To Breed or Not to Breed
How old is too old to become a mother? Is there a perfect age for becoming pregnant? And why do they make poor Ann Curry do interviews at the scary Top of the Rock on such a gray and drizzly day?
This morning there was a Today Show segment that focused on the question, “How old is too old to become a mom?” It’s a contentious issue, one that quickly transforms into justifying and judging. Younger moms are more energetic! Older moms are more financially secure! Younger moms are irresponsible! Older moms are selfish!
So when witch_power asked the boards that same fateful question, how old is too old to be a mom, you just knew things were gonna get crazy, didn’t you?
Many iVillagers who answered witch_power's poll seemed to think that women in their thirties and forties were too old to be having their first kid. jamamm responded, “WOW!! I guess a lot of people on this board don't believe I should have had my son...my son was born when I was 34.” And nemom2002: “Aren't women who have children in their early 20's worried about what they're missing out on?”
Then there’s the younger mom contingent, like noraandrosiesmommy, who writes, “I'll be young enough to enjoy my grandchildren and greatgrandchildren,” and momakasie, who responds to an older mom, “…it sounds to me like you are just jealous because you were too caught up in you when you were younger to care about loving a child, or getting married.”
What do you think? What’s the right age to become a mother? Weigh in here.
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When considering the right time for motherhood, a woman should make sure she is healthy, financially stable, emotionally mature, and surrounded by a nurturing support system. When all these things are in place, then it is the right time to have a child. Age doesn't matter. Afterall, what difference would it make to a baby if it's mother didn't have the stability it needed, but was deemed the correct age by people who responded to a survey?
For those who believe that women should have babies before their 30's, what do you have to say about those of us who simply didn't want to marry a loser and waited until we found someone worth marrying and having children with? Does that mean our abilities to be great mothers have been compromised?
I'm looking forward to becoming a mom for the first-time at 35, and it doesn't bother me. I've put my career in place, travelled the world, opened my heart and mind more than I even did in my twenties, and married my best friend. I'm ready now. I'm financially secure and got everything out of my system I wanted to do, plus my husband and I agree we both want kids. We had time to be a couple too, something more people should do to figure things out. What's the rush?
Had I had a kid in my twenties, I would not have been as happy with myself. It's hard work, and let's face it, a financial and emotional drain. Why put yourself through that so soon in life? I wasn't ready for that responsibility and committment then. Your twenties are for growing into adulthood, travelling, establishing and really knowing yourself before you give to another.
Many friends of mine got married young - "starter marriages" only to realize they weren't ready to take marriage and having children seriously. They tell me I'll be fine.
I don't really think it matters what age you have your first child, I'm heading into forty years old abd I have four kids. My first was born only five years ago.
I don´t know when is the right age, except that it is when God sends you your children. I have been trying to get pregnan for 8 years and, now in mya thirties, I think I still have all the energy and love to give to my kids (when they come). It is not a matter of age, but a matter of love
I'm with you, Rebecca! "When considering the right time for motherhood, a woman should make sure she is healthy, financially stable, emotionally mature, and surrounded by a nurturing support system." I couldn't have said it better myself. And, uh, I didn't.
But don't you think it's telling that women get so worked up about this question? We're all just trying to make sure we're doing things The Right Way, or that's my theory anyway. And what if there's no Right Way?!
I think it's just another battle in the "Mommywars." Short of flat out abusive behaviours, I really don't think one mom's choices are categorically better than another's. I know my choices are right for me, but probably not right for everyone else. I'm very comfortable with that; I just everyone who makes different choices could be too.
I am getting married at 29. I plan to wait a few years, so my husband and i can get the most out of our time together alone. We will be fiancially, emotionally and mentally ready in our 30's. I really enjoyed my 20's, and there is absolutely no way i would have been ready during that time.
I recently got married at 26 and we bought a house only to find out- we didn't want to settle here, we want to travel, explore new careers having a mortgage was committment enough for us ...why add kids to the mix and make us stuck? NO KIDS UNTIL 30's!!!