Like a Virgin?
While I couldn't pass up a chance to reference Madonna, I also couldn't help but do a double take when I saw this discussion about hymenoplasty on our message boards. What's hymenoplasty, you ask? Well ... simply put it's a surgical procedure that restores the hymen to give a woman the illusion of virginity. No, I'm not kidding. Really. Before you all jump on the "That's CRAZY!" boat, I should also point out that this procedure is often done for women in cultures where the stigma of not being a virgin when married can lead to very dire consequences. It seems that some docs in France are now calling for an end to this practice, as they say it "denigrates women and gives in to Muslim fundamentalism." So beyond a medical procedure, this quickly becomes a tangled mess of policy, society and religion. The take from the Current Debates message board:
"Makes me think of the saying, two wrongs don't make a right. In this case... the family/societal need for virginal women and the shame induced surgery.""Once you have done the deed once you aren't a virgin anymore. there is no going back."
"...if women have the right to have other forms of plastic surgery, they should have the right to this one. I find it a little scary that the medical community can dictate what medical procedures women can access on the basis of their social opinions."
"It doesn't make you a virgin again, it gives the illusion of virginity. That women feel they have to do that at least borders on tragic, but given that there are still cultures that practice honor killings, I wouldn't dare deny it to someone."
Does this come down to the question of what's worse -- having the surgery or feeling like you have to in the first place? Or is this issue now more about the dictation of medical policy? Let me know what you think and never let it be said that we don't truly cover it all.
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pigred
I think it's so sad that some women feel the need to get this surgery. Even if one does regret their lost virginity, getting reconstructive surgery will not reverse the truth.
pigred
yes well, it is sad that women have to reosrt to this to gain social acceptance.. but it still beats beind killed in cold blood in the name of honour killing jus becos ur husband discovered u arent a virgin. No doctor in the world has the right to deny someone a chance to live. this may seem like a cosmetic or fancy thing to us.. but in some other part of the world it might save someone's life. If doctors have such strong social opinoins on this, why dont they proteset boob jobs etc where women feel the need to go through al that to gain male acceptance and attention? Isnt that giving in to male chauvanism and objectification of women??
I'm amazed, I'd never heard of such a thing! Geez, how many other female body parts can we "surgically enhance"? What's next, surgically enhancing our ovaries so they look better in an ultrasound?
still doesn't change the fact that she's living a lie. If the husband found out about the procedure.......?
My best friend was Muslim. I say was because she was killed by her father.
She was Saudi, and got married to a man who loved her in Saudi Arabia. He knew she wasn't a virgin, and didn't care, as they were sexually active together well before their marriage.
Her father found out because he ordered her to undergo a "medical virginity test", and they found a ruptured hymen. Although it is well known that a ruptured hymen is no sign of sexual activity, he was very fundamentalist.
I wonder if I would still have my best friend, and if her husband would still be a happy man in love, if she had had this surgery. I don't give a damn about politics, this sirgery can save lives.
cont...
However muslim women who opt for this procedure are women who are raised in a particular conservative atmosphere and who decide to give up those values and adopt different ones but however at the time of marriage they decide to marry into the same conservative families ad therefore recourse to this surgery to hide from man what they an never hide from god.
Therefore this procedure has NOTHING to do with being muslim it has something o do with cheating and not having the courage to stand for your beliefs and actions.
Hi I am a muslim girl. This bothered me because well for one thing it is an implication that muslim women think its ok to have extra marital sex and then cheat their husbands into believing they havenât.
As an implication itâs false.
There are two things that need to be acknowledged here
1. A woman who is getting hymenoplasty done obviously wants to conceal her actions. Which totally sets it apart from boob jobs as these are mainly due to low self image as one of the commentors mentioned earlier.
2. To want to conceal her actions implies cheating. Cheating is wrong. Whether at cards, work or marriage.
However having said that the quote says âdenigrates women and gives in to Muslim fundamentalism."
It has nothing what so ever to do with muslim fundamentalism because
In Islam like most other religions sex outside of marriage is forbidden and it is a decree most muslims take seriously.
Hi I am a muslim girl. This bothered me because well for one thing it is an implication that muslim women think its ok to have extra marital sex and then cheat their husbands into believing they havenât.
As an implication itâs false.
There are two things that need to be acknowledged here
1. A woman who is getting hymenoplasty done obviously wants to conceal her actions. Which totally sets it apart from boob jobs as these are mainly due to low self image as one of the commentors mentioned earlier.
2. To want to conceal her actions implies cheating. Cheating is wrong. Whether at cards, work or marriage.
However having said that the quote says âdenigrates women and gives in to Muslim fundamentalism."
It has nothing what so ever to do with muslim fundamentalism because
In Islam like most other religions sex outside of marriage is forbidden and it is a decree most muslims take seriously.
What to do with one's virginity is a highly personal choice and I find it sad that there are women who would feel so pressured by society, religion, etc., that they would take such a drastic action to "restore the illusion" of virginity after the fact, regardless of whether they're doing so to be deceitful or for other reasons.
I decry the need for this surgery to be performed, but if a woman feels it's best for her, then I think that option should be available to her. It seems like one of the most personal decisions that could be made, and not something that should be legislated.
whoever thought of this surgery is an idiot. Whether your hymen is intact is not a sign of viginity. It can rupture due to many athletic, healthy activities and if someone is that "in need" of feeling like a virgin again, give your heart to God and keep your knees together.
Hello all,
I work with a small film production company called TrixieFilms, which is currently shooting a documentary on notions of virginity in the US. We're looking for people to talk to about their views on the subject of hymenoplasty, especially if they have had or are considering the surgery. This film is essentially looking at myths, misconceptions, cultural beliefs
and current trends in the realms of sex and virginity including hymenoplasty, purity balls, abstinence-only education, etc. etc. etc. Any information anyone may have on these topics would also be great.
Thanks,
Erin
hi i have a friend who will be getting married in 8 month and she is not a virgin and in order for her to get married she has to be a virgin and i am truing to do my best to help her out with this which mean she has to get a surgery done to go back to a virgin does anyone of u have an idea where she can go to get this procedure done any and plastic surgeon or any phone number.