Survey Says...
Moms have a lot on their minds -- that's no real surprise, is it? But how do they feel about being connected to their families, their parenting style vs. that of their mothers' and staying at home vs. work (yes, that!). Take a peek at the results of a recent national survey that delves into what today's moms are thinking. Honestly, most moms I know are thinking, "What is so hard about putting dirty clothes IN the hamper, people??" -- that is if they can get that Dora the Explorer theme song out of their head. And that's a big if. Beyond the day-to-day distractions, how moms feel about the "big" questions offers a snapshot of today's parents.
Only 64% of women surveyed said they felt very connected to their spouse/partner.
79% of women say working moms still feel guilty about not staying home with their children.
61% of moms with children under 18 say they spend more time with their children than their mothers did.
Check out the full report and share your reaction to the survey and the findings. Do you these results represent your reality or do they even begin to scratch the surface of who you are as a woman/wife/mother? What questions would you like to see asked? Let me know what you think!
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I guess I feel 'connected' to my spouse and kids. But, what exactly does that mean? Emotionally? Physically? Technologically?
I think 64% is higher than I would've predicted, although I do feel pretty connected - mentally, physically, and emotionally - to my hubby. And I know I spend more time with my kids than my mom, but my mom had 7, whereas I only have 2, lol. ;)
it all depends on what time of day you asked me, and what had happened during that day... there are days when I want nothing more than to be DISconnected from my family/spouse, lol I can't leave for the grocery store without the cell ringing, there's always a child hanging on me, etc. But I do love them, I do.... most of the time!
I'm not connected to my husband at all, and I'd say my mom spent more time with us than I do with mine. But then, my mom was a full time stay at home mom until we were in our early to mid teens.
It's true moms of 20+ years ago spent less time with us as kids but families in general were bigger and moms were working outside the home back then too. My mom worked outside the home for as long as I remember and she depended on me as the oldest child, to help around the home and care for my siblings. I don't know that she felt guilty about that, all this guilt mothers say they feel I think is a modern day thing, maybe mothers who are fortunate enough to be able to be at home are imposing the guilt?
LOL I disagree with most of those stats! As a SAHM, I think I understand working moms more than I do other sahms. ;) and I've already started talking finances with my little ones, haven't hit any of the big sex talks - yet.
I wish I were LESS connected to my family when I'm in the bathroom.
The sex talks went well and the finances have gone extremely well. Being a single mom, we never have any money. Once bills are paid, there is very little left over. So we have always talked money and how I try to save at least a tiny bit each month. I think it must be harder for parents who make a decent living to discuss finances.
I think whether a mom works or does not work shouldn't affect if they are 'connected' or not. If they say it does, in my opinion it is an excuse and it only perpetuates the myth that working moms have guilt and aren't as good of a parent because they work. If working moms want to stop that whole thing, they need to stop feeding into it.
I work full time and still manage to feel very connected to my spouse and my children. You do not need to be with someone 24-7 to feel connected. I also do not feel guilty that I work. My money provides things that make my children happy, keeps them healthy, gives them a safe home and allows them to participate in things I could not do otherwise. I would feel more guilty living off of the government or if they could not take music or sports lessons if they are talented. And guilt is self-induced. If we stop listening to what others think and do what works for us, why feel guilty.
I feel more connected to my kids than my friends and definitely connected to my husband on many levels.
I've never understood the inability of SAH moms to relate to WOH moms or vice versa.
Interesting thoughts on the modern woman. I just saw a blog post about the 1948 bride and the way things may have been back then. Times change, expectations change, people always struggle. http://groups.ivillage.com/busymomscook/blog/2007/05/10/the_modern_bride_1948
In terms of my child, I would say that I feel very connected to my son almost all of the time. He'll be thirteen soon and I have been home for him since two weeks before my 20 hour labor. Personally, (and professionally. . .I am an MSW) I think that there is a message out there in society that if one chooses to follow their career and take care of a family, that a woman has to detach from and belie her very innate and unique bond to her children. However much a woman is with her children, she has a bond that no one else on this earth can ever have with those little, or big, human beings.
Society forces us to get tied up in the decisions of work versus family as well as the guilt of the details. No one can take Mom's place.