former PTA president:
"Back when I was PTA president I conducted a survey concerning fund raisers. 84% of the parents said they hated Sally Foster. Sally Foster is one of those "crap from China" companies, where the school/PTA gets 50% of the money. At our school parents buy $10,000 worth of crap and the school gets $5000. And that's with 84% hating it! The problem with those crap from China companies is they work, or else schools wouldn't use them."She then goes on to say, "Remember that any fund raiser you participate in is basically saying, "I like this fund raiser, please bring it back next year."
Hmmm... she does have a point. So what's the answer here? Just suck it up, buy your wrapping paper and some cookie dough and get over it? How do you feel about the ubiquitous school fundraiser? Are you buying or balking? Making a cash donation instead? Are there fundraisers that you actually like? Share your opinions on school fundraising here, or join the discussion on the Frugal Families board.
Now... anyone in the market for some holiday gift tags or a giant summer sausage?
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It seems that two's a crowd for an Australian woman who gave birth to twins instead of a single baby after receiving in-vitro fertilization. She has sued her doctor for the cost of raising the second child.
The news touched off a barrage of angry posts on the iVillage boards, where members are calling the woman's lawsuit ridiculous, unbelievable and just plain crazy. Others were simply left "speechless."
Member navasha points out that the woman had to know fertility treatments increased the chance of multiple births: "What she is doing is setting back fertility treatments IMO. Even if they had only put back one embryo, who says it wouldn't have divided, [resulting in] identical twins?"
iVillagers, such as dnikkid, who have undergone in-vitro fertilization also felt compelled to weigh in with their opinions: "Having gone through IVF, becoming pregnant with twin girls and then losing both those girls late in the pregnancy, this story disgusts me... I'm really surprised this lawsuit has made it this far." Member mom_jill agrees: "After trying for so long to get pregnant, [my husband and I] would be thrilled to have twins. Yes, it would mean additional expenses, but I look at it as the possibility of a bonus baby for all our efforts. If she wins this case, this could mean huge issues for everyone. Doctors will be less willing to work with infertility for fear of being sued."
Member amermae also thinks the couple should actually consider themselves lucky: "Many women go through IVF and never get what they are truly seeking, [while they're] upset because they got more than one miracle."
While many members peppered the boards with posts expressing outrage and disbelief, others, such as magoos_mama at the March 2007 Playgroup believe that the lawsuit may be valid under certain circumstances: "I think her suit does have merit if, and only if, she told the doctor to only implant one embryo and the doctor implanted two or more embryos against her will. What if the doctor decided to implant six, seven, eight embryos? Shouldn't the woman have the right to tell the doctor not to do something that would increase her chances of having a high-risk pregnancy/birth?"
The question is: did the couple request for only one embryo to be transferred? iVillagers who have undergone IVF, such as lucy8691, from the Oct 2003 Plagroup board, believe that would have been a ludicrous request: "I had three implanted. Some couples request two, but I couldn't believe that a doctor would implant only one, that is a lot of money for just one shot... I bet if they did only one and it didn't work they would have sued because it didn't. That doctor wasn't going to win no matter what he did with that couple."
Tell us what you think. Is this a crazy lawsuit or a valid one?
By now, you've probably heard about the recent controversy involving Southwest Airlines and passengers who were told their outfits were too skimpy and revealing to wear on a flight. The airline has since apologized (and has even decided to "honor" the miniskirt by offering "skimpy" fares), but not before it set the iVillage boards buzzing.
The whole brouhaha prompted iVillagers to discuss and debate the issue of dress codes on flights. Should there be one? Should airlines be wary of short skirts on a plane? A recent iVillage poll showed that 57% of respondents are against the idea of a dress code on flights, and want to be able to wear whatever they want. Forty-three percent think appropriate attire should be enforced.
Members, like ngelic_one, question the logic of enforcing a fashion police--in the skies or on the ground: "These outfits are no different than what you see on any other woman walking in the mall. Where does this end? Shall we make sure all women are covered from head to toe... No skirts allowed on planes, uses, trains, in public, in movies? I have been on a plane sitting next to an overweight, smelly man in a tank top. He wasn't asked to disembark the plane. Frankly, I would rather sit next to either of these women than the fat smelly guy."
Will a dress code fly in these days of tight airport security and increasing restrictions? Some members, like ameera1013, foresee nothing but passenger hostility and disorder in airports if airlines start enforcing dress codes on flights: "I think it would only cause more delayed flights (from people arguing their attire), and create hordes of angry fliers who are forced to change airlines just to get where they paid a lot of money to go in the first place."
Indeed, air travel has gotten so chaotic lately that member duncanator thinks being scrutinized for fashion choices just adds to the unpleasantness of the already-not-so-friendly skies. "Air travel is hard and disgusting enough without having to be uncomfortable in one's clothing. It's almost like traveling on a crowded bus, only a bus has more leg room."
