I’ll Have What She’s Having
Have Hotter Sex Board, we have a problem.
“Hi, I'm in my early twenties and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years… I have never been able to achieve an orgasm during sex, including with my current boyfriend. I have been faking orgasms for the entire 4 years that we have been together. However, lately I can't motivate myself to have sex with my bf because I really want to have an orgasm and I know I won't, so it seems pointless.”
Sexpert Laura Corn responds: “Wow. Well I wouldn't go telling your bf that you've been faking it for nearly half a decade, but I would tell him that you've been having trouble having a big O lately, and that you want to show him how to make you come… Just keep trying and you'll figure it out, and the practice will sure be a lot of fun!”
curiousj3 : “The problem is that the more you focus on the fact that you're not having orgasms, the least likely you will have them. You've probably heard it before but it really is a mind thing. You can train yourself to bring your mind back to the moment and the feelings you're experiencing.”
Can you imagine faking it for FOUR YEARS? And isn’t this, like, every guy’s nightmare?
Maybe this girl should consider checking out some of our more, ahem, illuminating reading material?
Just something to think about before heading off to whatever plans your weekend holds in store…
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: I’ll Have What She’s Having.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://beehive.ivillage.com/system/mt-tb.cgi/882
well its like this, there's a couple of interesting places that your boyfriend can nibble, massage,or just get down right fiesty with. Sometimes we need a little help with getting in the mood, For instance a very tasteful flick.There just happens to be thousands of books,pictures ect. The main thing is, you're not the only one in this relationship and he should want to brush up on this subject.
It's worth asking yourself a couple questions: "What is it about me, and/or me in this relationship, that made me start faking orgasm and why did I continue so long?" And given that your BF hasn't paid enough attention to see through your faking, are you willing to learn what you need to know in order to teach him how to be the kind of lover you need?
Don't remember who said this first, but:
Sure, women can fake orgasms, but men fake whole relationships...
Practice practice practice! And I don't mean with him, but find out what makes you go over the top by yourself. That gives you all the information you need when you are telling him what to do.
I know how you feel... When I first got with my husband(he doenst know this to this day) I use to fake all the time. Then one day I just decided to let myself go and actually let him finish what he started and it was the best..
Well,I faked it for 20 years with my first husband. I never felt comfortable telling him and he didn't seem to care or notice. Several years before I divorced him I found that the sooner I faked it the sooner it was over. Now I have met a great guy and now know what I what all the hoopla is all about.
Iam 37 and have yet to have the big O.The only time I am able to climax is by way of masterbation or oral sex.I try to relax and get into what i'm doing but I never get that feeling I get when I do it myself or oral sex.What am I not doing right.The feeling is great and I feel something but not the Big O
Help Plz
I just recently turned 16. I know that I am still young, probably too young to even worry but I haven't been able to experience the big O and I'm getting kinda paranoid. Ive had 2 partners already, 1 my 1st bf and the other a 1 time fling. I was sexually active with my bf for about 5 months and never once did I get there; not by intercourse, oral, or masturbation, let's just say he thought I did. He was a virgin so I blamed his inexperience for me not getting there. that's when the fling came to play about 3 months after i broke up with my bf. the fling had been around the block more than a couple times. I figured why not, maybe he might just do the trick. but unfortunately he didn't and I faked.
now Im with my current bf. before, with the other 2, i couldnt even feel a pleasurable sensation, it felt as good as touching my arm. with my current bf though, it does feel good but not enough to get me there. first i thought it was mental, then i thought it was physical. im so confused, plz help me. i dont want to fake
I've never had the O with anyone. The worst (for him) thing BF did was introduce me to a BOB-battery operated boyfriend. I sure didn't need him after that. It wasn't good with him anyway, it was all about him and not me. I faked it. I think if I had of felt love and not being degraded by what HE liked, maybe it could have been different.
I have yet to have an orgasm as well, during sexual intercourse and like the other women mentioned, I fake it. It's actually kind of funny because I lay there and get tired of sex because we try toacheive orgasm at the same time, my boyfriend and I. WHen I get tired I just fake it and am so relieved that its all over.
I go to the bathroom to finish the job sometimes myself, but mostly I'm just frustrated.
HELP!
OOOOH,seek first the kingdom of heaven and all shalt come unto he. this means set your ultimate goal. happiness... the glass is either half full of half empty. think naughty and play rough, swap and change constantly, push your self past the limits each time, think what can i do to make this even better. regular intensifing exercise can help dramaticly giving a heightened sensual stimulation. take slower deeper breaths and bend your self in all positions. go hard or go home male and female, battle each other for who is incharge. be demanding. its as simple as deciding weather or not to get of the couch. Brady boy..
I have been faking it the whole time my husband and I have been together. And its not him, its me. For some reason no matter what he does i can never have an orgasim. Even when I am in the mood it doesnt happen. And its not just my husband that i have had this problem with. Its past relationships too..What can i do??
Is it possible for you all to make yourselves orgasm? This is probably the most important thing in figuring out how to make it happen with your partner.. Getting yourself there is most of the battle. Practice practice practice..and enjoy yourself. don't just try for an orgasm go for anything that feels good.
I have been with a few people but my current partner is the 1st person to make me orgasm by going down on me. I came to the conclusion though, that it was my own inhibitions preventing it before. I was self conscious and not allowing myself to be pleasured. Let yourself go. And also-- a few things that help me get there are simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation-- if your partner is inside you, touch yourself... don't be self conscious- he will love to watch you. And also.. kegals! maybe the best thing in the world. Do them all the time.
The objectives of the WHO Global Oral Health Programme (ORH), one of the technical programmes within the Department of Chronic Diseases and Health Promotion (CHP), have been reoriented according to the new strategy of disease prevention and promotion. WBR LeoP
When I was younger, I thought that there was no way I would ever be able to orgasm. Then, a girlfriend dragged me to a seminar on the topic (talk about variety!), and they said, "Start alone, it is rare that your boyfriend or husband will ever be able to get you going if you don't know what gets you going." Your partner probably really wants you to come, and if you teach him how then he can feel included, excited, and you get to feel great. :)
Also, it's important to remember that not all orgasm comes from intercourse. In fact, most women cannot actually come from sex. They need different stimulation. He'll probably love to do that too, my boyfriend loves to rub me and then he grins from ear to ear when I squeak. :) He's usually beside me, not inside me. That part is later.
Also...another thing that my boyfriend has always said, "Good men know that ladies come first. That's how it should be, and any man who is in it for his own orgasm alone isn't really the guy you want to be with."
Hope that helps!