Some members, like snafu2006, think this controversy was merely a case of a too-judgemental flight attendant: "I think the airline needs to hire flight attendants who don't have a power trip to lay on people." Member russettdiamond agrees, saying everyone should just lighten up. "There are far worse things to get bent out of shape over than something someone is wearing."
What did you think of the whole controversy, and of Southwest Airlines' apology?
Member katrina789 recently had to vent on the Relationships in Our 20s board when her boyfriend suggested (albeit drunkenly) that he was better looking than her. Gasp! iVillage members, as always, gave katrina789 some great advice. Member ajiamarillo said it best when she reassured her by saying, "just because his head is inflated doesn't mean you're any less [beautiful]". So true, ajiamarillo, so true.
The post, however, reminded me of a TIME article published back in April about "interfacial relationships", when one person is noticeably more attractive than their significant other. Now, this is not something new. We've seen the Donald/Melania Trump and Salman Rushdie/Padma Lakshmi pairings of the world. But why do people think that the hot guy/not-so-hot girl combo is so... strange? It's perfectly normal for girls to marry guys for their financial status, but guys can't like girls purely for their... um, humor and wit?
Tell us your stories! Have you ever dated someone hotter than you? Does your S.O think he's the hot one in the relationship?
A few weeks ago, iVillagers got into some serious discussions about the "diaper-free movement" that recently made the news. Now, another baby bottom-related debate is buzzing around the Pregnancy and Parenting boards: should toddlers be banned from public pools?
In Utah, leakage from diapers has become such a concern that some counties are banning children under five years of age from public swimming pools. This year, the state had 422 cases of swimmers contracting a parasite found in water contaminated by human or animal feces. The parasite can cause severe diarrhea.
As moms everywhere try to take advantage of the year's last few swimming-weather days, some iVillagers, like member leafygreens, support the ban for the 5-and-under crowd (even in swim diapers) citing health hazards and sanitation concerns. Others, like members white.wave7 and hibooboo don't agree with the age requirement:
"Why would you ban all kids under 5 if there are kids out there who are potty trained with no problems before that age?"
Member ancnmom also points out that lifeguards often say it's the older kids (6-9 years old) that send the "floaters" out into the pool.
What do you think is the best solution to this "poop problem"? Ban the kids? Plastic pants? Don't use public pools at all?
Last week, prosecutors said that a southwest Ohio school administrator won't face charges over her 2-year-old daughter's death in a sweltering car.
Authorities said Brenda Nesselroad-Slaby left her daughter, Cecilia, strapped into a car seat in her SUV for about eight hours while she went into work on Aug. 23, a day when temperatures reached 100 degrees.
Leaving the child in the car was "a substantial lapse of due care" but did not meet the definition of reckless conduct necessary for prosecution, said Clermont County Prosecutor Don White.
The news prompted angry posts on iVillage's message boards. Some expressed outrage at the fact that the Nesselroad-Slaby escaped prosecution, especially in light of reports that that she had left her daughter in the car unattended on previous occasions. Others, like member britstarlite32205, were left asking questions:
"It boggles my mind that this woman was able to get away with such a horrendous crime against her child. Where is the justice?"
Member rtmom07 points out that a police officer was recently charged with animal cruelty after the police dog he left in his car on a 109-degree day died. She, too, has questions:
"Now this guy is getting charged with animal cruelty for letting his dog die in the car. That is horrible enough, but no punishment for letting your own child die of the heat in your own car? I simply cannot understand the thinking!! I like dogs, but shouldn't a child's life be at least as important?"
Many can't comprehend how any mother could forget her child, not just for a few minutes, but for an entire day. Was this negligence? Member ddnlj thinks so: "'Forget'" doesn't cut it when it comes to a child. I'll bet these same people leave the house remembering their cellphone, briefcase and laptop... If they are that wrapped up in their work that they forget their parenting responsibilities then they need a new, less stressful job."
The AP identified more than 220 cases in which the caregiver admitted leaving the child behind. More than three-quarters of those people said they simply forgot.
The same day as Cecilia's death, a 7-month-old infant died in a parked car near the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, where the child's father is a research analyst, authorities said.
Prosecutors there have not said if they will file charges.
Last weekend, an Oregon man was charged with child neglect, accused of leaving his 2-year-old daughter in a car in 95-degree heat in the parking lot of a Nevada brothel. The toddler was treated for dehydration and released to the Nevada Division of Child and Family Services.
For more information on hyperthermia deaths of children in vehicles, including statistics and safety recommendations, see or download a fact sheet at Golden Gate Weather Services.
Tell us what you think. Do you agree with the decision not to file criminal charges against Nesselroad-Slaby?
